Cherishing Our Time Here On Earth, and Not Wasting It Dwelling on the Past or Fearing the Future

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
The older I get the more I try to cherish each day and not waste it by dwelling on past regrets or wondering and worrying about what the future may hold. Once today slips away from us, it is our past and with each year the days go by so much more quickly it seems.

I notice that a lot of folks taint their present lives with constant grief about what they could have done or should have done years ago. Not really appreciating their life today. Some go all the way back to childhood with these thoughts.

Some people, like "preppers" devote years of their lives, day after day, preparing for a possible catastrophe that may or may not happen. They steal the moments from their families with excessive planning, training, buying extreme amounts of supplies, food, guns, ammo, etc. They take the normal and reasonable action of having enough food, water and other supplies to get us through something major happening like a natural disaster, long-term power outage, etc. and they multiply it by 100.

There's nothing wrong with being religious and having strong faith in whatever you believe, but some people spend so much of their every day lives preparing, planning, fearing or looking forward to a heavenly afterlife or the opposite, that they miss out on the pleasure of enjoying this life they've been blessed with here on this earth.

To me all of the above seems like such a waste of moments that we should cherish. Regardless of age, our days are numbered, and in my opinion we should make the best of them, enjoy nature and the skies above, enjoy our loved ones and our animals. What are your thoughts? Do you think we should spend more time living in the present and not devote all our energies and thoughts to the past which we cannot change, or the future which is unknown?
 

I feel best while enjoying the moment, yet preparing for my future. I treasure fond memories of my past but do not dwell on past failures or pleasures too much.
I understand preppers and do not condemn them. Many may be a lot younger than I am with small kids and greater fear of what the future made hold and so feel the need to control that future as much as possible.

Living in the moment is prescribed by Buddhist teaching and also by yogis so there are clearly benefits to it especially when it comes to worrying excessively about things out of your control. I see this every day and the damage it does to humans, physically.

Not sure if this is a complete answer to your question SB, but I gave it my best. :eek:
 
I try to live in present, but it's very, very difficult. I find it easiest when I'm doing something like bike riding (in Scotland countryside), or kayaking or swimming here in Thailand. I love to float in a pool and look up at the sky and the palm trees. I'm in the moment at those times.
 

>Do you think we should spend more time living in the present and not devote all our energies and thoughts to the past which we cannot change, or the future which is unknown?<

I do think it's wise to give some thought to the future, and do some planning...you know, financial planning and stuff. It's futile to dwell on the past, but you must look at it to understand yourself. But happiness is being in the moment.
 
FazeFour said:
>Do you think we should spend more time living in the present and not devote all our energies and thoughts to the past which we cannot change, or the future which is unknown?<

I do think it's wise to give some thought to the future, and do some planning...you know, financial planning and stuff. It's futile to dwell on the past, but you must look at it to understand yourself. But happiness is being in the moment.
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Very wise advice, Fazefour.
For peace of mind one should always adhere to the mindset of one's culture.
 
FazeFour said:
>Do you think we should spend more time living in the present and not devote all our energies and thoughts to the past which we cannot change, or the future which is unknown?<

I do think it's wise to give some thought to the future, and do some planning...you know, financial planning and stuff. It's futile to dwell on the past, but you must look at it to understand yourself. But happiness is being in the moment.
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Many people think mindfulness means never thinking about the past or the future. But it really refers to not always being in the past or future, not always thinking ahead to tomorrow, not worrying about what might happen, what might go wrong. We can make plans for the future and be in the present while doing so.
 
It's interesting to note that there's quite a lot of nostalgic posts on his board. Nothing wrong with remembering the past, however sometimes things happen that shapes our current mindset and there's maybe not a lot we can do about that. It's easy to say that it was all in the past, but sometimes things become so ingrained that they can't be shifted.

I think that Fazefour has got it pretty well right.
 
Capt Lightning said:
It's interesting to note that there's quite a lot of nostalgic posts on his board. Nothing wrong with remembering the past, however sometimes things happen that shapes our current mindset and there's maybe not a lot we can do about that. It's easy to say that it was all in the past, but sometimes things become so ingrained that they can't be shifted.

I think that Fazefour has got it pretty well right.
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Nostaligia is fine, and what we learned from the past is good as well. But many constantly think back to things we regret, things we are angry about, grudges we hold, etc. That is what we should stop doing when it comes to the past.
 
Ameriscot said:
I try to live in present, but it's very, very difficult. I find it easiest when I'm doing something like bike riding (in Scotland countryside), or kayaking or swimming here in Thailand. I love to float in a pool and look up at the sky and the palm trees. I'm in the moment at those times.
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Who wouldn't want to live in your moment? :woohoo1:
 
chic said:
I feel best while enjoying the moment, yet preparing for my future. I treasure fond memories of my past but do not dwell on past failures or pleasures too much.
I understand preppers and do not condemn them. Many may be a lot younger than I am with small kids and greater fear of what the future made hold and so feel the need to control that future as much as possible.

Living in the moment is prescribed by Buddhist teaching and also by yogis so there are clearly benefits to it especially when it comes to worrying excessively about things out of your control. I see this every day and the damage it does to humans, physically.

Not sure if this is a complete answer to your question SB, but I gave it my best. :eek:
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When we were planning to have kids it was 1959 and lived in NYC. The threat of an atom bomb was made very real to us. They had a shelter in the basement of our apartment house. :rofl: We decided that Mother Nature does not put herself on hold for us humans and followed our plan, regardless. Two great kids and twi grandsons resulted, No regrets.

Not a true Buddhist, but Gautama had it figured out. Too bad his followers had to add a lot of needless trappings on to his wisdom.
 
Underock1 said:
When we were planning to have kids it was 1959 and lived in NYC. The threat of an atom bomb was made very real to us. They had a shelter in the basement of our apartment house. :rofl: We decided that Mother Nature does not put herself on hold for us humans and followed our plan, regardless. Two great kids and twi grandsons resulted, No regrets.

Not a true Buddhist, but Gautama had it figured out. Too bad his followers had to add a lot of needless trappings on to his wisdom.
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Yes, it's not as simple as during Guautama's time.
 
I spent the last two years grieving and mulling over my past life with my family. They are all gone, and my wishing for them will never change what today is. In the last few months I have been going through what I now understand to be surviver's guilt. But now I am starting to starting to see today.

Today my life is changing for the better. I am finding a new life, and everything is changing for me. I am now a VA volunteer at one of our country's largest VA hospitals. Since my eyes are not sharp enough to do my protrait work anymore, I've decided to become a weaver. I can still see color very well, so I'm going to start off with 4'X4' baby blankets for the younger vets that are starting new families, and 4'X5' lap blankets for the VA's permanent residents, so that they don't have to go around in just the ugly old pj's and hospital gowns. Maybe some day I'll be good enough to make cloth to sew with.

Yes, the past still saddens me, but I think my Creator is trying to show me that I'm still alive today.

The future will bring what it may, and then that too will be today. :wave:
 
Ina said:
I spent the last two years grieving and mulling over my past life with my family. They are all gone, and my wishing for them will never change what today is. In the last few months I have been going through what I now understand to be surviver's guilt. But now I am starting to starting to see today.

Today my life is changing for the better. I am finding a new life, and everything is changing for me. I am now a VA volunteer at one of our country's largest VA hospitals. Since my eyes are not sharp enough to do my protrait work anymore, I've decided to become a weaver. I can still see color very well, so I'm going to start off with 4'X4' baby blankets for the younger vets that are starting new families, and 4'X5' lap blankets for the VA's permanent residents, so that they don't have to go around in just the ugly old pj's and hospital gowns. Maybe some day I'll be good enough to make cloth to sew with.

Yes, the past still saddens me, but I think my Creator is trying to show me that I'm still alive today.

The future will bring what it may, and then that too will be today. :wave:
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Sounds like you are looking at the positives and trying to get past your sadness. Good for you! Volunteering and hobbies are always a good way to get on with your life.
 
I believe the past does shape our present but I'm very much in the present. I honestly don't waste time with what is gone. I've really only allowed myself to reminisce over the good moments. The people I love who are gone remain a part of me forever. I don't want to change that.

i feel peace with my life. This has been the best part of getting older. I can appreciate all the beauty around me. I see where I fit into this universe and I'm okay with it. I'm not searching or looking for some elusive dream. I have what I want and I'm thankful. Every moment is precious...yes.
 
Ina said:
I spent the last two years grieving and mulling over my past life with my family. They are all gone, and my wishing for them will never change what today is. In the last few months I have been going through what I now understand to be surviver's guilt. But now I am starting to starting to see today.

Today my life is changing for the better. I am finding a new life, and everything is changing for me. I am now a VA volunteer at one of our country's largest VA hospitals. Since my eyes are not sharp enough to do my protrait work anymore, I've decided to become a weaver. I can still see color very well, so I'm going to start off with 4'X4' baby blankets for the younger vets that are starting new families, and 4'X5' lap blankets for the VA's permanent residents, so that they don't have to go around in just the ugly old pj's and hospital gowns. Maybe some day I'll be good enough to make cloth to sew with.

Yes, the past still saddens me, but I think my Creator is trying to show me that I'm still alive today.

The future will bring what it may, and then that too will be today. :wave:
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Ina..you are a bright light in this world. Hugs to you. :glitter-heart::sunshine:
 
Ina said:
I spent the last two years grieving and mulling over my past life with my family. They are all gone, and my wishing for them will never change what today is. In the last few months I have been going through what I now understand to be surviver's guilt. But now I am starting to starting to see today.

Today my life is changing for the better. I am finding a new life, and everything is changing for me. I am now a VA volunteer at one of our country's largest VA hospitals. Since my eyes are not sharp enough to do my protrait work anymore, I've decided to become a weaver. I can still see color very well, so I'm going to start off with 4'X4' baby blankets for the younger vets that are starting new families, and 4'X5' lap blankets for the VA's permanent residents, so that they don't have to go around in just the ugly old pj's and hospital gowns. Maybe some day I'll be good enough to make cloth to sew with.

Yes, the past still saddens me, but I think my Creator is trying to show me that I'm still alive today.

The future will bring what it may, and then that too will be today. :wave:
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That's great Ina. There is no better therapy than doing for others.
 
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SeaBreeze said:
Do you think we should spend more time living in the present and not devote all our energies and thoughts to the past which we cannot change, or the future which is unknown?
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I so agree with all three points that you made. Sometimes it's only temporary, and I understand that. And sometimes, people seem to actually enjoy it and it's their outward face only. Perhaps they just don't know what else to talk about.

But it makes me sad for some very nice people, when I see them doing these things their entire lives and they seem to be constantly in turmoil about it. I want to help, but these have not been close friends, rather just everyday acquaintances, or co-workers, or relatives I used to know.
 
Living in the present, engaging in day to day activities and interests seems like the best antidote to being fixated on the past or worrying excessively about the future. But the mind has its own way of doing things and sometimes the past creeps in to remind us of things we once experienced or reflects upon the future, because that is its way. I find what works for me is not to try to push the thoughts away, but to open up the mental memory box and look and see if there's anything there I need to take note of or act on and then close it and put it away.

I have found thinking about past experiences spent with a deceased is part of the grieving process and may take a while, but this fades over time. We can't really control what the mind needs to do. If someone has suffered a traumatic event or abuse then the past would intrude into their life and although a walk in nature is healing and beneficial, its not going to make the problem go away. Unfortunately there are so many people who have suffered some serious life traumas and may not have access to professional help but hopefully they have an empathetic friend or two for support.
 
chic said:
I understand preppers and do not condemn them.
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Chic, I don't condemn preppers at all. I was just pointing out the ones who become so obsessive, that extreme actions to prepare for a future tragedy not only consumes the days and years of their present life, but also the lives of their family and the minds of all involved.

We probably have more things to be self sufficient in an emergency than most. Firewood, generator, hand crank radio and flashlights, boxes of candles, matches/lighters, pantry with extra food and bottled water, water filter pump, propane, propane stove and lantern, etc. We even have boxes of freeze dried foods left over from Y2K :p But, we don't always think about the future and what negative things it may hold, we try to enjoy the days we have in the present.

FazeFour said:
I do think it's wise to give some thought to the future, and do some planning...you know, financial planning and stuff. It's futile to dwell on the past, but you must look at it to understand yourself. But happiness is being in the moment.
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I agree. We planned even when young for an early retirement, without that saving and planning, I'd still have to work today. We definitely have to think of the future, but I don't think it should dominate our life in the present. Yes, looking at the past to understand yourself is good, but dwelling on it, especially the bad parts that make you sad, frustrated or angry, should not happen, it's not healthy physically or mentally, IMO.

Ameriscot said:
Many people think mindfulness means never thinking about the past or the future. But it really refers to not always being in the past or future, not always thinking ahead to tomorrow, not worrying about what might happen, what might go wrong. We can make plans for the future and be in the present while doing so.
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You get it Ameriscot, "not always" is key.

NancyNGA said:
But it makes me sad for some very nice people, when I see them doing these things their entire lives and they seem to be constantly in turmoil about it.
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I know what you mean Nancy, it is a sad thing.
 
Cookie said:
Living in the present, engaging in day to day activities and interests seems like the best antidote to being fixated on the past or worrying excessively about the future. But the mind has its own way of doing things and sometimes the past creeps in to remind us of things we once experienced or reflects upon the future, because that is its way. I find what works for me is not to try to push the thoughts away, but to open up the mental memory box and look and see if there's anything there I need to take note of or act on and then close it and put it away.

I have found thinking about past experiences spent with a deceased is part of the grieving process and may take a while, but this fades over time. We can't really control what the mind needs to do. If someone has suffered a traumatic event or abuse then the past would intrude into their life and although a walk in nature is healing and beneficial, its not going to make the problem go away. Unfortunately there are so many people who have suffered some serious life traumas and may not have access to professional help but hopefully they have an empathetic friend or two for support.
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Excellent, Cookie. I agree with your thought that the mind has its own way of doing things. We are not in complete control.
I am coming up on the first anniversary of my wife's passing. My life will never be the same but I can think of our happy times now without becoming a basket case. I am getting through the days quite happily now. I am happy about that but hate it at the same time because it means I am forgetting whether I will it or not.
 
Underock, looks like your doing very well. Do we forget, or does it get put it away nicely to be retrieved if and when we wish.
 
I agree with you too Cookie, especially about the grieving process. Of course when we lose loved ones they stay in our minds, it's so important to grieve and hold the memories that mean so much. Underock, you do seem to be dealing with your loss well. It sounds like the love between you and your wife was very special, I admire you and my heart goes out to you...hugs.
 
Cookie said:
Underock, looks like your doing very well. Do we forget, or does it get put it away nicely to be retrieved if and when we wish.
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Thank you, Cookie. I did my best to make myself cry for some time because much as it hurts, crying is remembering.
Fortunately for me my brain knows better and refuses to continue on that sad path. As you say; the happy memories are there and brought out frequently to be polished. May they never succumb to the very real truth of your signature line.
 
You are very brave Underock and and extremely fortunate to have had those many years with your beloved wife. Crying does hurt a lot, but it also heals. All the best to you.
 

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