Are these examples of someone being egocentric?

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
Examples of egocentrism?

"Asking hubby whether your bum looks big in this, and being unhappy no matter what the reply might be."

"Objecting, or getting in a mood when someone is unavoidably a few minutes late."

"Never forgiving someone genuinely forgetting an anniversary."

(they are you know, I think so anyway! :) )
 

Egocentrism refers to someone's inability to understand that another person's view or opinion may be different than their own. It represents a cognitive bias, in that someone would assume that others share the same perspective as they do, unable to imagine that other people would have a perception of their own.

Egocentrism.2.jpg
 
I remember my husband calling an associate to say that he wouldn't be able to help with a project as he had promised to do. He had just sustained a particularly nasty wrist fracture and needed immediate surgery to keep it from healing improperly.

The man got very upset and went on and on about his own inconvenience and how difficult my husband was making things for him. He could only see the situation in reference to himself...I think that qualifies as egocentric, seeing everything only in terms of yourself.
 

Some more research:

Egocentrism, A simple trick of the mind that can lead to emotional chaos

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/...-fine-line-between-narcissism-and-egocentrism

Quote:
"Knowing the dangers of letting egocentrism get out of control, how can you engage in corrective action? Whether it’s you or a loved one you’re trying to help, here are five pointers:

1). Make an honest assessment of your egocentric behaviors. Take stock of the behaviors caused by ordinary egocentrism that may be getting out of control. Whether it’s chronic lateness or poorly conceived Facebook posts, decide whether you’re letting your internal viewpoint skew your social interactions.

2). Check out how other people feel. Check out how other people are feeling by putting yourself in their place. Using active empathetic listening, for example, you can broaden your perspective to see not just from the inside out, but from the outside in.

3). Build up your inner sense of self. Don’t let your self-definition become too dependent on receiving attention from others. Find ways to build your self-esteem by developing an internal set of standards that allow you to reward yourself for your actual accomplishments.

4). Squelch your imaginary audience. You may feel that everyone is looking at you and judging you, but in reality, most people are just as concerned about themselves as they are about you. If you commit a social blunder, it’s unlikely that it’s as noticed (and criticized) as you think it is.

Practice counter-egocentrism. Test out your abilities to take another person’s point of view by trying to explain that skill of yours to someone who’s never attempted the task in question. Read over your e-mails before you send them to make sure you haven’t skipped over details that only you know about. Include other people in your in-jokes with your friends."
 
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grahamg said:
Take a look at this short video and come back to us would you?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p008tt15
Click to expand...
The narrative starts with a police officer asking the motorist (Arabella Weir), "Do you know why I've stopped you madam?"!

After a minute and a half of her telling him all the reasons why she thinks she's been stopped, all linked to her appearance, starting with her make up, eventually getting to the size of her bum, the police officer can't take anymore and asks her to move on, (all brilliantly acted of course. :) ).
 
Autumn said:
I remember my husband calling an associate to say that he wouldn't be able to help with a project as he had promised to do. He had just sustained a particularly nasty wrist fracture and needed immediate surgery to keep it from healing improperly.

The man got very upset and went on and on about his own inconvenience and how difficult my husband was making things for him. He could only see the situation in reference to himself...I think that qualifies as egocentric, seeing everything only in terms of yourself.
Click to expand...

I've had bosses react the same way. Lawyers tend to be quite egocentric. One of them actually suggested to me that I had broken my arm on purpose to screw up his life. Yeah, sure.
 
Rosemarie said:
Yes, it's part of their personality, but surely parents have a duty to try to teach a child that certain behaviour is not acceptable?
Click to expand...
One obvious excuse for at least some of the parents is that they've been excluded from their children's lives against their will, and I'd guess most parents feel undermined to some extent because others can be treated in this way, although its a topic for another thread really, (and I'm guilty of going on about this quite alot too). 🤬
 
A bit more research for those interested:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4844617/

Quote:
"One hundred fourteen female individuals (age = 13–78) took part in the study, performed at the Scuola Internazionale Superiore di Studi Avanzati (SISSA, Trieste, Italy). One participant was discarded since her age was missing. Therefore, analyses were performed on 113 participants in total. All participants were right-handed (Edinburgh Handedness Inventory; Oldfield, 1971), had normal or corrected-to-normal vision, and reported no past or present neurological or psychiatric disorder. Only female participants were recruited and for two main reasons: (a) consistency with our previous work in which only females were tested (Silani et al., 2013); and (b) because of documented gender differences in empathy and socio-affective skills (Schulte-Rüther et al., 2008; Tomova et al., 2014). Four groups were established according to age for the categorical analyses. Years of education were also taken into account."

Discussion
"In the present study, we investigated how the Emotional Egocentric Behaviour evolves across the life-span, from adolescence to older adulthood, in a sample of 113 female participants. By eliciting transient contrasting emotional states in paired participants, we measured to what extent individuals are affected by their own emotional states when evaluating those of the others. The task was administered to four groups of different age and specifically to adolescents (age range: 13–17), younger adults (age range: 20–30), middle-aged adults (age range: 33–59) and older adults (age range: 63–78).

In order to examine age-related differences in emotional egocentric tendencies, an index of the Emotional Egocentric Behaviour was computed for each participant and then employed for implementing group comparison analysis. Results confirmed our initial hypothesis showing a general increase of the Emotional Egocentric Behaviour in the extreme age groups (adolescents and older adults) as demonstrated by the significant quadratic relationship between age and Emotional Egocentric Behaviour. This U-shaped relation between age and Emotional Egocentric Behaviour was significant both when age was treated as a categorical variable and as a continuum variable and irrespective of the level of education of the participants.

Overcoming Emotional Egocentric Behaviour is a complex process that relies on different abilities, such as on the ability to recognize emotional states, to distinguish between our own and other-related representations, and to inhibit self-perspective/emotional states in order to focus on the socially relevant information (other). Previous literature on the development of these abilities are in line with the results of the present study."
 
I've got a friend who seems to have a more negative side to his character, where he's behaving in a more controlling, or territorial fashion, (no, not the "so called friend" I go on about a lot!).
Anyway, I do think his negative side is showing a little more recently, whilst he's going through a divorce he probably iniated, or his actions have lead to anyway.
This is the egocentric side I believe I'm seeing, or an example of it anyway. He kindly offered the use of his large garage, or when this is needed for his own use sometimes, a dry shed, so that an old tractor I'm having repaired could be worked on by a specialist engineer, who we've both known a long time. In order to avoid being in my friends way, both the engineer and myself have gone out of our way to try to keep my friend informed when work is to be done on the tractor, and yet even this isn't seemingly sufficient to satisfy his ego!
Yesterday is a fairly good example, as I spoke to my friend in the morning, saying the engineer hoped to start work again late afternoon, and when I'd got it confirmed the engineer could definitely come I tried to contact my friend on his home phone, and his mobile, but couldn't get through to him. The engineer did say, "I haven't spoken to our friend to confirm I'm coming, as he likes to do every time, but I said, well I've told him you're hoping to come, so it should be all fine.
The upshot was when the engineer arrived and had just started work, the friend returned to his farm telling me, " No one told him he was coming", although I tried to explain I'd tried but couldn't get through, "his victory" was I hadn't managed it, and he felt entitled to have a moan, in spite of all our efforts to be fair, keep him informed and so on.
Its control creamery really isn't it, and its combined with an effort to fool you he's happy to go along with whatever we're doing, at least in statements when he offered the chance to use his garage or other shed. His mum was a teacher, and I'm not sure whether that has anything to do with it on the controlling aspect of his character, and my engineer friend, who knew his mother much better than I did suggested his dad could be quite controlling with his mother, so maybe this is where it comes from, "I just don't know!". :)
 

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