Are you a better person than you were a year ago?

chic

chic

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Title. Are you a better person than you were a year ago?

Myself - no. I haven't accomplished much of anything of value this year. If you wiped 2020 out of my life, it would be better. I didn't achieve any goals this year for the first time, probably ever, and it's put me in a bitter mood.

How about you?
 

chic said:
Title. Are you a better person than you were a year ago?

Myself - no. I haven't accomplished much of anything of value this year. If you wiped 2020 out of my life, it would be better. I didn't achieve any goals this year for the first time, probably ever, and it's put me in a bitter mood.

How about you?
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Taking time off from setting and achieving goals (to just be quiet/at rest) can make you a better person. Maybe you'll feel a little less bitter about obstacles if you consider that. 🌹
 

I am definitely a better person. Having the husband around 24/7 made me realize, right away, that I needed to learn new strategies in dealing with his behaviors and issues which I have accomplished. This has meant a lot less verbal “fighting” as I simply refuse to engage.

Plus, I have learned to ignore certain things that I can’t change, and in some respects have given up trying to change. Life has just become too short to sweat the small stuff. The changes in my behavior towards his behaviors has led to a more peaceful life for both of us.

Yes, when he starts I still, sometimes, engage my mouth before my brain. But once my brain catches up, I disengage. Even after so many years, an old *itch can learn some new tricks 😂. After all I have never claimed to be perfect, but I might claim it now. 😍
 
Irwin said:
I've become a bit more disillusioned and more of a realist, I guess. I gave society the benefit of the doubt before the pandemic -- not so much any more. So, does that make me better or worse?
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Me too; but in my case, I'm pretty sure those around me consider me to be worse. Nobody likes old women who aren't fairy-tale-believing pollyanna's, it appears.
 
Don't know since we're only 6 days into 2021. Maybe by Oct. or Nov. of 2021 with some parameters to compare what way a better person would be, I could say one way or another.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I am definitely a better person. Having the husband around 24/7 made me realize, right away, that I needed to learn new strategies in dealing with his behaviors and issues which I have accomplished. This has meant a lot less verbal “fighting” as I simply refuse to engage.

Plus, I have learned to ignore certain things that I can’t change, and in some respects have given up trying to change. Life has just become too short to sweat the small stuff. The changes in my behavior towards his behaviors has led to a more peaceful life for both of us.

Yes, when he starts I still, sometimes, engage my mouth before my brain. But once my brain catches up, I disengage. Even after so many years, an old *itch can learn some new tricks 😂. After all I have never claimed to be perfect, but I might claim it now. 😍
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He probably learned some new strategies to deal with your behavior, as well.
 
@Aneeda72 I know what you are talking about. My hubby is 7 years older than me which may account for some of his quirkiness. 99% of it is small stuff. When he first retired I thought my survival rate had dropped 75%.
Now I just go with the flow. If he has to keep his mug on another shelf rather than with all the rest, so be it. When he spreads out every piece of mail all over the kitchen table, I deal with it. When he turns down the bed before friends leave, I shut the bedroom door. I could go on and on but its all small stuff.
Every year I become more and more mellow so now we are like comfortable old shoes and we both deal with each others quirks.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
@Aneeda72 I know what you are talking about. My hubby is 7 years older than me which may account for some of his quirkiness. 99% of it is small stuff. When he first retired I thought my survival rate had dropped 75%.
Now I just go with the flow. If he has to keep his mug on another shelf rather than with all the rest, so be it. When he spreads out every piece of mail all over the kitchen table, I deal with it. When he turns down the bed before friends leave, I shut the bedroom door. I could go on and on but its all small stuff.
Every year I become more and more mellow so now we are like comfortable old shoes and we both deal with each others quirks.
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OMGosh yes!! If he needs to turn every light on in the house as he walks through it, I follow behind turning them off. If he ignores bringing the trash cans up, I do it. I pick up the trash he drops on the floor through out the house, and on and on and on. After 49 years if he still wants to watch old black and white cowboy shows, then be my guest. I surrender.

Thanks for posting, you clearly do get it.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I am definitely a better person. Having the husband around 24/7 made me realize, right away, that I needed to learn new strategies in dealing with his behaviors and issues which I have accomplished. This has meant a lot less verbal “fighting” as I simply refuse to engage.

Plus, I have learned to ignore certain things that I can’t change, and in some respects have given up trying to change. Life has just become too short to sweat the small stuff. The changes in my behavior towards his behaviors has led to a more peaceful life for both of us.

Yes, when he starts I still, sometimes, engage my mouth before my brain. But once my brain catches up, I disengage. Even after so many years, an old *itch can learn some new tricks 😂. After all I have never claimed to be perfect, but I might claim it now. 😍
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You're definitely a smart and perceptive lady. I wish I had learned what you know a long time ago. I would be thrilled and grateful if I still had my husband here, annoying habits and all. I don't know why some of that stupid stuff seemed so important to me at the time. Now, I would welcome the things that used to annoy me so much. You're right, life is too short...
 
win231 said:
He probably learned some new strategies to deal with your behavior, as well.
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Sorry to disappoint but no. About ten years ago or so we were at my mother and she was singing his praises. We left and he remarked “she doesn't really know me, does she?” Nope, she doesn’t. I am a reactive person. I react to his abuse.

Otherwise I really look after him and he acknowledges this which is why he does not want a divorce or want me to leave. He owes me his life a few times over, and he knows it.

It was me that recognized he had a bowel blockage and insisted he go to the ER. It was me that read a report and found his lung cancer, not the stupid docs. I could go on but won’t.

Wrong again @win231 😂
 
chic said:
Title. Are you a better person than you were a year ago?

Myself - no. I haven't accomplished much of anything of value this year. If you wiped 2020 out of my life, it would be better. I didn't achieve any goals this year for the first time, probably ever, and it's put me in a bitter mood.

How about you?
Click to expand...
I never lost any ground... did gain some though.

I try and live by the old adage... "happy go lucky". :)
 

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