grahamg
Old codger
- Location
- South of Manchester, UK
One of the most awkward questions a child can probably ask of their parent they live with, (or possibly the other one?), is whether they ever loved their partner/wife/husband before they married them?
It is essentially asking the parent to state whether or not they were born out of love between their parents or not, and you can sympathise with those mothers, like Princess Diana, who apparently told her two boys marrying Prince Charles was a "mistake", (my ex using the same excuse or word, though she compounded her "mistake" by telling me early on in our courtship, "she wanted to have my child"!).
When I was asked whether I still loved her mother, two or three years after the split, I was by then strong enough to be able to say I no longer loved her as I did, (or words to that effect, even though it did take me two years to feel as though I could love others as much as I loved her, notwithstanding the betrayal and all the rest of it).
When asked why I felt this way by my daughter I was able to truthfully tell her I had "decided" this is how I felt, as she could then hopefully have no illusions about it, (many children secret holding on to the belief their parents might one day get back together as you may know?).
Many parents must fail this "truthfulness test" in my view, either because they wish to protect he child as they see it, or dont understand their own true feelings, (a percentage must never have loved their partner in the first place I suppose), so there are may options out there, but the questions will still be there, whether they're answered truthfully or not, or whether the parent chooses to answer their child at all.
It is essentially asking the parent to state whether or not they were born out of love between their parents or not, and you can sympathise with those mothers, like Princess Diana, who apparently told her two boys marrying Prince Charles was a "mistake", (my ex using the same excuse or word, though she compounded her "mistake" by telling me early on in our courtship, "she wanted to have my child"!).
When I was asked whether I still loved her mother, two or three years after the split, I was by then strong enough to be able to say I no longer loved her as I did, (or words to that effect, even though it did take me two years to feel as though I could love others as much as I loved her, notwithstanding the betrayal and all the rest of it).
When asked why I felt this way by my daughter I was able to truthfully tell her I had "decided" this is how I felt, as she could then hopefully have no illusions about it, (many children secret holding on to the belief their parents might one day get back together as you may know?).
Many parents must fail this "truthfulness test" in my view, either because they wish to protect he child as they see it, or dont understand their own true feelings, (a percentage must never have loved their partner in the first place I suppose), so there are may options out there, but the questions will still be there, whether they're answered truthfully or not, or whether the parent chooses to answer their child at all.
