A lady "felt sorry for me" because I don't have grandchildren !

Toomuchstuff

Toomuchstuff

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Location
Wisconsin
I was among ladies talking ( actually bragging ) about their grandkids ..... when one lady turned to me and said "I feel so sorry for you that you don't have grandkids, you're missing out on so much " . I had that look of astonishment on my face .....HUH ? You feel sorry for me ???? :confused:

I bit my tongue ! My only son is 42 and his S.O. is 50 and has 3 kids that graduated college. No little kids in future ! There's no way I feel sorry for myself ! I'm happy, living my life , grateful for everything I have and I feel like I'm not missing out on anything. Just because something in someone's life is important to them , doesn't mean it's important to me . Do you agree ?
 

Yes, I do agree with you, Too much stuff. It was an insensitive thing to say. Apparently, she didn't stop to think before she spoke.
That's like people who tell others that have an only child, that it is an unfair thing that they don't have siblings or when a couple gets married and someone asks right away when they are planning on having children. It's like, mind your own business and keep your comments to yourself. Like you said, what's important to one person may not be to another.
 
Had a similar conversation many years ago. Someone asked how many kids I had, and I said I did not have any. Her response was to say something like "Really? But who will take care of you when you are older?". Really? Like a child's only purpose in life is to take care of their elderly parents? If that is the only reason some people have children I feel sorry for them.
I do not regret not having chosen to reproduce. I never felt I was good parent material. And I figure, what the heck----I will always have my nieces and nephew to sneak vodka into my nursing home room for me. LOL
 

I agree Toomuchstuff, I don't have any children, so I don't have grandchildren. I can appreciate the love and happiness that grandparents experience with their grandkids, but it's no reason to feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have them. Our lives are all unique, so are the things (or people) we have that bring us joy.
 
Geez Marie, it's unbelievable what people will say. I think that's odd that someone would prioritize having a child so they can take care of you when you older. Geez Louise:rolleyes:
 
Yep I've had both of these things said to me on many occasions..As a mother of an only child it was said to me more times than I care to count..how selfish I was and much more... ...My daughter has chosen not to have children and never has any intention of having any, particularly now she's in her 40's and devotes her life to caring for other people's animals.. ...


I will never have grandchildren...my current husband didn't have kids in his previous marriage so I don't have any step children..


That's not to say I wouldn't have wanted more children, (as it happens I had a son still born) ...nor that I would be unhappy to have grandchildren, but circumstances are as they are, and I'm very happy... I have a very lovely independent , very smart daughter who works hard and is a credit to me in every way possible ..., and a very large family of siblings and nephews and nieces... nothing for other people to feel sorry for me, or to make me feel guilty about!!
 
That's invasive and downright nosy. I can't imagine having an opinion on anyone else's childbearing decisions, and none of us knows if someone chose not to procreate or they were unable.

I never would have chosen to have children, and that's what I said from the time I was an adolescent. Birth control was not very effective when I was young and as a result I have a son, but I was the oldest daughter in a large family and I felt I had done more than enough child care by the time I grew up.

This is the kind of question to which I smile sweetly and ask, "Why would you ask that question?"
 
Geeze Louise! What a thing to say! NOBODY NEEDS children OR grandchildren !

Get a little pet instead. There are too many humans on this earth as it is AND MANY of them don't get enough to eat
on a daily basis. SHEEESH !
 
I also feel the remark/question is invasive and presumptuous. Just like asking someone "When are you going to get married?"

Good reply would have been: "That's a strange thing to say. There is nothing you need to feel sorry for me about."
 
Kind of on a different note, but when my dog was younger and before placing him on Thyroid meds, he was a little heavy, but through my eyes I didn't even notice his weight (meaning he got on meds to feel better, of course)he was or is just so special to me. Anyway, I would take him to the park all the time and almost every time, back then, someone would comment on how "fat" he was or " wow, he must eat alot...so finally, in my dog's defense, who I am very protective of, the very next time it happened, I looked them square in the eyes and said, "now isn't that funny you would have the nerve to say that about my precious dog but if I was standing here with a friend who was overweight you wouldn't have made that comment. She looked at me so stunned, but got my point across. No one messes with my dog!
 
I've always wondered why some people seem to believe they have a right to ask rude questions, or to insult our pets, us, or anything we hold dear.

I was anorexic when I was young. A woman came up to me one day when I was walking back to my office after lunch and said, "I've always wondered why you're so skinny."

I looked at her and said, "That's funny, because I've always wondered why you're so fat."

Rude people deserve to be treated rudely.
 
I have 3 daughters and a son but none of them have children. They talk about it, and sometimes ask me if I wish I had grandkids. I always tell them that if I did, I'd be happy but if I didn't I wouldn't miss it. Whatever God wants, kids or no, works for me.
 
Lots of people here don't have grandkids. Myself included. Of course you're a complete person. Others here have expressed it so much better than I. People don't think before they speak and sometimes hurt others in the process. It's them I feel sorry for. Not those without grandchildren. Peace - Chic.
 
No kids or grandkids here either. Someone once said something similar to me and I replied that Unpaid Babysitter was not on my job resume.
 
Toomuchstuff said:
I was among ladies talking ( actually bragging ) about their grandkids ..... when one lady turned to me and said "I feel so sorry for you that you don't have grandkids, you're missing out on so much " . I had that look of astonishment on my face .....HUH ? You feel sorry for me ???? :confused:

I bit my tongue ! My only son is 42 and his S.O. is 50 and has 3 kids that graduated college. No little kids in future ! There's no way I feel sorry for myself ! I'm happy, living my life , grateful for everything I have and I feel like I'm not missing out on anything. Just because something in someone's life is important to them , doesn't mean it's important to me . Do you agree ?
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Agree completely , I get the same thing about [children] as i have none. There are just so many folks that feel compelled to impose their way of life & how to live it on others. And some of them just cannot imagine how [we] can live happily in any way that differs from what they see as correct.

They are the ones {I} feel sorry for.
 
Over the years i have heard a 'handful' of times that.......back in the day many folks had children merely for the purpose of help working the family farm, and keeping it going after 'mom&dad' passed on? And yes I also have heard the statement eluding to their 'duty' of caring for the parents in their time of need [aging]. Either / or, pretty damn sad IMO.
 
We have no grandchildren and never will (girls now too old). I think if someone said that to me I’d come back with some rude crappy comment, it’s no ones business.
 

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