Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

smiley said:
risky options but sometimes you can hit the million to one success event?
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YES! Look at me and DH. I had been married 28 YEARS; divorced and single at 58. He was the first and ONLY man I found on a dating site OR dated! 12 years on Jan 24! We love getting old together; we are 90 days apart in age...we laugh a great deal. I had not DATED since I was THIRTY! What were the chances?
 
dilettante said:
Guys?
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I agree it is risky to have an online relationship. In my case it was worth it:

During 1998 I (Ogonguy) met (Cupid) in a chat room called “50+ intellichat” because, as the name implies, it was intended to foster discussions among intelligent people age 50+ Little did I know she was recording all of our chats!

The raw text describes what led to us confessing our personal secrets, falling in love from 3,000 miles away (me in Oregon and she in Niagara Falls Canada). It becomes evident why, by first getting to know one another “from the inside out” I proposed marriage (and Cupid accepted) over the internet before we ever physically met in person. We were married Nov 1998 until she passed Jul 2009. Our marriage was the happiest time of our lives.
 
DGM said:
I have two friends who are online daters. The first thing they ask is "how involved are you in your grandchildren's activities?".
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My first question when DH and I met online was the same thing; neither of us wanted someone who thought the sun and moon rose and set on either their adult kids OR their grandkids. My DH said he had dated some women who were too attached to their grandkids and there is a danger in that 1) too much drama when you date grandmas overly involved with their grown kids and grandkids or think they want him to become something in the family the family really does not want; especially in cases of a divorce.

My biggest concern is that I didn't want to marry to become a caregiver and that was also my DHs second criteria for online dating to go to the point of meeting face to face. Health and fitness was a big go or no go as we are both military and wanted to stay in shape till we croak.

We knew a couple back in Texas who met online and married. This was 10 years ago. The couple was from CA and SHE (64) was so involved with her only daughter and only grand daughter, that she insisted after they were married in CA, her new husband (70) sell his home to move to Texas.

He was a fairly conservative/liberal Californian but she was not in way too many ways. And you may want to really take into mind that to move a super liberal person to Texas (unless it is Austin or Dallas) is the rest of the Texas tends not to take the fruit and nut culture of super liberal ideologies of some Californians "under their wings" and cozy up to those liberals as they tend to have much drama and to try to FORCE people to see things their way, rather than just let people alone, and relax or at least understand the culture of Texas is NOT the same as the culture of California.

Example: it is "OK" to be gay in Texas, just don't show it off in public, throw it in people's faces in Texas, as it is a cultural taboo in Texas as it is part of the Bible belt, Southern culture. Texans really don't care what you do in your bedroom or house but Texans don't WANT to know, so keep some things private and have some manners and respect for others, like most Southerner's expect, and the Texan will live and let live.

Well this couple moved from CA to Texas; so she could "babysit" and "be there" for this new grandchild and daughter. It lasted 3 years; the daughter began rejecting her mother's advice, etc, Mom got all out of sorts, began complaining to everyone; lots of drama. This couple ended up divorced of course! He went back to CA to be back in the area around his lifelong friends and two sons just a few hundred miles from his old stomping grounds in CA, where he'd left. But she got some of the equity in the house in Texas when it finally sold.

So online dating can be good, as long as you take time to get to know the person and ask the right questions, verify things, figure out their character in some way. Then a meet up in a public place...one step at a time.

My DH even let me run a credit check on him before we met!
I didn't want someone who burned through money or who had debt or had run up credit cards so deep, it sent up red flags!
No one needs money issues.
 
Brookswood said:
As a father, one thing I learned early on after my divorce was to only date women who had children. Or perhaps I should say - don’t date women who are so career oriented that they never wanted children. The parent-child bond is something that can’t be ignored.
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I tried to find someone who was just interested in a phone and/or e mail only relationship. No takers. O well...love6.jpg at least I am enjoying this forum.
 
I have always thought that a woman needs three partners in her lifetime:

1. One with good genetics as a sperm donor.
2. One who would be a great father and supportive of the family.
3. One who would be a great companion in senior years.

To find all of that in one person is pretty difficult. Or impossible, maybe.
 
Brookswood said:
As a father, one thing I learned early on after my divorce was to only date women who had children.
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This is a good point ^
Goes both ways but for a different reason. I'd only date men who were once married and has kids. The way I see it is, the ones who never married and have no kids don't know what it's like to think of anyone other than themselves. If a guy has never married and is in his 50's or 60's + with no kids he has spent the majority of his life focusing his attention on himself. He hasn't learned to think of others.

I signed up for online dating last fall. Basically it's a dumpster fire. Men my age are either pigs in their requests, so I instantly block them, or they are sooo much older than me they are closer in age to my father :rolleyes: It would be like dating my uncle, ick!

I like your 2rd point GoodEnuff - a great companion in my senior years would be a welcomed blessing. For me, a top quality in a man is someone who has emotional intelligence, which seems near impossible. Although, the younger generation of guys are more aware of this.
 
GoodEnuff said:
I have always thought that a woman needs three partners in her lifetime:

1. One with good genetics as a sperm donor.
2. One who would be a great father and supportive of the family.
3. One who would be a great companion in senior years.

To find all of that in one person is pretty difficult. Or impossible, maybe.
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I think that is a fairly accurate description. 😎
 
Brookswood said:
As a father, one thing I learned early on after my divorce was to only date women who had children. Or perhaps I should say - don’t date women who are so career oriented that they never wanted children. The parent-child bond is something that can’t be ignored.
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A career-oriented spouse/significant other can be a real problem for a man who is family oriented, to be sure.
 
GoodEnuff said:
I have always thought that a woman needs three partners in her lifetime:

1. One with good genetics as a sperm donor.
2. One who would be a great father and supportive of the family.
3. One who would be a great companion in senior years.

To find all of that in one person is pretty difficult. Or impossible, maybe.
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I see no need for 1 and 2. Mine made one promise and has kept it - I have never been bored.
 

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