Aging parents. Depression? Something else?

StarSong said:
How long ago did they move nearby?
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Mid May 2020....but many of the issues were going on before they moved. Don’t want to lay blame totally on move.
 

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Appreciate the responses.

Its a bit difficult. I can suggest talking to someone....but she’s not a doctor person. I’ll tell you, bad knee for 10 years. No interest in surgery. Can no longer be drained. Doctor told her it’s not a big deal....some surgical scraping and light rehab. Nope. No. Doctor was annoyed, feels he can alleviate knee issues without much cause for concern. Nope.

Will suggest some minor stuff to get her out a bit beyond food and drug store. I don’t care how old you are....I think some fun stimulation is needed. I don’t know...will suggest board games here, maybe some cards. Get off the TV. There’s no grandkids....which might keep her going. I can do so much.

A dog might be a good idea...but I don’t want to just band aid a problem. Then the dog suffers.

She’s driven herself into a funk thru a combination of decisions that lead her into a sedentary existence....and by sedentary, I mean virtually do nothing.
 
fancicoffee13 said:
Have you talked to your doctor/health advisor about what to do? Really declining health decisions. But, then they are not facing it, you might say.
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She likely needs to talk to someone, maybe get on a little bit of medication? Easier said than done.
 

JT72 said:
Appreciate the responses.

Its a bit difficult. I can suggest talking to someone....but she’s not a doctor person. I’ll tell you, bad knee for 10 years. No interest in surgery. Can no longer be drained. Doctor told her it’s not a big deal....some surgical scraping and light rehab. Nope. No. Doctor was annoyed, feels he can alleviate knee issues without much cause for concern. Nope.

Will suggest some minor stuff to get her out a bit beyond food and drug store. I don’t care how old you are....I think some fun stimulation is needed. I don’t know...will suggest board games here, maybe some cards. Get off the TV. There’s no grandkids....which might keep her going. I can do so much.

A dog might be a good idea...but I don’t want to just band aid a problem. Then the dog suffers.

She’s driven herself into a funk thru a combination of decisions that lead her into a sedentary existence....and by sedentary, I mean virtually do nothing.
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IMO a dog is a very bad ideal, don’t do it! Dogs are easy to trip over, if they don’t have animals now and are not used to animals don’t add any. If you can not take care of yourself, you can’t care for a dog. Would you give your parents a newborn baby to care for? I think not.
 
Some people just get old and tired. They feel that they have done what they were put here to do. They think their life is complete and they are satisfied with how everything turned out. They just want to turn the page and go to the next chapter in their life.

Not long ago, someone here asked the question, “Do you want to live forever?” I don’t think there were any takers.
 
Aneeda72 said:
IMO a dog is a very bad ideal, don’t do it! Dogs are easy to trip over, if they don’t have animals now and are not used to animals don’t add any. If you can not take care of yourself, you can’t care for a dog. Would you give your parents a newborn baby to care for? I think not.
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It is a real good idea to get the person up and active, not doing anything. But, finding a way to do it is hard. Getting out and going for a drive is what my Dad used to do for Mom, going to a senior center is what I chose to do. I could hardly wait to retire, then there was nothing to do. So, I chose to volunteer and do the senior center. Yes, pets is a bad idea. Getting someone to do something when they are used to not doing anything is very hard. Can you take her places, get her out of the house?
 
fancicoffee13 said:
It is a real good idea to get the person up and active, not doing anything. But, finding a way to do it is hard. Getting out and going for a drive is what my Dad used to do for Mom, going to a senior center is what I chose to do. I could hardly wait to retire, then there was nothing to do. So, I chose to volunteer and do the senior center. Yes, pets is a bad idea. Getting someone to do something when they are used to not doing anything is very hard. Can you take her places, get her out of the house?
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Senior centers still closed here
 
Unless your mother is legally incompetent, it is still her decision whether to go to the doctor or not. And it's still her life to live as she wishes. I would have a fit if someone was trying to force me to socialize more than I wanted to, especially now in the age of covid. It is deadly dangerous to do a lot of socializing now, especially more so at your parents' ages. I think you need to be careful of driving a wedge in your relationship that can't be fixed.
 
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