Bottles and Binkys and Minding My Own Business, Oh My

fureverywhere

fureverywhere

beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
Location
Northern NJ, USA
I guess for those of you who have been grands for awhile you've already learned this stuff. But for me it's all new. The trick of not offering baby advice unless it's asked for. You just feel you could make things so very much easier. Then again we all learned the parenting thing as on the job training. I was so helpless with the oldest, never changed a diaper before in my life..."Um excuse me nurse? Which end does it go on?"...maybe not that bad but close.

My son talks to me privately sometimes. I'll offer what I did and if it worked or not. I breastfed exclusively for maybe two years each kid. Moo Bessie I had the freezer stocked when I went back to work too. My daughter in law tried I have to commend her for at least trying. But she's barely an A cup and Mr. Baby is a big boy so she has to supplement. Not a problem except she believes in no pacifiers.

It's not my place to correct her but the no pacifier idea came about when it was thought the baby would prefer a binky over Mommy and get confused. I think for the first year Binkys are a G-d send. I had them on my keys, in the glove compartment, in every room. Then at a year I would make all the Binkys disappear without a fuss. My poor son has Mr Baby when Mommy works late. You can only give so many bottles and he can't breastfeed. Ah well...they have to learn on their own.
 

I am about to be a grandmother for the first time this June. My son and daughter in law are the ones expecting. I feel as the mother in law I will not offer any advice unless asked. Cause naturally my daughter in law will go to her mother first. I will however be giving gentle hints with gifts like a binky and say oh I breast fed your husband for 8 months. lol My daughter was married last April. She is another whole kettle of fish. No babies for 3 years lol oh no buying me stuff I want to pick etc etc.She has already said to me about what I can and can't do and shes not even a mother yet.. o_O Hopefully when reality strikes the phone will ring lol.
 

The one thing I tell young mothers is that THERE IS NO "NORMAL" when it comes to babies. It becomes such a competition between young mothers as to whose child is sitting up first, talking first, walking first, etc. If your best friend's child is sitting up at four months and yours doesn't sit up at six months, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY CHILD????

My daughter was a late sitter, a late tooth cutter, had very little hair, a very late walker but was talking plainly and copiously at a very, very early age. I heard a lot of "isn't your daughter sitting up YET?" and believe me, it got to me. In turn, I triumphed when she'd be yakking away and people would say, "HOW OLD IS SHE????" That was HER normal....the other babies had THEIR normal.
 
I have 6 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren and I have never yet interfered by giving the parents hints of how they should look after their babies......... their babies, their way of doing things........................if I have been asked for advice, I have given it in a gentle way and then it is up to them whether the advice is used or not.
 
Trust me.... even the most gentle and well intentioned hints will be seen by some DILs as manipulation and interference.. It's a thing many of us MILs have learned the hard way... Offer nothing... Just smile and agree..
 
Just smile and agree..

Yep, I think that's it exactly. I remember having dinner with them a few months before Mr Baby arrived. I was sitting across from my son. I'm soft spoken so he could hear me and his wife couldn't. She was telling the table she would have no drugs because her girlfriends said she is strong enough not to need them. Then she wouldn't have any food or drink during labor because it wasn't supposed to be good.

I told my son...hey, Lamaze is a beautiful thing, but it can also be the worst pain you've had in your life. Then I said the no food no drink is a liability precaution for the hospital. If you need an emergency C section you could choke. But if you don't need a C section not having at least fluids is like running a marathon without a drink. Stick bottles of Gatorade in every part of your suitcase. The nurses will pretend not to see...

At the end of the day she got the epidural, the juice I don't know. They have to find out on their own ya know?
 
Bluecheese50 said:
What are binkies?
Click to expand...


Pacifiers..

pacifiersafety1.jpg
 
Binky is a brand name but we had cases of them. After a year they can start messing up a kids teeth. But under a year, baby is happy, you have peace, and all is good with the world.
 

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