Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

Retired Monica said:
Like @hollydolly said, I am also new here and jumped into this conversation yesterday as I am also single. I am also in total agreement with @PeppermintPatty that this site not have a dating section. Like I stated, if two members strike up a conversation and see that they have things in common than they can pursue that in the private messages or elsewhere if they like. We are all adults here and I think we all can handle this appropriately without it being something formal if any of us want to go down that avenue.
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I said that..about people getting together using private messanger on here..we've had at least 4 couplings here in the last 10 years that I've been here
 

CallMeKate said:
Perhaps they'd have better luck on one of the dating apps? Just a thought... using SF as a private messaging hub only... doesn't feel right... because then then there will be members joining ONLY for the PM'ing and that would basically make it a hook-up site after all.
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I agree with that. True, if someone is serious about getting into a relationship it would be best to join a dating app. There they would most assuredly get the best results.
 
CallMeKate said:
Perhaps they'd have better luck on one of the dating apps? Just a thought... using SF as a private messaging hub only... doesn't feel right... because then there will be members joining ONLY for the PM'ing and that would basically make it a hook-up site after all.
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well people have been doing that for the longest time.. people do it here now, today ..women who chat more on PM... than they do on the forum to either other women..or men... nothing can be done about that as long as other people are not causing regular posters angst with unwanted PM's. We do occasionally get scammer and spammers, who join, don't post and then send PM's to everyone .. but they're are soon banned.. the other members some have been here for years.... some rarely post on the forum, but are constantly PM'ing ..wether gossip or romance.. there's nothing to be done about that they're not breaking any forum rules..
 

CallMeKate said:
Great post, Patty... I agree with all of it except the thread or section for "other" relationships.... those are a dime a dozen all over the 'net and apps. This place would change so much and already there have been inquiries... since just yesterday! I think the mature people who frequent this board know how to contact each other privately for friendship, or whatever without advertising it.
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Maybe I’m not mature enough to handle getting hit on. 😝… that’s definitely possible. Lol

When I first got here I tried turning off my pm system but couldn’t however I recently discovered another member from here who has managed to do that, so I now know, it can be done.
 
hollydolly said:
well people have been doing that for the longest time.. people do it here now, today ..women who chat more on PM... than they do on the forum to either other women..or men... nothing can be done about that as long as other people are not causing regular posters angst with unwanted PM's.
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Absolutely... that was my point. We talk to each other privately now and it's great... but "spreading the word" about a private messaging hub for seniors to meet doesn't seem very wise. (Do you know if any of those couples you mentioned are still together, Holly?)
 
PeppermintPatty said:
Maybe I’m not mature enough to handle getting hit on. 😝… that’s definitely possible. Lol

When I first got here I tried turning off my pm system but couldn’t but I recently discovered another member from here who has managed to do that, so I now know, it can be done.
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I don't know how I would respond to someone who randomly hits on me in a private message. I suppose I would turn off my messages if that happened. I guess if I was striking up a conversation with someone in the regular forum and saw I had a lot in common with them and we took it to the private messages from there, then that would be okay.

I am not going to actively be setting out to be looking for a man on here. That is not my goal for joining here. My goal for joining here is to occupy my time with friendly people.
 
Retired Monica said:
I don't know how I would respond to someone who randomly hits on me in a private message. I suppose I would turn off my messages if that happened. I guess if I was striking up a conversation with someone in the regular forum and saw I had a lot in common with them and we took it to the private messages from there, then that would be okay.

I am not going to actively be setting out to be looking for a man on here. That is not my goal for joining here. My goal for joining here is to occupy my time with friendly people.
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These people don’t randomly hit on me. They PM me and over time we get to know each other and form what I think is a mutual relationship. Along the way, I realize they want more than just friendship and when I let them know I’m not interested, the friendship ends and it can be somewhat upsetting. I don’t hold any animosity towards them, I just wish I’d known ahead of time of their true intentions.
 
CallMeKate said:
Absolutely... that was my point. We talk to each other privately now and it's great... but "spreading the word" about a private messaging hub for seniors to meet doesn't seem very wise. (Do you know if any of those couples you mentioned are still together, Holly?)
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yes ...as far as I know they're all still together..except one couple where one of the partners sadly died...
 
PeppermintPatty said:
These people don’t randomly hit on me. They PM me and over time we get to know each other and form what I think is a mutual relationship. Along the way, I realize they want more than just friendship and when I let them know I’m not interested, the friendship ends and it can be somewhat upsetting. I don’t hold any animosity towards them, I just wish I’d known ahead of time of their true intentions.
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That is where it needs to be said right off the bat that you are not looking for anything more than a friendship. If they want to end it right then at least it doesn't go a long way.

I have never experienced meeting someone online before with the intentions of dating or leading into a romantic relationship. All the men I have dated since my divorce decades ago, I have met in person first.
 
Retired Monica said:
That is where it needs to be said right off the bat that you are not looking for anything more than a friendship. If they want to end it right then at least it doesn't go a long way.

I have never experienced meeting someone online before with the intentions of dating or leading into a romantic relationship. All the men I have dated since my divorce decades ago, I have met in person first.
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It was mentioned right from the start and they seemed perfectly ok with that but maybe they weren’t. 🤷‍♀️

Either way, now others here know and that’s that. 😂 ✌️
 
I have been divorced since the 80's and with the exception of having my son from that marriage there was nothing else that was positive about that marriage. After my divorce, I dated and was in several relationships with men which were a hell of a lot better than what my ex-husband provided. Even though none of these relationship led to marriage, I still cannot complain about any of those men I had relationships with during all those years.

Whatever is set for me in the future, I will certainly not rush into anything.
 
This thread has got me thinking about dating and realizing I haven't been on a date since right before the Covid shutdowns, so well over three years.

Just for the heck of it I signed up on Facebook dating since it's free. Seems many of the women I'm attracted to are in Ontario, Canada, I'm in Ohio, US, so the commute would be a killer.

I admit it's fun to look, but doubt I'll try and contact anyone, dating seems like a lot of work.

Hollydolly you started this thread. Have you signed up to a site at least to browse profiles?
 
C50 said:
This thread has got me thinking about dating and realizing I haven't been on a date since right before the Covid shutdowns, so well over three years.

Just for the heck of it I signed up on Facebook dating since it's free. Seems many of the women I'm attracted to are in Ontario, Canada, I'm in Ohio, US, so the commute would be a killer.

I admit it's fun to look, but doubt I'll try and contact anyone, dating seems like a lot of work.

Hollydolly you started this thread. Have you signed up to a site at least to browse profiles?
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Nope..in a word .... not since I started this thread.! It's kinda put me off tbh... I keep telling myself I'll sign up to one.. but I keep procrastinating
 
Going by the profile photos and the postings of the members who have expressed an interest in meeting other singles, it's such a shame that there seems little opportunity to do so, as you all seem attractive and interesting people.

One of my friends used to go on over-50's singles weekends/holidays - I remember her going on a hiking holiday somewhere in Yorkshire and she also went to Italy on a beginners painting course. She made lots of friends (male and female). It was a long time ago and she is no longer with us so I can't ask her about it but, I imagine there are many companies which offer singles weekends/holidays. The advantage over a dating app is that it's probably a more relaxed and fun way of meeting other singles. Has anyone ever considered something like that?
 
Trish said:
Going by the profile photos and the postings of the members who have expressed an interest in meeting other singles, it's such a shame that there seems little opportunity to do so, as you all seem attractive and interesting people.

One of my friends used to go on over-50's singles weekends/holidays - I remember her going on a hiking holiday somewhere in Yorkshire and she also went to Italy on a beginners painting course. She made lots of friends (male and female). It was a long time ago and she is no longer with us so I can't ask her about it but, I imagine there are many companies which offer singles weekends/holidays. The advantage over a dating app is that it's probably a more relaxed and fun way of meeting other singles. Has anyone ever considered something like that?
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Before the pandemic, I read about an Over 50 Singles Ski Week Holiday which fell over the Winter Holiday break I had as a teacher. I considered going, but it would have cut my time over the holidays with my Son, his wife and my granddaughter. I decided against it. I think it would have been a relaxed and fun way to meet others and I would have enjoyed myself skiing and also at the bar in the evenings. :)
 
Retired Monica said:
Before the pandemic, I read about an Over 50 Singles Ski Week Holiday which fell over the Winter Holiday break I had as a teacher. I considered going, but it would have cut my time over the holidays with my Son, his wife and my granddaughter. I decided against it. I think it would have been a relaxed and fun way to meet others and I would have enjoyed myself skiing and also at the bar in the evenings. :)
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Shame you couldn't go, it sounds fun and maybe something you could consider another time if you wanted to meet people. I think if I were in the situation of wanting to meet new friends and/or a possible partner, I would opt for a singles' weekend/holiday rather than a dating site.
 
Trish said:
Shame you couldn't go, it sounds fun and maybe something you could consider another time if you wanted to meet people. I think if I were in the situation of wanting to meet new friends and/or a possible partner, I would opt for a singles' weekend/holiday rather than a dating site.
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I am not much on the dating app scene. I would much rather meet someone in person. Whether that be on a weekend getaway trip or just by chance it happens, that would be better for me.
 
I joined Plenty of Fish a long time ago and I met a few women, but it didn't turn into anything. Frankly, I'm not sure that I want to meet anyone anymore. When dating, you try to impress and essentially not be yourself, but I'm starting to appreciate just being my own crotchety, smelly and unapologetic self.
 
Chet said:
Frankly, I'm not sure that I want to meet anyone anymore. When dating, you try to impress and essentially not be yourself, but I'm starting to appreciate just being my own crotchety, smelly and unapologetic self.
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We like ya just the way you are, @Chet ... even if the crotchety comes out. Fortunately we wouldn't be able to confirm the "smelly" issue. :sneaky:
 
palides2021 said:
Maybe SF should open a thread on dating, you know, for those who wish to meet and form relationships. Does that make sense? I know this isn't a dating site, but there are plenty of single women and men on SF that have voiced about being lonely, and a few times about dating online. @hollydolly, I don't want to derail your thread, just see if there is any interest in this. Do you think it might open up a can of worms (bringing in people that might not be Seniors).
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Palides2021 - Could you pm me. Just want to ask some general forum questions and perhaps I do need to talk if you have the time about single, loneliness and dating. Sort of rough if you have few family members.
palides2021 said:
Maybe SF should open a thread on dating, you know, for those who wish to meet and form relationships. Does that make sense? I know this isn't a dating site, but there are plenty of single women and men on SF that have voiced about being lonely, and a few times about dating online. @hollydolly, I don't want to derail your thread, just see if there is any interest in this. Do you think it might open up a can of worms (bringing in people that might not be Seniors).
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Packerjohn said:
I met my 2nd wife on "Lava.com" and we had a wonderful life together for 17 years until she passed away.

Met my current girl friend on "Match.com." Things are going real well. We love hiking, travel and eating healthy food.

Regardless, of all the bad media stories and all the negative comments here from women that keep writing, "I'm Finished With Men" here are a few simple rules from Packerjohn (that's me!)

1. Be honest with your write up. Lies will back fire on you.
2. First meeting should always be in a coffee shop with other people around.
3. Red Flag - Talking about money on 1st dates.
4. Red Flag - Men complaining about an ex. Women complaining about "bad" husband. These folks have unsolved issues. Keep away!
5. Don't fall for stories that they are working overseas.
6. Keep away from men who only talk about themselves and never ask about you.
7. Remember, you might have to "kiss a lot of frogs, before meeting Prince Charming."
8. First night sex is a big NO, NO! He doesn't care about you. He only wants SEX!

If you are a woman looking for a man with a bald head and a huge unshaven beard, you in luck. There are millions out there. However, make sure they know how to bath and brush their teeth. Ha, ha!

Internet dating works but you need to be careful and you need to use common sense.
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I REALLY like this. Packerjohn, you got this. I'd like to add a bit.

Never, ever, EVER agree to start a relationship unless meeting in person. Those world-famous soccer coaches online are just scammers.

Never, ever, even when you meet a lady or man, never, ever fall for the crap when they need money and ask you. Tell them to go to their bank or whatever, and do NOT fall for excuses, as "I had to pay up my child support," or "I got behind on my mortagage," ... their financial problems are their dang own. Not yours.

Also, never, ever loan money even to the one you met. If he/she asks for a loan, tell them you are not a bank and ask why they need it and ask why they aren't financially responsible. That's a deal-breaker right there.

And also, get their real names and social security number and do a full background check. If they are not willing to do that, there's something to hide and whatever it is, you don't need that.

Then if they're not working, ask why, if they say they're on disability, ask why. If they can drive a car and use a computer, they can do better. I know tons of folks who work from home on a computer who are disabled.

If they say they are retired, fine. But make sure you have proof. Many retirees have their own homes and never ask for money.

Don't fall for anything about mental issues. But with mental issues, stay waaaay from that. Sorry, but too many people have been killed, shot, beaten from boyfriends/girlfriends with mental health issues. You can be a friend, support them from an arm's length and don't involve yourself and your family into that type of mess. Your entire family can be in danger from folks who have mental illnesses. They need to be in a place where they can be treated and helped or therapy, not in your home.

Never, ever give money. And when you do meet someone online, and it goes deeper. do not EVER give them any information of your investments or bank accounts or savings. If you're a retiree with a home paid for, investments and all, never give them anything.

And if you do decide to marry as a retiree, if they have nothing, watch out. Get a pre-nup and protect your assets. If they have stuff, do a pre-nup for both sides.

Sorry to be rude, but I am happily married, but have sooo many friends messing up and making these mistakes. Y'll take care of yourselves.
 

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