Best friend

vickyNightowl said:
I need opinions.

My best friend,who is like a sister to me,has been having some medcal issuess.
I love her dearly,even though she is old school and I am not,we respect each other.

I text her regularly and call to know if she needs help etcc
The end of December her son got sick and went to the hospital and she was not told right away,knowing he wasn't feeling well from previouus days and when I found out,as a mom and the serious of the situation and that I would want to know,I texted her at work and asked her 'how he was feeling and that her husband told me he was very ssick' ,trying not to scare her.

After about 20 min she texted me back,she had called him andd found out he was at the hospital and told me that I should not have texted her about it because she gets very upset etc

I'm in shock,I would want to know,I thought it was serious enough and she shouuld not be in the dark.
My feelings were hurt,really hurt ,there are times when I had text or left messages and they were never returned.

At that point I deciided to not ccontine texting since she did not botherr.its been a month.

I received a text this morning 'hey stranger,how are you? I miss you'

I did not reply,I still feel hurt because in every relationnship,I give iit my alll,making sure that the person knows how important they are to me

I don't know if I should just let it go like it didn't happen ot talk to her abouut it,I know ii have changed though.

-vicky
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Since I don't know your friend like you do, I can only share my personal feelings about what you have posted. You said your friend and you are basically very different people even though you love her just the way she is. It sounds to me like she needed that month to deal with what was happening with her son and now that things have balanced out again for her she has made the first move by texting you: "Hey stranger, how are you? I miss you." Alot of times when we are overwhelmed by something it takes a while to get back to normal. And often when we are overwhelmed we don't realize what we say or do at that moment in time. Your friend seems to have made a move to let you know you are missed. Can you let go of your hurt that she probably doesn't even realize she made you feel...and just get on with your friendship? It sounds like you have missed her too.
 

Vicky to me best friends ARE like family. I would have texted her like you did. What if you hadn't and she got mad as hell at you for knowing and not letting her know? I guess I disagree with almost everyone here. I would answer today's text with something like "Do you want to just be surface friends or do you want to be close and share things?" I don't care how sick or stressed out I am, if someone kept something from me about one of my kids I would never consider them a close friend again. Not to mention the husband here who wasn't telling his wife the news. But that's a different story. And if that is the way it is in their family, then I guess I'd just drop her as a friend. I like to have friends who play by the same rules I do. I have been thinking since I posted this and if your friend is a surgeon and you texted her just before she went in to operate on someone, maybe you should have waited awhile.
 
Linda said:
Vicky to me best friends ARE like family. I would have texted her like you did. What if you hadn't and she got mad as hell at you for knowing and not letting her know? I guess I disagree with almost everyone here. I would answer today's text with something like "Do you want to just be surface friends or do you want to be close and share things?" I don't care how sick or stressed out I am, if someone kept something from me about one of my kids I would never consider them a close friend again. Not to mention the husband here who wasn't telling his wife the news. But that's a different story. And if that is the way it is in their family, then I guess I'd just drop her as a friend. I like to have friends who play by the same rules I do. I have been thinking since I posted this and if your friend is a surgeon and you texted her just before she went in to operate on someone, maybe you should have waited awhile.
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Friends are like family to me too...but even family has disagreements and hurt feelings at times. And I wouldn't throw away my family or drop them from my life just because we don't see eye to eye or behave the way we think they should at times. I'm not perfect so I don't feel like I have the right to think anyone else has to be either. :)
 
vickyNightowl said:
I don't know if I should just let it go like it didn't happen ot talk to her abouut it,I know ii have changed though.

-vicky
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I would chalk it up as a "learning experience" and go on as if nothing has happened. If you talk about it to her, since you both don't see "eye to eye", it could make matters worse. You may need to decide which is more important, your hurt feelings or your friendship with her. Give yourself time, and the hurt feelings will heal.
 
Thank you for everyones input.it did help me.

Update: I replied to her text.

I realised that when you love someone ,it should be unconditiional and not expect anything back. :)
 

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