Agree with Ashleigh Banfield (HLN) - this accusation is BS

911 said:
I know that rape is not an issue here, but I did find the two articles that I read interesting reading to say the least. As for any legal ramifications, it all depends on how the state's laws are written. I am not an authority on law, but IMPO, I really doubt if she has a claim of rape, statutory or otherwise, under any of our 50 state's laws. It sounds to me like both of them were making some bad choices as the night progressed. Maybe she should have been reading his cues and gotten the hell out of there.

I am still questioning as to why she just did not leave, if she was having feelings of being mistreated, or was feeling compelled to follow the man's directions. I have to agree that it was probably a date gone wrong, maybe on both sides. These two probably should should not have ever hooked up to begin with.

As for his being on women's side when it comes to being forced to perform against their will or being harassed and writing a book, etc., I have come to learn in my profession that some people are not who they pretend to be. I have sat and interviewed murderers that could charm you into making you believe that they are as gracious as Robert Young in the old TV series, "Father Knows Best", all the while he was being charged with killing his family.
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I respect your opinion on this and my feeling is there is sometimes a lot of grey area in what is rape and what isn't. Like being under the influence of something where one may voluntarily, or at least not object, and then have buyer's remorse later. Or someone not being mentally sharp enough to realize what is going on and where that is leading. I suspect you could come up with quite a list of grey area situations. Sometimes you need to look at the details and from more than one person's perspective.
 

I also find it interesting that the date took place in September, and in January the woman is watching the Golden Globes and sees that Aziz won an award, so she suddenly decides that's a good time to go public with her story. Hmmmm.
 
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applecruncher said:
I still say this sounds like no more than a bad date that didn't meet her expectations.

There is no workplace context or professional relationship here.

She could have ended the date after dinner and refused to go to his apartment.

Yes, (according to her account) he sounds a bit pushy, but if her non-verbal cues included mutual, consentual oral sex then I could see how he wouldn't get the message she is saying she tried to convey. I think the whole #metoo movement is great and about time, but let's get real, this was nothing close to assault.

This basically cheapens the whole #metoo movement to the point where women everywhere can just cry foul whenever they have morning-after regret over a poor choice. Now, if he had pushed himself on her after she said no, then yes, assault. It just sounds like he was being rather selfish but he had no problem calling her a cab, and he didn't try to block her from leaving at any point. They had both been drinking and no one is on their best behavior when that happens. I honestly feel kind of sorry for him because it really just sounds like she wanted revenge and to ruin his reputation when he didn't behave like the perfect gentleman she was envisioning. Her account is pretty graphic and embarrassing and now any future date he ends up having will have those details in mind. Considering he didn't intend to hurt her but was simply selfish, obtuse, and a bad lover, that's pretty brutal. The part at the beginning of her story where she complained about the color of the wine she was offered then took a picture and posted it pretty much set the tone as to the type of person she is. I mean, WTH was that?​
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I agree with everything you said. I'm so glad I'm not in the public eye. Sounds like a bad case of dirty laundry.
I am glad that the real harrassment and other allegations are finally coming to light though.
 

applecruncher said:
I still say this sounds like no more than a bad date that didn't meet her expectations.

There is no workplace context or professional relationship here.

She could have ended the date after dinner and refused to go to his apartment.

Yes, (according to her account) he sounds a bit pushy, but if her non-verbal cues included mutual, consentual oral sex then I could see how he wouldn't get the message she is saying she tried to convey. I think the whole #metoo movement is great and about time, but let's get real, this was nothing close to assault.

This basically cheapens the whole #metoo movement to the point where women everywhere can just cry foul whenever they have morning-after regret over a poor choice. Now, if he had pushed himself on her after she said no, then yes, assault. It just sounds like he was being rather selfish but he had no problem calling her a cab, and he didn't try to block her from leaving at any point. They had both been drinking and no one is on their best behavior when that happens. I honestly feel kind of sorry for him because it really just sounds like she wanted revenge and to ruin his reputation when he didn't behave like the perfect gentleman she was envisioning. Her account is pretty graphic and embarrassing and now any future date he ends up having will have those details in mind. Considering he didn't intend to hurt her but was simply selfish, obtuse, and a bad lover, that's pretty brutal. The part at the beginning of her story where she complained about the color of the wine she was offered then took a picture and posted it pretty much set the tone as to the type of person she is. I mean, WTH was that?​
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You're right it's nothing but a bad date and part her fault for doing things with him sexually if she was so uncomfortable. Females like her do cheapen the me too movement and the women with legitimate cases. She's a coward hiding behind a false name and vengeful and selfish
 
I'm sorry but either this young woman is incredibly stupid or she is lying/exaggerating the situation. If you say "no" and sound like you mean it, most young men will back off. Going up to the apartment of a male you don't know well is pretty stupid also. Young women need to use a little common sense. Don't place yourself in a position where you are vulnerable if you date is a Mr. Hyde. We have not yet (if we ever will) reached a point . where all men respect women and can be trusted. Be smart!
 
Butterfly said:
I agree with you, Applecruncher. From what I have read about this incident, it certainly doesn't fall into what the MeToo people are trying to shed light on. It was a date that went bad -- and as to nonverbal cues, I prefer verbal ones such as "NO!" Besides which, if she participated in mutual unforced oral sex, which she admits she did, that appears to me to be a nonverbal cue that it's OK. This one is horsepuckey.
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I always found that, as a "nonverbal cue", a swift knee to the gonads worked just fine. No problem with interpretation there.
 
applecruncher said:
Oh, brother. :rolleyes:

The writer behind the Aziz Ansari "sexual misconduct" story strikes back at HLN's Ashleigh Banfield and includes a snotty comment about her age (Ashleigh is 50):

http://www.businessinsider.com/aziz-ansari-writer-email-to-hln-ashleigh-banfield-2018-1
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A Katie Way.

Ashley will not break the back of the me too movement. False claims, misunderstandings, procrastinating accusers, lack of evidence etc will slow the movement. No one under 45 has heard of her-LOL. This does show what her generation expects or even demands of their peers & public when it comes to causes or people they advocate for. It's either-or, black & white. Nothing dare not fall in between or not go their way.
 
Wouldn't it be something if her real name/identity would somehow get "leaked"? ​
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Instead of bad dates, she'd have no dates. Guys would avoid her like the plague.

The anonymous 'Grace' woman should be grateful that Aziz or his friends haven't struck back.
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There are so many grey areas in this issue - not to mention a segment of men who actually believe they have a perfect right to do things just short of actual rape. Some even manage to convince themselves that women like it. Some are actually angry that women are speaking up about it and condemning these actions
 
Dragonlady said:
There are so many grey areas in this issue - not to mention a segment of men who actually believe they have a perfect right to do things just short of actual rape. Some even manage to convince themselves that women like it. Some are actually angry that women are speaking up about it and condemning these actions
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I don't see any grey areas in this case.

You say some men think this and some men think that and some men are angry about women speaking up. Using your logic: some women falsely accuse men of rape/assault, some women get angry when they're rejected or when things don't go exactly the way they want, some women (fill in the blank).

btw I'm female, and I still say she is full of it.
 
applecruncher said:
I don't see any grey areas in this case.

You say some men think this and some men think that and some men are angry about women speaking up. Using your logic: some women falsely accuse men of rape/assault, some women get angry when they're rejected or when things don't go exactly the way they want, some women (fill in the blank).

btw I'm female, and I still say she is full of it.
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I don't believe I even hinted that she wasn't. My comment was an attempt to illustrate some of the difficulty in dealing with this issue .

My previous post - not exactly sympathetic to this particular individual

I'm sorry but either this young woman is incredibly stupid or she is lying/exaggerating the situation. If you say "no" and sound like you mean it, most young men will back off. Going up to the apartment of a male you don't know well is pretty stupid also. Young women need to use a little common sense. Don't place yourself in a position where you are vulnerable if you date is a Mr. Hyde. We have not yet (if we ever will) reached a point . where all men respect women and can be trusted. Be smart! -
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