And Sometimes Retirement is Thrust Upon You . . . . . . . .

Uptosnuff

Active member
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Location
Omaha
Last month my husband found out he is no longer working. We were working at the same company, now only I am working there. (somewhat awkward) I won't go into the specifics but it was not a voluntary leave and it was not something we had planned. We had planned for us both to work another couple of years. So now, all of a sudden, he is retired, since he doesn't want the task of finding another job at his age - 60.

I find myself going back and forth between being happy for him that he doesn't have to go to the crappy job he hated any longer and being just a little resentful that I still have to work. Have any of you had a similar situation? How did you handle it?

We are doing ok financially with my salary and I need to stay at the company at least another year in order to transfer my medical benefits over when I do retire.

I guess that just goes to show you, that even in retirement planning, the best laid plans . . . . . . . .don't always work out.
 

Oldguy

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2018
Location
Tampa area
in the same boat...as your husband! No longer working and the wife is resentful just a tad. I'm getting stuff done around the house and she is always suggesting things for me to do (which I resent...I'm sorry, I did the dishes, washed the clothes, vacuumed, took the dogs down to the park, etc...and you want to tell me what to do?!?! Be happy I'm doing those things instead of out spending money on stuff we don't need or gambling, or drinking, or ...
 

Aunt Bea

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2016
Location
Near Mount Pilot
Maybe your husband just needs a little time to grieve and when he gets his feet under him he will look for something to do.

For me, the biggest issue with an early retirement was medical insurance after the COBRA period ended.

Good luck to both of you!!!
 

Uptosnuff

Active member
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Location
Omaha
Original Poster
in the same boat...as your husband! No longer working and the wife is resentful just a tad. I'm getting stuff done around the house and she is always suggesting things for me to do (which I resent...I'm sorry, I did the dishes, washed the clothes, vacuumed, took the dogs down to the park, etc...and you want to tell me what to do?!?! Be happy I'm doing those things instead of out spending money on stuff we don't need or gambling, or
drinking, or ...
Lol, my husband could have written that! Since we have an acreage, there is always work to be done. It's not like he's sitting around doing nothing. But, it is a big change and it will take time to get used to.
 

Ken N Tx

Older than Dirt !
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Location
Texas
Lol, my husband could have written that! Since we have an acreage, there is always work to be done. It's not like he's sitting around doing nothing. But, it is a big change and it will take time to get used to.
Hopefully he has medical insurance..
 

Uptosnuff

Active member
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Location
Omaha
Original Poster
Yes, he's on my medical insurance plan. That's why I have to keep working for at least one more year, so I will be retirement - eligible and my medical insurance will following me into retirement.
 

Tommy

Active member
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Location
New Hampshire
Happened to me when I was 57. All of the company's production was moved to China. It was a real shock. I felt sorry for myself, I got over it, went out and found another job and worked for another ten years.
 

OneEyedDiva

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Location
Nrw Jersey
I've read several articles about people who have had to retire earlier than expected due to health issues, downsizing or their companies closing shop. According to this article which I read Friday, 37% of Boomers and Seniors are forced into retirement. Unfortunately a lot of people, especially men I think, define themselves by their careers. I hope your husband can find something else to occupy his time and better yet, make some extra cash if he so desires. My late husband was self employed and even though he was semi retired, he still stayed very busy up until the time he became too sick to do so. I retired at 50 (of my own volition) at a time when he was still very much involved with his business, so my situation was different than yours.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/05/16/retirement-why-people-are-retiring-earlier-than-planned/39453355/
 

Uptosnuff

Active member
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Location
Omaha
Original Poster
Interesting findings of that article. I'm not surprised at the percentage forced to retire. I'm seeing that at my own company.

He has had quite a bit to do since he was forced out of work. We have rental houses and had two tenants in two different houses leave at the same time, so he has been getting the houses ready to re-rent. We also live on an acreage and there are a myriad of projects to do that have been neglected for ages.

No, I don't see him going back to work anytime soon. :)
 

Ronni

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 22, 2018
Location
Nashville TN
Damn. Lucky him!! I am resentful that I can't retire!!

Given the financial abuse of my ex, I'm going to have to work for quite a few years more before I can afford to retire. Ron could retire right now, with decent SS benefits, but mine are meager and even though we could live on his income, it would be absolutely no frills. And we do like our adventures!! He's still paying for the house so that and the insurance is a chunk out of his SS income. Otherwise we'd be comfortable being able to live on SS.
 

Manatee

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Location
Florida
I had a different experience. I was downsized at age 59. My wife no longer worked due to health problems. It was the tail end of a recession and the job market was cold as a tomb. Retirement was out of the question financially. After about 200 resumes and applications, I wound up as a temp in a factory. They made me a regular employee and I stuck it out for a few years. I made the last mortgage payment and gave notice that I was retiring the following Friday. Don't miss it.
 

Ruthanne

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2015
Location
USA
Last month my husband found out he is no longer working. We were working at the same company, now only I am working there. (somewhat awkward) I won't go into the specifics but it was not a voluntary leave and it was not something we had planned. We had planned for us both to work another couple of years. So now, all of a sudden, he is retired, since he doesn't want the task of finding another job at his age - 60.

I find myself going back and forth between being happy for him that he doesn't have to go to the crappy job he hated any longer and being just a little resentful that I still have to work. Have any of you had a similar situation? How did you handle it?

We are doing ok financially with my salary and I need to stay at the company at least another year in order to transfer my medical benefits over when I do retire.

I guess that just goes to show you, that even in retirement planning, the best laid plans . . . . . . . .don't always work out.
I did not retire volunteeringly either. It has been very hard to do this but part time work may be in order down the line for me. I'm sorry you have to go through such a tough situation with him not working and all the pressure on you. I would look at it as that I don't have a lot longer to work and the situation could have been reversed. Sorry if that seems inadequate but with my thinking now that's all I've come up with. I wish you all the best. :love_heart:
 

Uptosnuff

Active member
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Location
Omaha
Original Poster
I had a different experience. I was downsized at age 59. My wife no longer worked due to health problems. It was the tail end of a recession and the job market was cold as a tomb. Retirement was out of the question financially. After about 200 resumes and applications, I wound up as a temp in a factory. They made me a regular employee and I stuck it out for a few years. I made the last mortgage payment and gave notice that I was retiring the following Friday. Don't miss it.
I know exactly what you mean about the job market. My husband couldn't find a job either when he was laid off at 53. He had years of managerial experience in a variety of industries. He could not find a job either and had to take a security guard job at a power plant. He was there for 7 years when got the notice.
 

Uptosnuff

Active member
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Location
Omaha
Original Poster
Ruthanne, sorry about your situation. A lot of people are a lot worse off than I am. Part time work might not be all that bad. I did part time work a few times during my life, and rather enjoyed it. It got me out of the house, earning some money but I still had time to do what I needed with the house and such. I hope things end up working out well for you.
 

win231

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2019
Location
CA
in the same boat...as your husband! No longer working and the wife is resentful just a tad. I'm getting stuff done around the house and she is always suggesting things for me to do (which I resent...I'm sorry, I did the dishes, washed the clothes, vacuumed, took the dogs down to the park, etc...and you want to tell me what to do?!?! Be happy I'm doing those things instead of out spending money on stuff we don't need or gambling, or drinking, or ...
Misery loves company. That's where the resentment comes from.
 


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