Anyone have funny Halloween stories or jokes?

Serenity4321

Serenity4321

Senior Member
Location
Florida
Halloween is my birthday so I love anything Halloween. Here are some corny jokes..some are funny 🎃

Halloween Jokes for Kids
1. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.

2. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.

3. The skeleton couldn't help being afraid of the storm—he just didn't have any guts.

4. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

5. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.

6. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.

7. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!

8. Knock, Knock…
Who's there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!

9. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.

10. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!

https://parade.com/1056251/marynliles/halloween-jokes/
 

Many years ago, a colleague had a fancy dress hallow'een party. He dressed as the 'Grim reaper' complete with cadaverous makeup. During the evening he found he was out of cigarettes and set of in his car to buy some. He returned soon after, absolutely shaking with laughter. He said that he was stopped at traffic lights when another car pulled up alongside. He turned round and smiled at other driver who had a look of shock on his face and roared off through the lights.
 

Serenity4321 said:
Halloween is my birthday so I love anything Halloween. Here are some corny jokes..some are funny 🎃

Halloween Jokes for Kids
1. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.

2. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.

3. The skeleton couldn't help being afraid of the storm—he just didn't have any guts.

4. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

5. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.

6. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.

7. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!

8. Knock, Knock…
Who's there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!

9. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.

10. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!

https://parade.com/1056251/marynliles/halloween-jokes/
Click to expand...
GROAN!!!!!!!
:)
 
Serenity4321 said:
Halloween is my birthday so I love anything Halloween. Here are some corny jokes..some are funny 🎃

Halloween Jokes for Kids
1. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.

2. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.

3. The skeleton couldn't help being afraid of the storm—he just didn't have any guts.

4. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

5. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.

6. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.

7. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!

8. Knock, Knock…
Who's there?
Phillip!
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!

9. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.

10. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!

https://parade.com/1056251/marynliles/halloween-jokes/
Click to expand...
My Son was also born on Halloween ! Only perfect people are born on Halloween!(y)
 
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