bitterness

BlunderWoman

BlunderWoman

Senior Member
Have you ever known someone so wrapped up in bitterness it's like they can't stand to see anyone else happy or having a good time? They will always bring in insults or drama when happy times are going on? Negative, toxic personality types who never have positive input, only insults and negative remarks? In a group setting they never show their own vulnerability by starting discussions, they like to sit in the sidelines and toss insults at those who do. They like to throw criticism at every idea in the workplace, but aren't seen throwing their own ideas out there. It's like they only have the ability to see or feel negative. Maybe they had something traumatic happen in their life, but never got over it and let the bitterness fester until it is like a leak that just spews venom. Maybe they didn't feel like they got the happy life other people got.. I dunno.
If you were honestly trying to help someone like this. What helpful advice or insight would you try to give them?
 

Giving advice to these types is useless and will cause them to turn on you. Have a neighbor who no longer talks to me. Her loss.

She tried to break a couple up as she did not think the woman was good enough for her male friend. Talk about bitter, on and on day after day even trying to enlist others to make her friend see the light.

Could not make her understand that she could have made friends with the woman if she only got to know her as I did. That woman was stealing her friend and she did not like it. Now I have two friends in that couple. She has lost not only the couple but tossed me aside for non support.
 
Hate to have to agree. I don't think you can really do very much except distance yourself. It may be what life has done to them or it may just be the physical make up of their brains or the chemicals sloshing around in their heads. Probably more to be pitied than scorned.
 
Emotional vampires are poison. All you can do is avoid them. Full of self pity and venom, they seek only to lash out, attempting
to blight, control, feed off other's lives, to counteract the emptiness in their own.
 
BlunderWoman said:
Have you ever known someone so wrapped up in bitterness it's like they can't stand to see anyone else happy or having a good time? They will always bring in insults or drama when happy times are going on? Negative, toxic personality types who never have positive input, only insults and negative remarks? In a group setting they never show their own vulnerability by starting discussions, they like to sit in the sidelines and toss insults at those who do. They like to throw criticism at every idea in the workplace, but aren't seen throwing their own ideas out there. It's like they only have the ability to see or feel negative. Maybe they had something traumatic happen in their life, but never got over it and let the bitterness fester until it is like a leak that just spews venom. Maybe they didn't feel like they got the happy life other people got.. I dunno.
If you were honestly trying to help someone like this. What helpful advice or insight would you try to give them?
Click to expand...

I used to work for someone like this. And no, I don't think you can do anything to help them. If you try, you just put yourself more in their line of fire. My advice would be to distance yourself as far away from this person as possible -- they only drag you down.
 
Hubby's brother...toxic to the max. But other than knowing karma will get him someday. It doesn't help you to stew over them. You can't turn them around, they can only do that for themselves...n' that kind of personality, they're sometimes so delusional they can't clearly see the vampires they are.
 
I've known a few people like that in the workplace over the years, very pessimistic and angry. Their complaining started before they even punched the clock and affected all those around them. They could make a negative out of anything positive that anyone else said. I tried to talking to a couple of them and try to provide a more positive outlook, but they were set in their ways and almost seemed to be content with their bitterness. I'm definitely affected by people like that and find it best to avoid them if possible, would hate to live with someone like that.

When I tried to talk to one guy about his bitterness, I just tried to encourage him to look at the "big picture" in life, and if he had a problem to keep in mind that many others had things much worse going on in their lives. I tried to point out all the good things he had going for himself, and that he should focus on those. He seemed receptive during our talks, but no changes came of it. So I have no good advice for these folks.
 
I had a relative who never forgot an incident that happened 30 years ago (not involving me at all). You could start an innocent phone conversation with him, and it would always end up back at that subject. You could feel the anger growing as he spoke. Then he would call me back several times that same evening with post scripts. No amount of talking to him from me or any other relative ever helped.

Also a co-worker (actually my boss) who kept a score on everyone. She never forgot anything that she thought went against her wishes and blamed everyone else for any mistake she ever made. A real CONTROL FREAK. Forced people to take sides (with me or against me), kept tabs on whether they were loyal or not. She didn't last long as boss, but still remained an employee, keeping tabs on the new boss, and tattle-tailing to his boss. Just being in the same building was unpleasant. Why I retired early.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top