Catfishing and Pig Butchering

Alligatorob

Alligatorob

SF VIP
Location
Northern Utah, transplanted from Florida/Louisiana
I first learned of Catfishing, the online scam kind, here a few months ago. This shows it is even worse than I imagined. Not only are lonely people taken advantage of but apparently it has grown into a big business. One that victimizes both sides, organized crime really. You hear more about women being victims of this, but I suspect a lot of men fall for it too.

'Pig butchering': Former romance scammer reveals tactics https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-asia-64884036

In recent years, people around the world have lost hundreds of millions of dollars to online romance scams.

One of the most lucrative of these, being run by criminal gangs across South East Asia, is called the “pig butchering romance scam”.

The scammers refer to their victims as pigs, whom they fatten up to be "butchered" - or conned, out of as much money as possible.

A BBC World Service investigation has spoken to former insiders, who reveal the brutal conditions facing many of those working as scammers and the sophisticated techniques that are used.
 

A lady my former girlfriend knew was promised the world by a man in Jamaica. My gf and I both tried to tell her to stick to someone nearby. He doesn’t have to be 10 miles away, but close enough you can meet for coffee or dinner as a first meeting. She had her mind made up. He owned a 200 acre cane farm and had a huge house with maid service and on and on it went.

However, after she told him she was going to fly over to meet him, he said no, he would fly over here to see her. She was happy about it, but then he asked her to make the plane reservation for him and he would settle with her when he got here. I told that was an immediate red flag, but she got mad at me for saying that and did whatever he asked of her.

When he got here, he told her he went to the bank to cash his check for cash and no bank would take a check from Jamaica due to all the scamming going on, so if she could let him have $5000, he would send it back to her as soon as he got back to Jamaica. She wouldn’t talk to me anymore, but my gf also told her it was a bad idea, so now, she wouldn’t talk to either of us.

She gave him the $5000, but the very next day, he wanted to go into the city, but she had to work, so he told her he would take the bus. Well, you can guess the rest. He was gone and so was the $5000. She tried getting in touch with him, but all she had was his email address. He’s gone and the money is gone. I told my wife she probably got off cheap. Those guys usually get more before they disappear.

She still won’t talk to me, but that’s OK. Maybe she learned a lesson that cost her $5000.
 

I know a woman who managed to figure out that the person she was communicating with was catfishing, before sending money. He, if it really was a he, confessed all to her. Even after that they kept on communicating and she started to feel sorry for him, a poor man in Nigeria, so she sent him some money anyway. Not a lot.

When she told me I thought it sounded like a reasonable thing a kind person might do. Now however I know she may well have sent money to this kind of thing. They have really studied how to get money from people, its possible the whole admitting to being a catfish and pleading poverty was just in the script...

All I can say is beware and never send anyone you have not known a long time any money, or access to your accounts. Never do it!
 
I don't understand how there are so many "romance scam" victims... I just don't. I *do* know that good and lasting relationships can be started online and I *do* know that people can indeed fall in love without meeting in person... I've seen it happen more than once with friends and relatives and the relationships are going strong many years later. *HOWEVER* the very minute money is asked for, I'd assume it's a scam and hightail it out of Dodge.

It also makes a difference how contact starts. Many years ago I was in a writer/journalist forum and two members really hit it off... we all saw it happening before they did... and they're together and going strong 18-19 years later. But this being contacted out of the blue on social media or however they do it... immediate red flag. 🚩
 
The best way to avoid these situations is to avoid the hook when its dangling in the water. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Don't answer phone calls from numbers you don't know. People will leave messages if it's important. Let landlines go to an answering machine (still have those, right?) or voice mail. Verify phone numbers via the internet before calling back. Don't trust that the person leaving a phone number really is from XYZ bank or company or that the phone number is legitimate. People lie.

Don't reply to emails from people you don't know, and don't provide access to your personal world by "friending" people you don't know on Instagram, Facebook, and other social media sites.

I've told the story on SF a couple of times about how my dear father-in-law was scammed out of at least $10K (probably more) by a Jamaican ring. It can easily happen to any of us, especially as we get older and/or lonelier.

Remain ever vigilant and deeply skeptical. Scammers are pros at finding and exploiting weaknesses. Don't give them the opportunity to find yours.
 
Due to being disabled, I could go to the senior center at age, 56. When I walked in, most of the crowd were widows. I was 56, walking and had teeth, every female eye was on me. That is the only time in my life I felt like a stud. Women outlive men by about 10 years. so there are a lot of lonely women -ripe for an exotic, well to do, online lover. While there are unscrupulous scammers, who tapped into a real emotional need of lonely women. A scam always provides what the mark needs.
 
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Every woman should have parameters set up for people she might be willing to meet. One, @Alligatorob would teach her how to fish so she could have food, Two, @horseless carriage, would teach her how to dance to have joy in her life. Three, @Gary O' would teach her how to appreciate nature and survive. If a man can't teach you things to take care of yourself, alone, he is not the man for you.
 
Beware too of on-line romance scammers who ask for gift cards to be sent as favors or as a condition of continuing the “relationship;” it’s like gold to them, readily accessible and untraceable. They promise their victims that they’ll get their money back, and are even bold enough to ask them to take out bank loans and send them the funds, again with promises of repayment. The scammer as bait can make promises that they’ll fly to the victim’s area and that they’ll live in a motel until a house is bought. That day never comes as the victim is strung along and gradually drained of funds.

A scammer does promise what the mark needs…love, s*x, an end to loneliness, a sense of belonging, etc. Law enforcement is limited in what they can do as funds are sent voluntarily…
 
The responders to on-line romance are idiots plan & simple. Some might also be desperate idiots .... but idiots still the same.

I feel no sorrow for them. Same with money scam responders . Desperation & greed is what fuels them.
 
rgp said:
The responders to on-line romance are idiots plan & simple. Some might also be desperate idiots .... but idiots still the same.

I feel no sorrow for them. Same with money scam responders . Desperation & greed is what fuels them.
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I see your view and yes it's true. However, to a lonely person any attention at all seems better than none. It is dreadfully tragic.
 
Bella said:
Two thumbs down to online "dating." JC_doubledown It's a minefield.
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It can work but a person must be strong. Definitely meet the date in person and take a good long time to get to know them. At the slightest sign of trouble they must be alert. Also take careful notice of their own friends and families views - make sure they meet the person too. But yes it is a dangerous business.
A big rule is never part with any money except to pay your own way for a meal etc. Big alert if the person asks to borrow money and such.
 
Rose65 said:
It can work but a person must be strong. Definitely meet the date in person and take a good long time to get to know them. At the slightest sign of trouble they must be alert. Also take careful notice of their own friends and families views - make sure they meet the person too. But yes it is a dangerous business.
A big rule is never part with any money except to pay your own way for a meal etc. Big alert if the person asks to borrow money and such.
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I'm strong, smart, careful, and alert, but there's nothing that'll convince me to "date" online. I'm not going to market myself online. If people are successful with that approach, I'm happy for them, but it's not for me.
 

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