Alone Time

Seeker

Seeker

Redneck Hillbilly
Location
Alabama
I crave it ,I want it..this retiring thing , this fixed income thing, is about to drive me crazy. Please don't get me wrong I LOVE my man and enjoy his company, but I so want my own time to just be ME. Am I alone in this? Am I not ready? Anyone feel the same? Been married for 40 years always on the go, slowing down is HARD.
 

Falcon said:
Good luck with that! I HATE to be alone.
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I don't want to be alone. I just need a little alone time. there is a difference. God know I do not want to be alone, there ya go I can't communicate what I mean.
 

We will be married 46 years in April. We still enjoy many things together but we both have to have our own time alone. We are homebodies so we don't have to be constantly going somewhere but I need my space. I have converted my daughters room into my women cave. The hubby crawls away in what we call the den,watching TV all day long while I'm in my cave sewing,coloring,painting, playing on the computer,reading,planning my garden or figuring out how I'm going to tear this house apart and redecorate. We both need a lot of personal space.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
We will be married 46 years in April. We still enjoy many things together but we both have to have our own time alone. We are homebodies so we don't have to be constantly going somewhere but I need my space. I have converted my daughters room into my women cave. The hubby crawls away in what we call the den,watching TV all day long while I'm in my cave sewing,coloring,painting, playing on the computer,reading,planning my garden or figuring out how I'm going to tear this house apart and redecorate. We both need a lot of personal space.
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Us too ,we have torn apart our kitchen, removed the island now we are working on redoing the floors, already decluttered everything! That was actually liberating decluttering but now that it is done what next? I do enjoy the company, we even still sing kareoke and have loads of fun. I just can't seem to find any alone time without worrying about what I need to be doing next.....Crazy I know but it is what it is.
 
Seeker - We are all entitled to some "private/alone" time as we deem appropriate. Some need a lot, some not so much. As long as you and the hubs can agree, it will enrich your life no end. It's true that some folks don't understand this. When my first wife was still living, she would sometimes take a week long vacation with a friend, and folks would act like it was odd - my comment was "we're happily married, but we are NOT joined at the hip.."
 
We've been married 41+ years and retired at the same time. Like Ruth, we're not connected at the hip all day, he does his thing and I do mine, although on most days we'll take a long walk in the park together with the dog. You just have to play it by ear and see what works for you Seeker. Slowing down wasn't hard at all for me personally, I worked hard all my adult life and was more than ready to stop punching the clock.

But, I have to say that I've talked to a couple of ladies in stores over the years (cashiers) who went back to work part time because they couldn't stand being at home every day with their husbands. For me, I don't think life at home with mine would ever be as bad as going out to work again.
 
You are far from alone. My husband and I found each other later in our adult life..we were both near 50 when we married. Anyway, I am retired, he still works, and I love having that time to myself during the day and am not entirely looking forward to his own retirement in a few months. But I am sure it will all work out.
 
I suppose that I do have alone time but when I get it I just am always thinking about what I should be doing. Like now my man is hunting he's in the tree stand but I'm cooking and trying to be on this site at the same time. So therefore I don't really feel like it's ME time because I'm worried about the cooking and what not...not really worried but don't feel like I can be freed of responsibilities. Oh my!
 
Seeker said:
I crave it ,I want it..this retiring thing , this fixed income thing, is about to drive me crazy. Please don't get me wrong I LOVE my man and enjoy his company, but I so want my own time to just be ME. Am I alone in this? Am I not ready? Anyone feel the same? Been married for 40 years always on the go, slowing down is HARD.
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Isn't that why bathrooms have doors?
 
I'm in the minority here,never been married. I've lived by myself for most of my adult life. Once in awhile,if close friends call to get together and I don't feel up to it,they make sure I'm not ill,they leave me be alone until I'm back to my bubbly self. I have a group of close friends which I consider my 'extended family' considering my siblings don't live here Sue
 
i enjoy being alone most of the time --i like talking on the phone for a few minutes a day but that doesnt always happen--i only go out when i have to --my son in law is here all day but that joker dont talk so i just stay busy crocheting or knitting or cleaning---when i do go out about once every 2 weeks i get what i need and come back home---
 
My DW and I get along pretty well, but since we are both retired we are in the house a lot together. I keep busy in my office, or out in the garage, she does her thing, and we also go to the gym together. All that togetherness sometimes gets me a little agitated for some reason, not sure why. So, I will go for a drive, sometimes a walk, meet my daughter or a friend for coffee, etc. It does wonders. But like Seeker, I really like complete time alone, with nothing to do if I don't want to do it. When she goes out for the afternoon with a friend shopping or something, it is very nice to just have the house to myself. After that, I am relaxed once again!
 
jujube said:
Ahhh, retirement......half the income and twice the husband.
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Uh, when we lived in civilization, I spent a couple weeks at home, laid off.
I kinda went to seed
Bathrobes are comfy
My lady started looking at me quizzically
I’d visually reply with my ‘Wut??’ look…while scratching
I never knew how irritating things like sitting across the table, ‘rattling that newspaper and making those flapping lip noises while sipping coffee’ could be
About the eleventh day she broke free and ran down the road
While she was gone, I decided to surprise her by re-arranging her kitchen for her
You know, to atone for becoming not much more than fallow


That might have been the final straw

I was given 'alone time'

went fishing
 
I have been a loner since I hit, around, sixteen. I always was a popular guy, always had friends, but needed a good deal of time alone. I like doing solo projects around my properties, I enjoy being in the trees, doing work up there, while enjoying the view. I spend about thirty to forty hours alone, on average, during the week, during waking hours. I like it that way. My life as a professional musician, for around thirty years, was paradoxical to my loner persona. I thrived onstage, worked a crowd as good as anyone in the biz, but I never mixed with audiences after gigs, unless it was to hustle a gal who caught my eye, from the stage. I've always had a "relationship" going on in my life, but even then, I need my alone time. Clingy women never had a chance, with me. I can't understand people who like being around other people when they're sick, either. I get into bed, read a book, eat like a horse, until I feel bored. Then I get up, box in front of the mirror saying, "Get the hell out of me, germs!" It works. Going further: I don't get those who die "surrounded by friends and loved ones." To me, that would be Hell, before I get there! I empathize with other species that slink off to find a dark place to die. That's the way I want to go, when my time comes.
 
You have to make your own alone time, whether it be going shopping by yourself, or to a movie, or to do anything you want to do and do it alone.

And to ask hubby to do the same. Too much togetherness is not always comfortable for some.
 
I like my alone time. Since I moved in with my daughters family...I find getting my alone time is evenmore important to me. I love the family...the kids...the dogs .....but when I've had enough family time I head for my bedroom.
Having medical issues at this time could have something to do with this. Hopefully when some if these issues are resolved I will be more sociable.
 
I am getting plenty of alone time. My hubby is still working and will be for awhile. I worked 41 years for the same company and retired last June. This doesn't count the years before this company and raising my daughter alone. I still have 2 boys living at home and they both work at part time jobs. Now that I have had time to myself and spring is around the corner?? I will be thinking of volunteering somewhere. My hubby spends too much time watching tv and I would rather be doing something (puttering in the garden, going for a walk, browsing in the stores, reading a good book, decluttering and getting rid of stuff I don't need or use anymore. There is so much to do.
 
I've been married for many years and retired for 26. My wife didn't work, was always at home and the daily ebb and flow of our lives has always taken care of this "problem"?? without need for discussion. We each had activities that we pursued over the years she with theater groups and I with a couple of (week-end) traveling auto racing teams. Nowadays we are less mobile but still seem to have no problems with alone time. Truthfully, as we've moved into our 80's I hate to think of a time, in the hear future, that alone time may be all that we have, although thankfully we have most of our family nearby.
 

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