Charging your children rent
- Thread starter Jazzy1
- Start date
That Lady in PA
Senior Member
Generally speaking, of course.
But the bigger problem (question, issue) is why they refuse to fly.
What do you think?
But the bigger problem (question, issue) is why they refuse to fly.
What do you think?
Dr.Colosso
Member
If they have a job? Well not here but if I could rent a bigger house with more rooms for them and they'd want to pay for it and I can't do it myself sure. I could but then they'd have to pay food. I would simply ask what they want if it was even possible. Loads of 30 year olds live with their parents now because houses are scarse and why would you throw away money on rent. That's the reason my nephews live with my sister still at around 30, but she has a nice big house and they can do their own thing. One is saving for a house, works 7 days a week, but they're so insane expensive. Maybe he moves to Portugal.
No. This is, and will always be, his home whether or not he has any money. When he first came here from Dayton to live with us he planned to get a job and his own apartment, but when the time came we saw that apartments, or even rooms, around here were scarce and over priced. Most importantly, I wanted him to live with us for health reasons.
He has given us money to help with costs regularly, but there is no set amount, or time, and I usually try not to take it, but he insists. I prefer he keep saving his money for the possibility that he might lose his job, and along with it, his insurance. His medications cost about $1500 per month.
He has given us money to help with costs regularly, but there is no set amount, or time, and I usually try not to take it, but he insists. I prefer he keep saving his money for the possibility that he might lose his job, and along with it, his insurance. His medications cost about $1500 per month.
Cornhusker
Member
- Location
- Nebraska Panhandle
My daughter and her family live in one of my houses, more or less rent free.
She does pay taxes and insurance and all maintenance and repairs.
Last year she paid to have a new roof put on, so she pays, just not "rent"
She does pay taxes and insurance and all maintenance and repairs.
Last year she paid to have a new roof put on, so she pays, just not "rent"
I've heard the term, failure to launch, used to describe children who never leave home. I know that there are some legitimate reasons occasionally but by and large its natural to form ones own life and visit HOME thereafter. We are seeing a new phenomenom to this situation.
I left home just before the age of 18. I enrolled in college and paid my own way, no loans and no money from home. I worked and studied. No one told me I had to do that it was the path I chose, and I had my parents blessing. My wife and I took that one step further. We provided for the children's education and encouraged them to pursue a path that was of their choosing. Each of them have done well. They have nice homes, solid family life and have children headed in positive directions. If that makes us the exception, seems like a pretty good place to be.
I left home just before the age of 18. I enrolled in college and paid my own way, no loans and no money from home. I worked and studied. No one told me I had to do that it was the path I chose, and I had my parents blessing. My wife and I took that one step further. We provided for the children's education and encouraged them to pursue a path that was of their choosing. Each of them have done well. They have nice homes, solid family life and have children headed in positive directions. If that makes us the exception, seems like a pretty good place to be.
I moved out young as I couldn’t “do my own thing “ in my parents home. It would have been scandalous!
@Dr.Colosso
@Dr.Colosso
Dr.Colosso
Member
They have their own part to live in, so they have privacy. The house is huge and cheap. Why let them pay someone else to go live in their house? There are no houses you can rent so you have to share anyway.
In Holland even in 1920 it was normal that even until they were 60 or older and did not marry they kept living at home.
My brother is 62. He always stayed there. People made dumb comments. Now the neighbours are jealous. My 90 y o mom can keep living in her house. He does everything for her.
Michael Z
Senior Member
- Location
- Northern Wisconsin
It would depend on their abilities. My youngest daughter with ADD has a tough time on her own and I want her to save as much as she can so I do not want her paying rent. For the others, I strongly encouraged them all to get out on their own once they completed their education, and they did before any talk of rent.
Aunt Bea
SF VIP
- Location
- Near Mount Pilot
My mother and stepfather never charged me rent.
They told me that I was welcome to stay as long as I liked if I continued to pitch in with the chores and obeyed their very basic rules.
They also told me that when I left, I could never return other than as an occasional guest.
I myself would charge a modest rent and at some point would decide if I should return it to them at some sort of milestone or major hurdle in their life.
They told me that I was welcome to stay as long as I liked if I continued to pitch in with the chores and obeyed their very basic rules.
They also told me that when I left, I could never return other than as an occasional guest.
I myself would charge a modest rent and at some point would decide if I should return it to them at some sort of milestone or major hurdle in their life.
Cornhusker
Member
- Location
- Nebraska Panhandle
The day after graduation, I loaded everything I owned into my car. At the time, everything I owned fit in a trash bag.
I picked up a couple of friends, and we went about 80 miles away to work putting up grain bins.
Best summer of my life so far.
I picked up a couple of friends, and we went about 80 miles away to work putting up grain bins.
Best summer of my life so far.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
Our children launched themselves not long after graduating college. DH & I never charged them rent, nor did our parents charge us rent.
If they needed to live with us again it would be due to extraordinary circumstances in their lives. We'd roll out the welcome mat and support them however we could.
Our children are not the type to take advantage of us or anyone else.
If they needed to live with us again it would be due to extraordinary circumstances in their lives. We'd roll out the welcome mat and support them however we could.
Our children are not the type to take advantage of us or anyone else.
Dr.Colosso
Member
Why should they if it's nice and they don't have a partner, don't have to study elsewhere and can't pay an absurd expensive room or house.
I moved with 19 because it was unbearable. You couldn't chill 5 minutes or it was: What are you lazying around? Go study! And in a then cheap room with housemates it was way more fun.
Knight
Well-known Member
The question is
Quote
"If your adult child never wanted to leave home, would you charge them rent? (Why or Why Not)"
That implies to me the adult child is mentally & physically capable of leaving home & earning a living
I would calculate the cost to continue to support & discuss that cost. Then charge rent accordingly. Part of the conversation would include the cost of living increases so rent increases would happen.
Thankfully our sons wanted to begin their adult lives living on their own. Their thought was if Dad & Mom could do it they could to. They did struggle & we did offer financial help with no payback. Once over that initial hump of learning how to handle finances they have done well.
They do know if they ever did need to move back in they would be welcome. And if for some crazy reason we needed a place to live they would help us.
Quote
"If your adult child never wanted to leave home, would you charge them rent? (Why or Why Not)"
That implies to me the adult child is mentally & physically capable of leaving home & earning a living
I would calculate the cost to continue to support & discuss that cost. Then charge rent accordingly. Part of the conversation would include the cost of living increases so rent increases would happen.
Thankfully our sons wanted to begin their adult lives living on their own. Their thought was if Dad & Mom could do it they could to. They did struggle & we did offer financial help with no payback. Once over that initial hump of learning how to handle finances they have done well.
They do know if they ever did need to move back in they would be welcome. And if for some crazy reason we needed a place to live they would help us.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
Same, same, on all counts.
OneEyedDiva
SF VIP
- Location
- New Jersey
Absolutely. An adult child should not be conditioned to shirk the real life responsibilities that come with adulthood. It's not doing the parent nor child any favors.
Jules
SF VIP
If they decided to stay, there would be rent charged. It would be put away in a separate account. If things went well and they were working hard to advance, I’d give them the money back for setting themselves up when it was time to leave.
Absolutely no to returning for home cooked meals, cleaned house, no restrictions if they were working and enjoying a party time, or not working and just enjoying being cared for.
If there were a major life issue, that would be a different situation.
Many seem to be sad about an empty nest. Just like birds, there are good reasons for them to fly the coop.
Absolutely no to returning for home cooked meals, cleaned house, no restrictions if they were working and enjoying a party time, or not working and just enjoying being cared for.
If there were a major life issue, that would be a different situation.
Many seem to be sad about an empty nest. Just like birds, there are good reasons for them to fly the coop.