Children's mental health

Capt Lightning

Capt Lightning

Well-known Member
Location
Historic Buchan, Scotland
There have been various trailers on British TV and articles in the media highlighting the deterioration of mental health in children, some under 5!

This seems like a strange concept to me. I don't recall as a child or young adult having 'mental health' issues that required specialist treatment - more like a kick in the rear and told to sort yourself out! Now kids apparently have anxiety problems, low self esteem, gender identity issues, suicidal thoughts etc..

Mrs. L attributes this to too much news. The real problem, she says, is that young people may not have acquired the skills to separate out the truth from fiction, serious from trivial, relevant from unimportant etc.. so, faced with a barrage of gloom and doom from the news media, they tend to see the worst case scenario as a dead cert.

I think it's down to children being pressured to grow up too quickly and not have the chance to enjoy childhood until they're ready to move on.
 

Capt Lightning said:
There have been various trailers on British TV and articles in the media highlighting the deterioration of mental health in children, some under 5!

This seems like a strange concept to me. I don't recall as a child or young adult having 'mental health' issues that required specialist treatment - more like a kick in the rear and told to sort yourself out! Now kids apparently have anxiety problems, low self esteem, gender identity issues, suicidal thoughts etc..

Mrs. L attributes this to too much news. The real problem, she says, is that young people may not have acquired the skills to separate out the truth from fiction, serious from trivial, relevant from unimportant etc.. so, faced with a barrage of gloom and doom from the news media, they tend to see the worst case scenario as a dead cert.

I think it's down to children being pressured to grow up too quickly and not have the chance to enjoy childhood until they're ready to move on.
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True. Unfortunately, though, I also think that parents, at least mine and others I knew back in the day, didn't back then care or even realize that they should care as much about their children's mental health. My memory of those days was my parents spending all their time worrying about money, especially my father since he had to support mistresses as well as his kids and (current) wife. It was this pervasive attitude all the time of "You kids are just lucky I even brought you into this world. Stop complaining!"
 
When I hear about an "expert" telling me about any large group within our society having some type of 'Mental Health Issue' my first assumption is that the person(s) making this claim is the probably themselves the real "Problem"!

Get specifics who are these "various trailers on British TV", what exactly are they claiming, and most important "what expert source provided them with this diagnosis?" Doing this research will most likely resolve the issue...
 

officerripley said:
True. Unfortunately, though, I also think that parents, at least mine and others I knew back in the day, didn't back then care or even realize that they should care as much about their children's mental health. My memory of those days was my parents spending all their time worrying about money, especially my father since he had to support mistresses as well as his kids and (current) wife. It was this pervasive attitude all the time of "You kids are just lucky I even brought you into this world. Stop complaining!"
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I first experienced depression, tho i didn't realize what it was at the time around 10-11yrs old. My first suicidal thoughts manifested by 13 (age of 1st attempt). One Aunt realized but between Mom not wanting to see it because her concern was how it reflected on her, and her concerns about cost of checking with professionals, i never talked to one till i was leaving VISTA at age19, no longer a child tho legally a minor.

I see no reason other forms of mental illness in would not be possible too. However, it is also highly possible that many things are over diagnosed. And Mrs. L has a point about the impact of living in 24/7 news environment but i would argue that part of raising a child is giving them the skills to separate fact and fiction, to be discerning about sources of supposed 'news'.

My Dad did that for me by the time i went to school in fall of 1952, when our news sources were radio and newspapers. By the time i was raising mine we had TV as well. I approached it same as my Dad from early ages, and my basic principle was if they can ask a question, they deserve an answer. But first be sure what they are asking and don't give more detail than asked.

Most times the clarified question did not require an answer that i felt they weren't capable of grasping. The process of clarifying can be instructive, helps them learn words matter and how to ask better questions. Also can give parents insight into the child's emotional attachment to the topic how they're feeling about whatever.

Funny how people never seem to consider the impact of viewing children as property and extensions of themselves, of child labor, and the 'should be seen, not heard' philosophy might have had on current generations.
 
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they certainly have not run out of mental health in adults but get them early and convince them life long therapy ...
it is the thing to do now. earlier to get them doing something the longer the payments can you say vacation homes for therapists.

Banks ( chase commercial) wanting parents to get elementary age kids a debit card.... to build that they stay Chase customers ...
kids were never that upset until media/ social media tells them if they are not anxious about everything they are not normal
 
I don't know whether i should envy or feel sorry for-- maybe a bit of both-- people who seem to think that because they never saw issues or problems in the lives around them that such things are new. While some things (both mental and physical) get overdiagnosed other things went way underdiagnosed for decades.

As someone who saw the profound long term effects of child abuse in a Children's Home on my 3 older half sister's, i can tell you not everyone has a 'Mayberry' idyllic childhood.
 
No, not everyone had an idyllic childhood. We did not realize, and they probably did not either, that a lot of us had a parent dealing with PTSD after WW2. My father raised us like he was some sort of sadistic drill sergeant doing things like waking us up with loud bangs on a metal pan near our beds or yanking the covers off of us and physically overpowering my brother when he was only 3 or 4 years old. There was a lot we did not realize back then.
 
I shall refrain from giving my opinion on other peoples kids.

When I was 5 years old, I had major issues.
I wasnā€™t born with major issues except for being a blue baby ( having the birth chord wrapped around my neck )

Iā€™d be more surprised if I didnā€™t have issues by 5.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
I shall refrain from giving my opinion on other peoples kids.

When I was 5 years old, I had major issues.
I wasnā€™t born with major issues except for being a blue baby ( having the birth chord wrapped around my neck )

Iā€™d be more surprised if I didnā€™t have issues by 5.
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Was rushing and my finger tapped the laugh when aiming for hug. Have fixed.
 
Jeni said:
they certainly have not run out of mental health in adults but get them early and convince them life long therapy ...
it is the thing to do now. earlier to get them doing something the longer the payments can you say vacation homes for therapists.

Banks ( chase commercial) wanting parents to get elementary age kids a debit card.... to build that they stay Chase customers ...
kids were never that upset until media/ social media tells them if they are not anxious about everything they are not normal
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Hmmm. You seem to hold a rather dim view of therapists. While, as in any profession, we have some less than salubrious practitioners, the majority of us choose this career because we truly wish to help people. As for vacation

homes, I certainly have never been able to afford one. Many of us incorporate pro bono work into our practice. We believe in a life of service.
 
Shalimar said:
Hmmm. You seem to hold a rather dim view of therapists. While, as in any profession, we have some less than salubrious practitioners, the majority of us choose this career because we truly wish to help people. As for vacation

homes, I certainly have never been able to afford one. Many of us incorporate pro bono work into our practice. We believe in a life of service.
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i know like any profession there are good and bad .... as you noted i have only personally dealt with the worst of the profession IMO.
 
Shalimar said:
Hmmm. You seem to hold a rather dim view of therapists. While, as in any profession, we have some less than salubrious practitioners, the majority of us choose this career because we truly wish to help people. As for vacation

homes, I certainly have never been able to afford one. Many of us incorporate pro bono work into our practice. We believe in a life of service.
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Just because some truly wish to help people does not mean they are any good at it.
I've been in therapy a billion years, and my current therapist is the first one to actually help me.
Go figure. I always certainly, genuinely wanted the help.
 
I grew up in a small town. I stuttered and had a lisp. I also had chipped one of my front teeth and had a silver cap on it.

These issues were a lot to deal with when I was younger. As you can imagine I was teased excessively. Like most kids of my time, we just dealt with whatever challenges we had. I do not recall any teachers or adults in my life trying to help me overcome my speech problems. My parents just ignored it. My big sister did not tease me about it, she actually was the only one who tried to help me overcome it. We fought about most everything else, but on that issue, she was great support for me.

We moved to a big city right before I started 9th grade. I had stopped the lisp by then and was able to somewhat control my stuttering. By the time I was in high school the next year I had pretty much stopped stuttering except in stressful situations...

My point here is that kids are more resilient than most adults think. For me overcoming these early challenges strengthened me in ways I never imagined. No doubt having a speech therapist would have helped me quicker. But I cannot say for sure that this was a better answer than letting me work it out on my own...
 
I can well remember being viciously bullied by a group of other children back in elementary school. Back then, there were no school counselors or anti-bullying programs, and boys in particular were expected to ā€œsuck it upā€ when it came to mistreatment by other children. Fortunately, my classroom teacher picked up on what was going on, and put a stop to it. I am eternally grateful to that perceptive and daring woman who bridged the gapā€¦
 
Timewise 60+ said:
My point here is that kids are more resilient than most adults think. For me overcoming these early challenges strengthened me in ways I never imagined. No doubt having a speech therapist would have helped me quicker. But I cannot say for sure that this was a better answer than letting me work it out on my own...
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Studies show that the key factor in resilience is having at least one person in the child's life who loves them unconditionally, but also cares enough to explain about consequences of words and deeds. Someone who cares enough to at least try to help them with difficulties (like your sister; sometimes it is a member of extended family or a teacher).

Some kids don't ever even get that and are so damaged by time Child Services becomes involved that even if they get one of the very caring social workers and then foster parents they don't trust either adults or their own perceptions/emotions enough to accept the caring and support as 'real'.

Yes, everyone has some kinds kinds of difficulties in life learning to deal well using healthy coping mechanisms is a fact of life. It is also a fact fact of life that there are multigenerational issues that never get dealt with in healthy ways, just passed on to the next generation. And there are more children who grow up in such families than some on this thread can (edit: or seem not to) grasp. Children who are abused in various ways by various adults who should have been protecting and caring for them , teaching them how to deal with life.

Keep in mind within the last century children with Downs Syndrome were being institutionalized and they were not pleasant places. Even children on high functioning end of Autism Spectrum were often institutionalized. It was probably a good thing many Boomers and Gen Xers went undiagnosed until adulthood, and that there were parents like Temple Grandin's Mother who refused the 'expert' advice. BTW, most of those who did well, had that one person they knew they could trust.
 
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feywon said:
Studies show that the key factor in resilience is having at least one person in the child's life who loves them unconditionally, but also cares enough to explain about consequences of words and deeds. Someone who cares enough to at least try to help them with difficulties (like your sister; sometimes it is a member of extended family or a teacher).
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So true; I remember one of the studies that was done in Ohio. IIRC, it was either 100 percent or close to it that proved that point. In some cases, it was a grandparent, aunt or uncle, older-than-them cousin, kind-hearted neighbor, coach, teacher, etc. And it could be offspring of the same parents and household and what the deciding factor of which kid(s) got the one person and which kid(s) didn't was just plain old luck.
 
DebraMae said:
No, not everyone had an idyllic childhood. We did not realize, and they probably did not either, that a lot of us had a parent dealing with PTSD after WW2. My father raised us like he was some sort of sadistic drill sergeant doing things like waking us up with loud bangs on a metal pan near our beds or yanking the covers off of us and physically overpowering my brother when he was only 3 or 4 years old. There was a lot we did not realize back then.
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I can agree with this. To a point. I looked up my bio-dad because I thought I remembered my oldest brother telling me had had been a POW of the Japanese. I thought his first name was the same as my oldest brother and I was right. I was born with a rather unusual last name. He came up on the POW web sites I found. One saying he had one of the longest incarcerations.

That however doesn't excuse that he was never there for me. When I still had visitation, I remember saying something disparaging about my mother. (her abuse and raging started after she married my passive stepfather) I won't repeat it though I remember the words. It was something a 7 YO would say. To me it would have been a red flag. But instead of showing concern for his 7 YO child, this 47 YO man told my mother what I said. Never caring the abuse it unleashed on me. And it did. He just used me to get at her. I'm not 100% sure but I do believe this is when the visitations stopped. And he never tried to see us kids.

My empathy on goes so far and frankly not very.
 
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