Allowing Help Into The Home

M

MissRJ

Member
Location
USA
There are multiple issues or things going on.
At this point, I am again re-visitng the subject of help in the home.
The questions are:
What kind of help?
Is help in the home a possible solution?
Would help in the home begin to make things better?

At this time, mom is not user friendly to the subject of allowing help in the home.
How can I bring help into the home, if mom will not cooperate?
Someone told me, that I just have to go around mom.
Money is not the only problem.
 

MissRJ said:
There are multiple issues or things going on.
At this point, I am again re-visitng the subject of help in the home.
The questions are:
What kind of help?
Is help in the home a possible solution?
Would help in the home begin to make things better?

At this time, mom is not user friendly to the subject of allowing help in the home.
How can I bring help into the home, if mom will not cooperate?
Someone told me, that I just have to go around mom.
Money is not the only problem.
Click to expand...
IMO, help in the home is usually a great thing!
By "mom", I assume you mean your own mother.
If the house is dirty, bring in the help no matter what she says.
You go into the house first. Then, when the helper knocks, you let her in.

Good luck.
 
RadishRose said:
IMO, help in the home is usually a great thing!
By "mom", I assume you mean your own mother.
If the house is dirty, bring in the help no matter what she says.
You go into the house first. Then, when the helper knocks, you let her in.

Good luck.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your reply.

My mother and I live in the same house.
Whether it is house cleaning or aging in place help my mother has said no.
Money is one issue.
 

I have had a woman helps me clean. I am not a naturally clean housekeeper. My sister is naturally very neat and clean around the house. When we were growing up, she and I shared a bedroom. Her half of the room was neat and tidy, and my half was a mess, with clothes lying all around. In those days, my sister drew an imaginary line between her half of the bedroom, and my half, and she ordered me never to put even one toe of one sock over the line!

I am now with the third helper. The first two worked for me for many years, one, then the other. I have been very fortunate. Each of the women who has worked for me and I became good friends. My present house cleaner also helps me keep my place organized, and she is good at finding things I can not find around the house. The first woman who cleaned for me had a 3x5 card on a bulletin board, so that is how I found her. The other two, I found on local craigs list.

The very first person who helped me was through Medicaid. That later ended because Medicaid would no longer pay a home helper. My place back then, years and years ago, was a disaster. There were 7 boxes of paperwork, and it took the two of us two years to go through all that.

It makes me nervous and upset not to have a neat apartment, so a cleaning woman is a necessity for me.
 
MissRJ said:
There are multiple issues or things going on.
At this point, I am again re-visitng the subject of help in the home.
The questions are:
What kind of help?
Is help in the home a possible solution?
Would help in the home begin to make things better?

At this time, mom is not user friendly to the subject of allowing help in the home.
How can I bring help into the home, if mom will not cooperate?
Someone told me, that I just have to go around mom.
Money is not the only problem.
Click to expand...
My advice is to research reputable home health care organizations. I found "eldercare.com" to be a valuable resource. I hired a home health care company to have someone spend a few hours a day with my elderly mother to make sure she was okay and was taking her meds. She was a fall risk, so it was nice to know someone would check in on her every day.

Yes, she complained that "so and so" would spend their time on the couch and not do anything and eventually she stopped letting home health workers in, so I had to end home health care. Assisted living was the only option.
 
@Stringalong You need to set it up in your account Preferences.

Top right corner where your Avatar Name is, click that. The box that comes up, click on Preferences.
Set what you want to do/happen. Here is an image of the setting to get emails when you start a post or comment on one. Check any of the boxes that you want or don't want.

notifications.jpg

Sorry @MissRJ , didn't mean to interrupt. Just wanted to help Stringalong
 
Do you need someone to come in every day (or 5 days a week)? I had respite care for my mom and it wasn't daily. We lived across the street from each other so I was over there daily but I had a heart condition that would make me very sick sometimes. Respite care helped. It was a free service. Maybe if possible to keep the help at a couple of days a week to start, she'd get used to the idea.
 
Updated on Tuesday, August 29,2023
I thank you for your replies.
When I first posted on Wednesday,August 16,2023 I was hoping and thinking that in-home help could be one possible answer.
Right now I do not know if in-home help is just one possible solution.
As I have stated before,mom is not user friendly to the subject of allowing help in the home.
Good in-home help or cleaning services cost money.
Money is one issue.
I do not know if I will be adding more content to this thread.
 
Last edited:
seadoug said:
My advice is to research reputable home health care organizations. I found "eldercare.com" to be a valuable resource. I hired a home health care company to have someone spend a few hours a day with my elderly mother to make sure she was okay and was taking her meds. She was a fall risk, so it was nice to know someone would check in on her every day.

Yes, she complained that "so and so" would spend their time on the couch and not do anything and eventually she stopped letting home health workers in, so I had to end home health care. Assisted living was the only option.
Click to expand...
Many years ago,we had in-home help that did not want to do very much.
They did not mind just sitting down and socializing with mom.
I learned that if you need house cleaning hire a house keeping service.
In-home help does not do any real cleaning.
 
Stringalong said:
......



The very first person who helped me was through Medicaid. That later ended because Medicaid would no longer pay a home helper. My place back then, years and years ago, was a disaster. There were 7 boxes of paperwork, and it took the two of us two years to go through all that.

....
Click to expand...
I think there has to be somekind of medical care involved. It could be as simple as a bp and o2 check, change bandages etc. I'm trying to get help for someone in their apartment but they won't help themselves and only wants to pay someone 15-20 dollars an hour in cash. Their BC will only cover in home nursing if prescribed by a doctor depending on the condition.

Would some kind of long term care insurance for assistance in private home and not facility cover light cleaning? One would assume keeping a person out of a staffed facility would save money all around.
 

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