Alone vs Lonely

L

Lexi

New Member
Location
USA
Someone I recently met had mentioned during conversations they may be “alone but were certainly not lonely. I thought that was great. But what are peoples thoughts when you aren’t alone but feel very lonely?
 

Lexi said:
Someone I recently met had mentioned during conversations they may be “alone but were certainly not lonely
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And some people are not alone but feel lonely. Depends on the person and who you are with. I have felt both ways, but generally am not lonely with or without company.
 

You can keep your wonderful to be lonely and free. Me, I think differently. I figure that all of us need someone in our lives to love and if we're half lucky they will love us back.

Sure, you can sit all day in your condo and watch those sports channels or soapers but at the end of the day you are still alone. Me, I like the human touch. If you are in a loving relationship with a nice person you really have "the world by the tail."

Whether you plan a trip, go walking outside, share a meal or watch a movie together, two together sure beats 1 alone. Tis wonderful to have a hand to hold, someone to talk to and someone to share dreams and ideas. Tis wonderful knowing that someone cares if your alive or dead!

Ok! This is suppose to be a democracy and you can do anything you want within the limits of the law. You want be alone? No problem! Me, I prefer someone I can whisper "sweet nothings" in her ear, put my arm around her, share feelings and dreams and just to know that there is someone in my life with common sense in this rather crazy, crazy world.
 
I'd rather be with the ideal woman for this person to share life with than alone. But as a senior unlike when I was a young adult, understand that is now less likely. So for years have learned to be happily content as it be, rarely feeling lonely. In this telecom, science era, it is far easier for a person of even modest means to be content, occupied, and just occasionally social than ever before. There are some that are rarely in social situations and tend to avoid such. I am not one of those. I usually enjoy being in large crowds or groups and given my strong voice and verbal skills am not afraid to make conversation.

It is each winter during ski season up at Tahoe ski resorts that I tend to meet lots of unknown others I can practice social skills with because as a solo skier, every lift ride up, one is randomly sitting next to A to Z others in life, rich to poor, young and old, celebrities and nobodies, citizens and foreigners, those interested in conversation and those preferring to be quiet.
 
re: Lexis post #1: I like the freedom/independence from living alone - I am an introvert and never feel lonely. The "key" for me is daily exercise - reason for having a dog - we walk 2 or 3 miles/day.

Home is the 4 bedroom family home with a self contained basement suite. The suite was the children's introduction to living alone (ie no raiding my fridge, cook own meals and monthly inspection by the Police - ie Mom). Now the suite is usually rented to an off-shore international university student, currently a PhD student from Mexico.

Daughter lives an hour away and both sons live in the UK. About every 3 months one of the sons or grandson will come to Canada.
 
At 88 I still live with my wife of 63 YEARS! My daughter and her husband and grandkids live right across the street. Plus, I have this great Dell PC where I play chess at Chess.com and Civilization VI at Steam.com. I spend most of my waking hours playing chess and Civilization VI.

If anyone is interested, I'd like to play MULTIPLAYER Civilization VI.
 
Even though you live with a significant other and/or have lots of friends, you can still experience an emptiness that causes you to feel lonely. Could be because you're retired so you don't have that 8 or so hours a day with your old work crew, or because your babies are all grown and moved on, or you had to close or sell the business you owned for decades. These things leave holes in your life no matter who you're spending it with.
 
Murrmurr said:
Even though you live with a significant other and/or have lots of friends, you can still experience an emptiness that causes you to feel lonely. Could be because you're retired so you don't have that 8 or so hours a day with your old work crew, or because your babies are all grown and moved on, or you had to close or sell the business you owned for decades. These things leave holes in your life no matter who you're spending it with.
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I agree that this is a big part of it.
 
I have been single for 37 years and despite several serious medical problems they have been the happiest years of my life. The last 10 my daughter,, grandson and great grandson have lived with me and though I love them dearly, I really cherish the times I have the house to myself. I spent a lot of time alone as a child so it's not something that bothers me.
 
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I still think every woman needs a man and every man needs a woman. Keep looking until you find one. You can check out your proposed mate at Instant Checkmate on the web.
 
I've been single my whole life. Being part of a couple seems to be a path in life that I bypassed so long ago that it's unimaginable for me now. But I can manage the friendship zone.......rarely. There have been three friends, two of whom live some distance away but with whom I still correspond regularly.....online and via old fashioned hand written letters. The third friend disappeared.
OK, I'm alone a lot.....I know several acquaintances through volunteering and church and I know my neighbors, but not to the point of sharing confidences. I probably seem aloof to people. My point? I'm alone a lot but I'm not lonely. Actually, I'm not sure what the meaning of the word is. I suppose in the social life department the ship has sailed for me and I missed the boat.
 
Mitch86 said:
I still think every woman needs a man and every man needs a woman. Keep looking until you find one. You can check out your proposed mate at Instant Checkmate on the web.
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I think those who are with someone feel this way. They want others to be as happy as they are and that is a lovely quality. However, I believe everyone can find happiness with or without another. In fact I think it is very healthy and admirable when someone has become so acquainted and satisfied with life and who they are that they do not need others. They often will seek company but not out of need. I become energized when I interact with others but I have also learned to be energized and content by myself.
 
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