Bad table manners, do they put you off a person?

Remy said:
It depends. Elbows on the table is something we were not allowed to do. Also had to ask "may I be excused?" Looking back it was all BS and control to me.
Click to expand...
This is what I think too. My father always reminding us about elbows on the table. He gave my date the stinkeye because the boy didn't hold the knife and fork a certain way. It was just mean.

And that "May I be excused?" Nasty.
 
There is an Italian lady at my table who eats like it's her last meal. Granted, she was deprived during the war in her native country, but, she's been here since 1956. She holds her fork like a shovel, pushed the food onto it with her knife, stuffs her mouth a couple of times, licks the knife and barely chews her food at all. Revolting, and we've all told her about it. She responds with, "you don't know what it is to be deprived." With that mentality, we give up and try not to look at her. By the way, she's thin as a rail. Amazing.
 
My first husband has the worst table manners ever. Of anyone. Ever.

Typical Thanksgiving at my parents house: Fancy china and crystal settings in the dining room. Extended family plus a few guests. My mother calls us to the table and goes back in the kitchen to fetch the hot rolls. We all go to the table and sit down with napkins and hands in our lap while we wait for her.

My husband sits down and starts filling his plate with whatever he can reach and then asks for the other dishes to be passed to him. Now his plate is full and ours are empty. He starts eating, shoveling it in with his mouth open taking gulps of liquid without swallowing first and answering questions my father tries to distract him with with while still chewing and adding more food.

My mother gets to the table with the rolls as he finishes and he gets up to go watch football while we begin passing the food around.

I am not kidding.
 
Lewkat said:
There is an Italian lady at my table who eats like it's her last meal. Granted, she was deprived during the war in her native country, but, she's been here since 1956. She holds her fork like a shovel, pushed the food onto it with her knife, stuffs her mouth a couple of times, licks the knife and barely chews her food at all. Revolting, and we've all told her about it. She responds with, "you don't know what it is to be deprived." With that mentality, we give up and try not to look at her. By the way, she's thin as a rail. Amazing.
Click to expand...
I'm not Italian, and we weren't deprived, but ... I think some things can stay with you for life. As children, we were made to eat huge meals. My brother and I would sit there for 2 hours, trying to force the food down.

Then, when I was a cook and waitress, you never got a meal break. You'd grab a bite or two standing up. Then you'd have to swallow it because a customer called you over, etc.

So I learned to eat without chewing. I still do it.

Recently I developed certain problems. People tell me I might avoid the problems if I chewed my food. I say, "I haven't chewed my food in over 60 years. I'm not going to start now."

(I deal with the problem by avoiding certain foods.)
 
@Lewkat My mother stated she went hungry after the war also. Something she weaponized from time to time but it wasn't her worst. And I will say, I'm grateful to never have gone without food. I've eaten toast and a potato for supper when I was broke, but I ate.

@Della That was horrifying to read. I'm almost glad he shoveled and left the table to leave the rest of you to eat. What a winner. :(
 
I am tolerant of all so nothing really bothers me. I myself try and be polite at the table but once in a while I may drop food off my spoon onto my shirt not meaning too as we are human. If people bother me with their eating habits I would stay clear of them. I say let people be who they are.

I was taught manners at the table and I still live by them or try my best too. We are aging and our hands get a little shaky or hubby my not can hold his mouth as tightly shut when eating that is life . I certainly would not be critical of a person who may not can help their eating habits. I understand others may not be as tolerant.

If I heard "put your feet under the table and sit up straight " once I heard it a thousands of time growing up lol lol. We never had to ask to be excused either.
 
Some people generally beyond just eating, have little social awareness of how their crude, culturally unacceptable, or rude behaviors are noticed by others. As social creatures, most of the rest of us that live in modern era communities have developed an awareness of how we are perceived by nearby others and have strong fears of being embarrassed so. That starts as school children and is well developed by high school. Much is also absorbed by watching how others behave on television and in movies. Once in the corporate work world it can make all the difference in being successful regardless of one's work skills. The above noted, it is also true there are those that were raised in crude families, went to small rural or poor urban schools, had friends just like them, and never were exposed to more culturally acceptable people.
 
aside from obvious/intentional, LOUD/disgusting burps or farts, what bugs me WAY more is someone glued to their cell phone. even worse... adults/PARENTS allowing kids on electronic devices during dinner. now, i understand that really YOUNG kids need to be entertained or they'll make their feeling abundantly clear. IMNSHO, if a kid is old enough to go to school... should be able to handle dinner with no ipad.
 
Perplexed, when someone has a medical condition that affects their ability to eat normally only a horrible person would be unkind. Parkinson’s has affected people in both my family and friends making it difficult to eat neatly. Many of these stories are just plain disgusting behaviors which is very different.
 
My father used to smack his lips while eating and talking with his mouth open. He wasn't raised with table manners. My mom taught all 6 of us kids table manners.

What I found rather funny was many years ago my xhusband and I went out for dinner at a classy restaurant. We both had lobster tails. I reached for a regular fork to eat it and he quickly reprimanded me that I was using the wrong fork. I was only 18 and had never before eaten lobster. Now I know to use the little fork... 🤣

I do appreciate table manners but overlook some things like elbows on table . It bothers me when someone burps loudly or has their mouth open with food hanging out.
 
I was once as a kid seated at a table with several other girls, one of the girls at the head of the table turned kind of green and puked on the table. That killed any desire for food that I had for several hours. I am made uncomfortable by anyone chewing with an open mouth! Not much else would bother me.
 
Teacher Terry said:
Perplexed, when someone has a medical condition that affects their ability to eat normally only a horrible person would be unkind. Parkinson’s has affected people in both my family and friends making it difficult to eat neatly. Many of these stories are just plain disgusting!
Click to expand...

I understand what your saying and I know a person that is unkind as you mentioned due to a persons disability and thinks they can eat better. I had enough and told that person "Stay away if you don't like it and think it is on purpose because it is not" it may very well be them one day!

I also know people eat the way they eat and think it is perfectly fine to them.
 
Last edited:
I had a friend who seemed to think nothing of putting her fingers in someone else's plate! She was grown with children of her own. I don't know WTH kind of upbringing she had or if where her parents were from, that was something people close to each other did. I had to tell her not to put her fingers in my food!
 
Ruthanne said:
My father used to smack his lips while eating and talking with his mouth open. He wasn't raised with table manners. My mom taught all 6 of us kids table manners.

What I found rather funny was many years ago my xhusband and I went out for dinner at a classy restaurant. We both had lobster tails. I reached for a regular fork to eat it and he quickly reprimanded me that I was using the wrong fork. I was only 18 and had never before eaten lobster. Now I know to use the little fork... 🤣

I do appreciate table manners but overlook some things like elbows on table . It bothers me when someone burps loudly or has their mouth open with food hanging out.
Click to expand...
Your post reminded me of the dinner scene from the movie Titanic.
dinner.jpg
Jack : Jack looks down at his utensils, confused as which to use, he turns to Molly Brown. Are these all for me?
Molly Brown : Just start from the outside and work your way in.
silverware.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top