Annoying bargaining when selling antiques

fuzzybuddy said:
When you go into Walmart to buy a pot, and the price is $7.99. At the register, you give the clerk $50 and walk out??????? No one wants to pay more than is necessary. The purpose of bartering is for the seller to get the best price, and for the buyer to get the least price. But if the seller isn't bartering, the seller must make that quite clear to the buyer that's it's buy or walk.
As far as 'antiques' go, the seller usually values them more than buyers do.
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I'd like to see you try to bargain at walmart.
 
I said something similar to a person that tried to get me to halve the price on something. "When you go into the grocery and see a can of kidney beans for $1.19, you don't take it to the checkout and say 'Would you take 59¢ for this?'" He replied, "You're talking about a completely different situation."
 

@debodun I'm sorry about some of the negativity your are getting. You have a right to bargain and to sell or not sell something at the price you want.

As far as the church people go, I believe you were willing to compensate them and still had trouble finding help. This is where reasonable services should be available for singles with no help. I don't think people realize how hard that can be. I do, I'm in the same situation. It's humiliating asking someone for rides for a day surgery, when you are otherwise independent. It's the MD office forcing you to have someone you supposedly know take you. It's all to protect them, it has nothing to do with the patient. No one enjoys doing that.
 
Deb, that woman was being ridiculous and I hate those kind of people. I always ask more than I want so I have room to negotiate.

Personally when I move I sell or give away everything I won’t be using in my new house. I have learned from moving 30 times that it’s not smart to take stuff that I can’t use. I also donated some items of value to a husky rescue for them to sell in their store. It depends on my mood what I do with stuff.

I have sold antiques and their value has declined considerably in the last 20 years because the younger people don’t collect items and refer to antiques as ugly brown furniture. I had a beautiful Eastlake walnut full size bed from 1860 in perfect condition with elaborate carving that took me 6 months to sell and I only got 250 for it. The least money I ever received for an antique was by putting it in an auction and I will never do that again.


A woman on Nextdoor asked for items for her apartment because she had been living in her car previously. She was willing to work for them such as cleaning, etc. I had a really cute hand painted side table with a lamp that I took to her that I didn’t have room for after I bought an apartment size washer that has to sit where the table was. Because she had nothing I gathered dishes, towels, a decent bedspread, etc. I was so proud of my community for helping.

She was beyond thrilled and I helped her carry the stuff and yes her apartment was empty so not a scam. Within a few days I am sure she had everything she needed from the offers I saw on Nextdoor.
 
I have an Eastlake wall mirror that I think my parents got at an auction in the 1970s when they were furnishing the old Victorian house I used to live in. Also a Federal style Bassett dresser. Absolutely no interest in the mirror even for $25 - it just needs resilvering or a new mirror. I did get a nibble on the dresser, but when the woman came to look at it and said she was going to paint it white, it was "deal off". Who could slap chalk paint on that beautiful mahogany?

eastlake mirror.jpgdresser1a.jpg
 
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Deb, the mirror is beautiful! My bed was maghanony and not walnut. Your post reminded me of that. Your dresser is pretty too. A friend of mine hand paints antiques she buys and because she’s an artist they end up beautiful. She never tells the seller what she is going to do because of a reaction like yours.
 
Hubs and I enjoy buying and selling antiques. But there's always that one person who thinks they are going to badger us. We have garage sales mostly. One time a guy, being a complete jerk, raised his voice to my husband and began waving his arms while holding the item when he could not get the price he wanted. I walked up to him and took the item and told him to leave. He protested until another guy stepped up and said he'd buy it for the asking price! Some people are just jerks!
 
I buy and sell tools. I sell at a open air flea market at a local flying field. All of my items are clearly marked with my "final lowest price " and I wear a hat that says " All cash sales, no cheques, no credit , no credit cards ". I still get idiots who try to "haggle with me ". By 4pm, when the day is almost over, I do offer a few "bargains " by reducing the prices by 15 percent. My target is to leave with a bag full of cash, and no tools. JImB.\
 
I know that a lot of people haggle, and that's great for them. However, I have zero negotiating skills. I've never haggled, even when I lived in Mexico. If I don't want to pay the stated price, I walk away.

In business, I didn't like it when some people tried to talk me down. My rates had been very carefully determined, for reasons that had nothing to do with their "labor of love" or how much business they could give me in the future.

I learned to just stand firm and not take it as a personal insult. You really have to know -- and have confidence in -- what your own priorities are. If I need a certain amount of money, whining and pressure aren't going to change my mind.

There was one exception. A grad student in a career course asked my editing rates, and I told her. She politely said she couldn't afford me, thank you, bye. This happened fairly often, but in her case I had a funny feeling. I said I'd do it for half price. It was not until the work was done, and she'd paid the agreed-upon price, that she told me her story. Her daughter had died and left her with 3 children to raise, and she was very grateful that I'd given her a break. Now she could graduate and pursue a career that would allow her to support her grandchildren.

I was glad I was able to help her. But I had no interest in listening to sob stories from people who already had large and secure incomes (unlike me).

As for stuff, I usually give it away.
 
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debodun said:
She was not one of the people that helped me. You are lumping everyone in the church into one group.
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You missed my point entirely.
Remy said:
As far as the church people go, I believe you were willing to compensate them and still had trouble finding help.
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Yes, gas and a meal. Which, if I recall, all turned down. What she'd asked of her church community was a gigantic favor. At great inconvenience to themselves, members of that community stepped up to help her.

Many times, when benefiting from such large favors by people who want/expect nothing in return, not even financial compensation, the lesson of open-handed generosity isn't lost on the recipient.

What if all of those church members had thought, "Why should I spend my whole day schlepping her around? She's never done anything for me. Now if it were MaryLou, Frances, or Jim, who shoveled my driveway when my husband was out of town and my back was hurting, watched my older kids when I was in the hospital giving birth to my youngest, lent me money when I was short, and so forth, that would be a different story...."

I really do like and enjoy you, Deb. You're bright, funny and direct. For your sake though, I wish you weren't quite so tightfisted. Giving freely to others without an expectation of tit for tat returns, is one of the greatest joys of the spirit one can experience.

With this incident you now have one (useless to you) jug back in your stash of wares. The $20 you could have gotten for it from that woman is a relative pittance to you, but it cost you the good will and possible friendship of a fellow church member. A person to chat with after services, but will now avoid you like the plague.

THAT was my point.
 
StarSong said:
You missed my point entirely.

Yes, gas and a meal. Which, if I recall, all turned down. What she'd asked of her church community was a gigantic favor. At great inconvenience to themselves, members of that community stepped up to help her.

Many times, when benefiting from such large favors by people who want/expect nothing in return, not even financial compensation, the lesson of open-handed generosity isn't lost on the recipient.

What if all of those church members had thought, "Why should I spend my whole day schlepping her around? She's never done anything for me. Now if it were MaryLou, Frances, or Jim, who shoveled my driveway when my husband was out of town and my back was hurting, watched my older kids when I was in the hospital giving birth to my youngest, lent me money when I was short, and so forth, that would be a different story...."

I really do like and enjoy you, Deb. You're bright, funny and direct. For your sake though, I wish you weren't quite so tightfisted. Giving freely to others without an expectation of tit for tat returns, is one of the greatest joys of the spirit one can experience.

With this incident you now have one (useless to you) jug back in your stash of wares. The $20 you could have gotten for it from that woman is a relative pittance to you, but it cost you the good will and possible friendship of a fellow church member. A person to chat with after services, but will now avoid you like the plague.

THAT was my point.
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So...you are only going to help someone if they then owe you. How is that 'without expectation'? (Huge contradiction) Sorry, can't get behind that. I'll help people just because I can, not for favors expected later.
 
I think we got off on a rabbit trail about haggling. The church woman didn't haggle, it was either I had to take $15 or change a $100 bill. She likely thought I'd accpet less rather than break her large bill and seemed disappointed when I could make change.
 
oldaunt said:
So...you are only going to help someone if they then owe you. How is that 'without expectation'? (Huge contradiction) Sorry, can't get behind that. I'll help people just because I can, not for favors expected later.
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I was saying that they didn't do that. They helped her despite not "owing her" and did so without expectation.

Good will toward others comes back to us whether we hope for it or not.
 
StarSong said:
With this incident you now have one (useless to you) jug back in your stash of wares.

THAT was my point.
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Good point.
I think in Deb's various posts she doesn't take into consideration people want a bargain. The value for me is in reading Deb's complaining & describing the various things she has encountered by people looking for a bargain. I kind of miss the entertaining posts she used to post about the deterioration of her previous home. Those cheap people looking for a bargain pale in comparison to her lack of spending money for upkeep on the house she inherited.
 
debodun said:
I told the people that helped me that since they wouldn't accept any offers I made to them, that I would make a donation to the church building fund in appreciation. I donated $900 to the church last year.
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You and I have different perspectives when it comes to generosity simply because the opportunity presents itself.

A couple of weeks ago I bought groceries for the woman in front of me. She was rifling through her purse and started to ask the clerk to take things off her bill (like milk). I realized she didn't have enough to pay for everything so I told the clerk to please just ring up everything and I'd pay for her groceries.

Believe me, I'm not bragging - it was under $10. The thing is, following through on my impulse meant something to the woman, to the clerk and to me. It was a moment to do something nice for someone who was stumbling a bit on life's path.

Plenty of people have been kind to me throughout life. Being generous (or not tightfisted) with others is one way to honor them.
 
A couple of things in my post was also that you can't have a day surgery (where they just give you the twilight meds, not full anesthesia) without the doctors office demanding that you have someone drive you to and from and 'say' they will stay with you. Again, all to protect them, no care for you or your situation. When I had cataract surgery, I most certainly understand I couldn't drive after. Everyone responds different. I thought I might be a little groggy. I was fine. They even tell you they will cancel your appointment if you show up without such a person. No cabs or Uber allowed. Now people ask yourself who would help you. If you know of a number of them, consider yourself lucky.

If the goodwill and friendship is based on the price someone can get for something, then what kind of friendship is that.

When I had covid, no one offered to help me feed the cats at work. People don't seem to volunteer a lot of goodwill. They seem to have time and money for everything else. At my workplace it seems to be standing around sucking up cigarettes.
 
StarSong said:
I was saying that they didn't do that. They helped her despite not "owing her" and did so without expectation.

Good will toward others comes back to us whether we hope for it or not.
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StarSong said:
It wasn't your "fault" it was your opportunity to learn about open-handed generosity.
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I don't think good will does come back to others.

I'm not sure I understand your second comment here.
 

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