Anxiety

Patnono

Member
Location
Whittier,Ca
I've written before that I suffer from anxiety, for any of you who suffer from it, how do you deal with it when it comes to friends and family?
I try not to speak to anyone about what I'm going through nor do they want to hear anything.
I feel so alone and hopeless. Thanks for reading
 

I've written before that I suffer from anxiety, for any of you who suffer from it, how do you deal with it when it comes to friends and family?
I try not to speak to anyone about what I'm going through nor do they want to hear anything.
I feel so alone and hopeless. Thanks for reading

Can you give an example..are you in a constant state of anxiety or situations. Your age, are you a senior, I'm assuming that since this is senior forum.
 
I'm 63 and I keep thinking somethings going to go Wrong??? Overthinking something that may not happen? Everyday I wake up feeling sick. Trying to distract myself and trying to convince myself everything's going to be fine.
 

I'm 63 and I keep thinking somethings going to go Wrong??? Overthinking something that may not happen? Everyday I wake up feeling sick. Trying to distract myself and trying to convince myself everything's going to be fine.

Well, you have to change your thinking. Have you ever looked into talk therapy...that could help a lot on a short term basis. Or even with a person to check in with now and then.

There is SO MUCH we cannot control and stuff happens. I have done some worrying in my life and I'll be 80 soon, but everything works out one way or another. If some thing happens that is not positive, then we deal with it. Life is good and the universe wants us to have a good life. I'm not a fan of anti depressants and when I felt very low for 10 yrs in my life, I found it was a sluggish thyroid...have you had a thorough work done on the thyroid...it is so missed by SO MANY medical doctors. Your issues are a depression and I would look hard at the thyroid if you have not. I think I was 63 when I finally got on thyroid support after struggling for 10 long years.

And our medical world puts us in a box of numbers, but we are a lot of symptoms and sluggish thyroid causes so so so many health issues.
 
Thanks for writing, IAM in therapy and taking medication which I don't think is helping me except to sleep.
And have been trying to change my mindset. Its easier said than done? I don't believe my thyroid has been checked? I will be seeing a new doctor and will bring it up to him. I'm trying to take things one day at a time. Because of my anxiety it's hard to get people to do things with? They assume I'm going to burden them with it? I make an extra effort to Not bring it up, but pretend to be HAPPY ��
 
I don't understand all your question marks. Are you asking us or telling us?

Anyway, maybe group therapy would be good for you and if you're already doing that, give it a little more time.

Best of luck.
 
I don't understand all your question marks. Are you asking us or telling us?

Anyway, maybe group therapy would be good for you and if you're already doing that, give it a little more time.

Best of luck.
I think the forum software is making those question marks. If you quote Pat's last post, you will see a smilie there where the question marks appear on the forum post.
 
Thanks for writing, IAM in therapy and taking medication which I don't think is helping me except to sleep.
And have been trying to change my mindset. Its easier said than done? I don't believe my thyroid has been checked? I will be seeing a new doctor and will bring it up to him. I'm trying to take things one day at a time. Because of my anxiety it's hard to get people to do things with? They assume I'm going to burden them with it? I make an extra effort to Not bring it up, but pretend to be HAPPY ��

If the medication is helping you sleep then it is working. It would be much worse if you couldn't get a decent rest.

If you can't get others to do things with you do things yourself. Go bike riding. Go fishing. Go golfing. Anything to get your mind away.
 
Actually the sleep meds aren't working as well as they did at first, I do go out on my own sometimes. But it's that I'am being deliberately isolated is what's hurtful. I just want my mind to stop Racing and get away from the negative thoughts. Please don't say to just think positive thoughts, distract myself or take deep breaths? I've done many different things. I've begun having headaches from the pressure. I worry about everybody but myself is my BIG problem, it's just what others do always involves ME? Thanks for your support.
 
I hate anxiety and have had it pretty much all my life.
It helps when I eat healthier.
If I wake up and can't sleep I don't lay there. I read or do something until my mind is off whatever it was and I'm sleepy again.
If something happens I try not to anticipate all the scenarios beforehand. I wait for a response then react to it.
Exercise helps tremendously.
Hope some of this helps Patnono.
 
Actually the sleep meds aren't working as well as they did at first, I do go out on my own sometimes. But it's that I'am being deliberately isolated is what's hurtful. I just want my mind to stop Racing and get away from the negative thoughts. Please don't say to just think positive thoughts, distract myself or take deep breaths? I've done many different things. I've begun having headaches from the pressure. I worry about everybody but myself is my BIG problem, it's just what others do always involves ME? Thanks for your support.

I had it myself. I know what you are talking about.
 
Oh boy! Yes I suffer from anxiety and have done so most of my life.


How do I deal with it when it comes to friends and family? The best I can. My friends and family know I have mental disorders so there isn’t any hiding this from them. In my opinion, I don’t think it’s a good idea to hide it .
You should be yourself and if that means you aren’t happy in the moment, then so be it.


Prescription drugs take a while to fully work properly but you can’t go off them cold turkey or they can really do some weird things to the brain. If they are helping you sleep, then they are helping you out some like Camper said. I can’t personally take antidepressants as most make my symptoms worse but that’s mainly due to the complexity of my disorders so I have to deal with the depression the best I can naturally.


One thing you should remind yourself as often as you can is that you are FAR from being alone. There are so many others in your situation, that you’d be shocked. This should bring you some comfort. In fact most people have some type of mental disorder. Even depression is a mental disorder. It’s not merely a mood of being sad.


One thing that I find helpful when I’m going through this is to try ‘not’ to change how I feel but to merely accept it. It’s natural to automatically want to change things that we don’t like , as if it’s just all wrong but is it? Accepting what is will actually relieve some of your stress. It’s ok to be depressed. It’s ok to be anxious. It’s ok to not feel perfect.


Another thing I found extremely helpful was to just do one thing at a time. When anxious it’s natural to have too many thoughts going on in our head and it can make our anxiety worse. We also tend to try and do too many things at once and end up getting nothing done.
Get a notebook and prioritize your day. Write down the most important things you need to do in that one day and focus on just those things. Make yourself do something, for the simple sake of doing something. When your mind drifts off, bring it back to what you are doing and try and focus on just that. It’s difficult but this may prevent you from going into a full blown depression.


Another very helpful thing I found was to use a ‘gratitude’ journal. Everyday write down all the things that you are thankful for from the sun rising to the new flowers you have popping up in your garden.
Finding gratitude in your life helps keep the negativity at bay. It’s sometimes difficult to see the beauty in life when anxious.


Pamper yourself. Treat yourself like you are the most important person in the world because in your life you should be. Whenever negative self judgement comes creeping in, shine a light on all the positive things about yourself that you are proud of. Write them down. When you make yourself a meal, sit down and eat it slowly and enjoy every single bite. Listen to music that makes you happy. Wear something that brightens your day. Smile at yourself in the mirror often and tell yourself that you are a good person.


If you have a habit of telling yourself bad things that affect your day in a negative way then wear an elastic band around your wrist and give it a snap to remind yourself that you are doing it. Sometimes we can get into a pattern of negative self talk that we aren’t aware of. Don’t turn this habit into self torture though. It’s meant to merely make you aware of a negative pattern, not to cause injury.


Research any available free services that you can call. Here in Canada we have free mental help phone lines that you can call if you are feeling extra stressed or depressed. Sometimes it’s good to speak to someone who doesn’t know us but is trained to understand our particular disorders which can be comforting.


Limit sugar, caffeine, alcohol and junk food. These will make you feel worse. Try and eat as healthy as you can.


Pick some flowers or buy yourself some flowers. I noticed from your profile that you are female. Being female myself I find the act of picking flowers or just having a nice smelling bouquet around adds pleasure to my day. It reminds me that I’m worthy of nice things. :flowers:


You also love dogs. Do you have one?
Dogs live in the present moment and will help you live in the present moment also.
Taking your dog for a walk everyday or merely just talking or playing with your dog can help relieve daily stress plus exercise is good for relieving stress.
If you don’t have a dog maybe you can ask to take your neighbours dog or rent one. :laugh: Ok I’m just improvising with the humour but exercise and humour helps greatly.


Try and establish a daily structured routine. A regular routine is healthy for us.
It will help you organize and establish your days one day at a day. Get up at the same time everyday and go to bed at the same time everyday.


You like doing crafts. Pick one simple craft and do some of it for a limited time each day to help establish a routine. Listen to your favourite music, try not to listen to music that either makes you sad or too anxious. Pick soothing music that perks you up.


As far as friends and family go; my best advice to you is to TELL THEM! You don’t need to pretend with anyone. If these are truly friends and family members that love you, then let them love the real you. You aren’t doing yourself any favours by pretending to be someone you’re not and as a friend they should be happy that you are honest enough to truly be genuine.


Anxiety is tough at times but there are things that help and please know that you are never alone. If you’d like to pm me to talk some more about this then please feel free to do so.


Smile now and have a good day. :heart:
 
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Great advice, Keesha. I especially agree with accepting the feeling of anxiety instead of fighting it. That seems to help me "move" through it.
Thanks for that post.
 
I've done a lot of self help work in my life and as far as worrying about everyone else. It's fine to have a concern, but nothing we can do about other's lives. We can help them if there is need, do a nice thing for them, but worrying about everyone...please.....

All we can control is the body we live in and I've learned that much. We have to get selfish about ourself for our own sanity and health.

The self help works and supplements can help with the feeling too. Many are deficient in magnesium and if you haven't looked at that, that is a start. Inositol and Gaba are body calmers...I use all 3.
 


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