Check on Your Friends... I Didn't and Today I Grieve

CallMeKate

CallMeKate

Well-known Member
Location
Mid-Atlantic US
Well I wasn't expecting that. I had a very dear old friend who lived in a different state. Once in a while we'd lose touch over the years as usually happens, but not for long. So today was the day I decided we needed to reconnect and I looked to see if I could re-find her social media profile but instead I found a video of her memorial service. She died in December. :cry:

Check on your friends... it wouldn't have changed anything if I'd checked on her earlier, but I wouldn't be feeling so guilty for not even knowing anything was wrong.
 

This has happened to me twice in the same year. It’s absolutely the worse feeling in the world. Both times they were very I’ll and one was terminal and I kept asking myself “Why didn’t they let me know their situation?” The question should should have been, “Why did you wait so long before trying to connect with them?” It’s a guilt that lasts a long time. I should add “it’s a painful guilt.” I considered both of them as close friends.
 
Been There said:
This has happened to me twice in the same year. It’s absolutely the worse feeling in the world. Both times they were very I’ll and one was terminal and I kept asking myself “Why didn’t they let me know their situation?” The question should should have been, “Why did you wait so long before trying to connect with them?” It’s a guilt that lasts a long time. I should add “it’s a painful guilt.” I considered both of them as close friends.
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Ya know, @Been There , I've been thinking about this today and I kind of came to the conclusion that Laura kept things to herself thinking she was "protecting" me somehow. Not sure if it's true, but it fits into her nature. I'll never know... I'm very sorry that you've had to go through the same. :cry:
 
CallMeKate said:
Ya know, @Been There , I've been thinking about this today and I kind of came to the conclusion that Laura kept things to herself thinking she was "protecting" me somehow. Not sure if it's true, but it fits into her nature. I'll never know... I'm very sorry that you've had to go through the same. :cry:
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Please keep in mind that guilt is a big part of grief and try and forgive yourself. You did nothing wrong. I think it’s naturally for us all to blame ourselves when we lose a loved one. Unfortunately guilt can sometimes shut us down. Try and let it go.
 
CallMeKate said:
Well I wasn't expecting that. I had a very dear old friend who lived in a different state. Once in a while we'd lose touch over the years as usually happens, but not for long. So today was the day I decided we needed to reconnect and I looked to see if I could re-find her social media profile but instead I found a video of her memorial service. She died in December. :cry:

Check on your friends... it wouldn't have changed anything if I'd checked on her earlier, but I wouldn't be feeling so guilty for not even knowing anything was wrong.
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Very hard to lose friends. This has happened to me also - finding out too late. This is the hardest part of aging to me - losing loved ones. Recently I have lost 3 first cousins - very special in my life, and 1 lifelong "girlfriend." I'm still having trouble realizing they are all gone.
 

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