A case of use it or lose it

C

CarolfromTX

Senior Member
Location
Central Texas
We’ve all heard the phrase “use it or lose it.” That was really brought home to me recently. Dave had cataract surgery. Without going into medical detail, he was unable to drive for 6 weeks or so, so that chore fell to me. Since we retired 7 years ago, Dave has done most of the driving. I drove to my haircut once a month, maybe every now and then somewhere else. Keep in mind I drove myself to work 20 miles every day for years. And lots of other places as well. But having to drive everywhere now really threw me for a loop at first. First time I had to drive on one of our towering flyovers was scary! I found that I had trouble parking right the first time. Or the second. OMG I was insecure and nervous as a teenager with a drivers permit. But gradually, after a couple weeks, I became more confident and competent. Dave can drive now, much to his relief (bit of a control freak, he is! 😜) but I really want to drive more just to stay current.
 

Today I had just been thinking of how my mother was convinced by her husband that it was much better if he drove. Then he died and she had to regain her confidence. It took her a long time, yet she drove for another 20 years.

I only drive when conditions are ideal for me. I don’t want to become totally rusty.
 

My mother had started having panic attacks, so she asked me to drive her to appointments. After 74 she'd quit driving totally.
 
I understand exactly how you were feeling. I hadn't driven in well over a decade due to eye surgeries and my car being totaled (while parked). My husband's Caddie was too big for me and it always seemed like I couldn't see over the hood. I only drove it once during an emergency situation. Then I started having a whole new set of visual issues, including night blindness. When he became so ill that he couldn't drive, his ex was actually the one who took us around to his doctor appointments and to the pharmacy. One night when their son picked her up after she returned my husband's van, I was afraid to drive it less than a block away into our parking lot that night. I had lost confidence in daytime driving as well due to my reaction times, spatial and other visual problems.
 
I could not see well after my second cataract surgery and the readers did not work. My progressives were obsolete. Somehow I figured out I could see distance with my prescription readers but not up close. I was able to drive.

I tried something very similar to these at the craft store and they worked! Flipped up for distance, flipped down for close up which I needed to use the computer at work and read. They saved me. Or I would have had to take a leave from work until I got new prescriptions. Walked around looking like an idiot, but I didn't care.

Amazon.com: Magna-Flip Clip On Flip Up & Down Reader Magnifiers, Converts Distance Glasses and Sunglasses into Reading and Computer Glasses. +2.00 Power. : Health & Household
 
I refused to drive in Mexico. Then when I moved back to Canada, I'd lost my nerve and didn't drive for several more years. Finally my sister's boyfriend took me out a few times on quiet roads, so I could get used to driving again.

When I moved to Korea, I was shocked at how they drove there. But I said I'm not going to go through that again. I immediately got a car and a license and joined in with the crazies.

Now I have other driving hangups. I like driving, as long as I can avoid certain conditions.
 
Still driving but I don't have to drive far to meet all my needs. Will drive around my neighborhood at night. My husband always was the driver for trips. I worked and did have to do some longer routes for my job but I got tired of the traffic. I found a job close to home, did not have to do the freeway at all.
 
Since I retired I see I'm driving much less. This thread is telling me to use this skill or lose it. I will!
If we go somewhere together my husband always drives. He is a good driver. He drives us both crazy when I have to drive. I'm a good driver but I don't like him as a passenger.
Anyway, he has appts now and I will have to drive. We'll both have to get over it!
 
i was only the A to B drive in our relationship, which pleased me , then 11 yrs ago, hubby had his stroke , and it was up to me to drive miles, put petrol, in car, get it serviced etc ...i was a nervous wreck...as for driving at night , well, i just closed my eyes and put my foot on the accelerator...LOL...not really .....

we had just bought a new car 3 weeks , before he got ill, and i remember sitting in the car after visiting him in hospital, it was a dark ,wet night , i was tired, and worried, and i started the engine, BUT , i never knew how to put the lights on, the wipers on or even open the windows .......:eek::unsure:
..but im doing good now..i dont even think about it !!!
 
I’ve heard that phrase before from a doctor. Not for me, but for my friend’s mother who had a double hip replacement 6 weeks apart. She only wanted to sit in her wheelchair and the doctor told her she has to walk. She complained it was too painful. He told her she would have to tolerate it and walk at least a half hour a day. He told her “If you don’t walk, your muscles will become useless and you will be in that wheelchair for the rest of your life. If you don’t use them, you will lose them.” He told her they would give her Ibuprofen for the pain.

She did as she was told and now even dances. I saw her a few years ago at a wedding of her granddaughter, my friend’s daughter and she was dancing with her husband. I asked how she was doing and she told me fine and almost never has pain, except now and then.
 
Well, CarolfromTx, if you want to drive and the car is just sitting in the driveway; what's stopping you from going for a spin. He can ride shot gun, or watch TV. You don't want to be one of those little old ladies, who can't drive over 15mph.
 
charry said:
i started the engine, BUT , i never knew how to put the lights on, the wipers on or even open the windows .......:eek::unsure:
Click to expand...
I know, right? I'd had my car for a couple of years but had never had to use the hazard lights (flashing lights).

When I drove across Canada and back, I wanted to use them a couple of times. I felt around on the steering column but couldn't find that little button that you pulled out. The one that says "hazard." At one point I even crawled around in the footwell, so I could search from all angles.

After having driven several thousand miles, I finally looked in the manual. The hazard button was a triangle on the radio. A triangle!
Emergency-faster-light-scaled.jpg
 

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