A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two women

[Bretrick]

along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one woman, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor women replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a husband and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor women he stated, "You come with us also." The second woman, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a husband and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the stretched limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"

 

[officerripley]

Reminds me of this one:

4 men--a religious leader, a medical doctor, a politician, and an attorney--had known each other and played golf together for years. One day while they were playing golf, their play was really slowed down by the 4 young men playing in front of them. The young men almost acted drunk, falling down and stumbling a little. When the older foursome finally got done with their game, they complained to the golf course manager about it. The manager explained, "Oh, those 4 young guys? Remember that fire we had here in the maintenance building last year? Those guys were the firefighters who responded, put the fire out, and saved the whole course. However, because of the fumes, they were legally blinded so we let them play for free whenever they want to."

Silence and then the religious leader says, "Oh, those poor brave young men! I'll have my whole congregation pray for them!" The MD says "I'll see if there are any experimental surgeries that might help to restore some of their sight." The politician says "I'll see if there are any government grants that might help pay for experimental surgeries." Silence while the other 3 stare at the attorney who says, "What are you all looking at me for? Why can't those guys just play at night?"