Aphorism

SeaSparkle

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Aphorism: a short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation or a general truth.


1. The nicest thing about the future is ... that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3.. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark. . . to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important. . .because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. like it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . there's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies? ;))

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in some joints, you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . . and the ones that do mind, don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow . .. . .. . .. . but it's still a gift.

 

~ A day without sunshine is like...night.

~ 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

~ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

~ Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

~ Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

~ Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
__________________
 
Here are a few quotes from one of my old movie heroes, John Wayne:

Life is hard; it's harder when when you're stupid.

Courage is being scared and saddling up anyway.

If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.

Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much.

Get off your horse and drink your milk.
 

~Age either transfigures or petrifies (Marie von Ebner-Esherbach)

~All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it (S. Butler)
 
- She makes a proper cup of coffee in a copper coffee pot.

- Rubber baby buggy bumper.

- My father works in a shipyard and cleans up the ashes.



Hey, this is fun! How am I doing? :p
 
[h=2]The only way to read a book of aphorisms without being bored is to open it at random and, having found something that interests you, close the book and meditate.

Prince Charles-Josef de Ligne (1735 - 1814),
Austrian field marshal and writer

[/h]
 


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