Being gentle with yourself.

Olivia

Olivia

Well-known Member
Location
Hawaii
The following two lines are from the poem Desiderata.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

Do you find yourself being harder on yourself for something about what you've said or done or just about your life in general than it is to be the same way about other people?

Even if we try to forget it, we judge ourselves as not being good enough sometimes. I think maybe it's just being human or the way we were raised without the feelings of being valued just for being you.
 

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I like those lines of poetry... wise words; a good balance.

Yes I struggle with this.

When you find yourself worried you are not "doing" your free time "right," that's being pretty hard on yourself, lol.
 
If I'm harder on myself it is not due to not feeling good enough, it is knowing that while I may be able to control myself I can't control another, so it's useless to be hard on them.
 
I used to but now I'm more accepting of the things that I've said and done over the years. You can't dismiss them or overlook them but you can take ownership of them accept them and move on with your life.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
 
Olivia said:
Do you find yourself being harder on yourself for something about what you've said or done or just about your life in general than it is to be the same way about other people?
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Well, my lady will take all that's said,
her and others,
lay it all out on the table,
slice it,
dice it,
fold it into a pan,
cook it all up,
and then pick at it.

Oh, and share it with me

I'll look,
pretend I'm listening,
then ask what's really for dinner.

Me? whatever somebody sez is thought about some.
Maybe I'll use it, maybe I won't
No sense in being hard on anyone
Learn, move on

As far as what I say?
I'm rather spontaneous, trite, sarcastic
It's for the listener to decide the value

Deep thinking on most topics these days is highly overrated

But....this too..... I shall ponder

moi..thinking.jpg
 
I've often thought that I could and should have done much better, but it was my fault that I didn't. I've often thought that I've been too cautious and should have taken more risks, but I didn't.
On the other things I've got things that money just can't buy, so I'll try not to be too hard on myself.
 
Also from Desiderata:

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

I have never begrudged anyone their successes, nor have I compared myself to others. I have always liked myself a great deal, and except for a few mistakes I made in my younger days, I have no major regrets about my life. I achieved what I wanted in this life, give or take a few things. No biggie. I'm content.
 
Olivia said:
The following two lines are from the poem Desiderata.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

Do you find yourself being harder on yourself for something about what you've said or done or just about your life in general than it is to be the same way about other people?
Click to expand...


Y-E-S!!! Horribly so. 😖
I need to constantly remind myself to be gentle and loving with myself because how I treat myself is reflected in the way I treat others.
 
I am harder on myself than others, for sure, and often too much.

I try to remind myself to be supportive, accepting, respectful, kind and caring to myself, like I am to others, but it doesn't come naturally.
 
Olivia said:
The only flukes of the universe are those who think they are. Which is the point of this thread.
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You are the result of an amorous coupling between two people who chanced to meet each other, somewhere in time. You are who you are because one sperm out of a multitude of sperms, was plucky enough to beat the competition to an egg that happened to be produced at the time it was. Yeah, you're a fluke of the universe, as we all are.

Not sure how you see this as the point of this thread. It's a stretch, but I guess I can make it work if I twist things around, a bit:

Even if you see yourself as a fluke, as I do, you can still value yourself, as I do. I value my "fluke-iness."
 
Pepper said:
How does that fit with being harder on oneself than others? Explain yourself Olivia!
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The point of this thread is how you see yourself and being gentle about it. Being a fluke of the universe to me (and maybe only me but that's not the point) seems like a person is seeing one self more like you're a nothing--just a mistake. But then TreeGuy explained that is not what he meant. How's that?
 
treeguy64 said:
You are the result of an amorous coupling between two people who chanced to meet each other, somewhere in time. You are who you are because one sperm out of a multitude of sperms, was plucky enough to beat the competition to an egg that happened to be produced at the time it was. Yeah, you're a fluke of the universe, as we all are.
Click to expand...

And if there is truly such a thing as ''Parallel Universes", there are a LOT of flukes of us out there. LOL
 
Yes that's my theory as well. The whole planet Earth is a fluke in the universe. Look around. Nothing like it anywhere. For instance our moon. No atmosphere, no nothing and it's the closest to Earth. Mars? Forget it. A desert.

Now being a fluke isn't necessarily bad. You could have been born a genius like Einstein.

As far as being gentle with yourself?
 
I take the quantum multiverse view which implies that all possible outcomes of quantum measurements are physically realized in some world or universe. If anything that can happen, does happen, somewhere/some-when, then where are the factors of fortuity or contingency?
 
I think that learning to be content with who we are will help us throughout our lifetime. I think that building self esteem can be overdone.....just think of the tower of babel!
 

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