Christian pastor/client teaches me empathy in an usual way.

[Shalimar]

Sometimes the client schools the teacher. I have a client who happens to be a pastor. Lovely man, but many years ago his whole family were murdered by a psychopathic “friend.” Obviously he is severely affected, even now. Periodically, he visits me to exorcise his demons until they rise again. We have marvellous discussions on

theology, sociology, the nature of forgiveness, etc. I thought I was adept at empathising with most people regardless of creed, colour, race etc, until he asked me why, since I deal with so many refugees, (most of them Muslim) am I not joining in wearing a hijab for the month of Ramadan, as many non Muslims are, in

order to gain further understanding? Why am I not walking the talk? Whew, did that send me into a tailspin. After much thought, and a lengthy discussion with my boss, who is Muslim, I took the plunge. Initially, I was

afraid, I worried about being the target of Islamophobia. It has been almost two weeks, and other than some odd looks, and muttered comments, nothing untoward has occurred. Even if it had, the expression on the

faces of some of my refugee clients, particularly the children, has made it worthwhile. I look forward to continuing my journey.

 

[Toomuchstuff]

That proves my belief that we're never too old to learn !

 

[Shalimar]

That proves my belief that we're never too old to learn !

You are so right!

 

[Ruthanne]

Sometimes the client schools the teacher. I have a client who happens to be a pastor. Lovely man, but many years ago his whole family were murdered by a psychopathic “friend.” Obviously he is severely affected, even now. Periodically, he visits me to exorcise his demons until they rise again. We have marvellous discussions on

theology, sociology, the nature of forgiveness, etc. I thought I was adept at empathising with most people regardless of creed, colour, race etc, until he asked me why, since I deal with so many refugees, (most of them Muslim) am I not joining in wearing a hijab for the month of Ramadan, as many non Muslims are, in

order to gain further understanding? Why am I not walking the talk? Whew, did that send me into a tailspin. After much thought, and a lengthy discussion with my boss, who is Muslim, I took the plunge. Initially, I was

afraid, I worried about being the target of Islamophobia. It has been almost two weeks, and other than some odd looks, and muttered comments, nothing untoward has occurred. Even if it had, the expression on the

faces of some of my refugee clients, particularly the children, has made it worthwhile. I look forward to continuing my journey.

**************

 

[Keesha]

Way to go Shalimar. This is a great way to show & support.
Im so proud of you. :heart:

I have some questions but I’m scared that they might come across as politically incorrect.

 

[Shalimar]

Way to go Shalimar. This is a great way to show & support.
Im so proud of you. :heart:

I have some questions but I’m scared that they might come across as politically incorrect.

Merci, cher amie. It is a new sensation to check my white privilege as my son says. Please feel free to ask any questions you

wish. I trust your heart. It feels odd to wear such loose clothing, normally my clothes are form fitting. Being small, I tend to disappear in flowing garments. However, I can’t wear tight clothes while sporting a hijab, it would be disrespectful. One of my refugee clients, a Yazidi, not a Muslim, lent me one of her most prized garments, a beautifully embroidered long dress, a

gift from her late husband on the day her first child was born. We wept together. I will return it after the close of Ramadan. Another client, A Syrian, lent me four silk hijabs. Such kindness.

 

[StarSong]

Merci, cher amie. It is a new sensation to check my white privilege as my son says. Please feel free to ask any questions you

wish. I trust your heart. It feels odd to wear such loose clothing, normally my clothes are form fitting. Being small, I tend to disappear in flowing garments. However, I can’t wear tight clothes while sporting a hijab, it would be disrespectful. One of my refugee clients, a Yazidi, not a Muslim, lent me one of her most prized garments, a beautifully embroidered long dress, a

gift from her late husband on the day her first child was born. We wept together. I will return it after the close of Ramadan. Another client, A Syrian, lent me four silk hijabs. Such kindness.

I look forward to reading about your experiences this month. Question: Are you not concerned that some would be offended, that they would see your donning of Muslim attire as "cultural appropriation"?

 

[Shalimar]

I look forward to reading about your experiences this month. Question: Are you not concerned that some would be offended, that they would see your donning of Muslim attire as "cultural appropriation"?

Good question! Actually, we are invited by the Muslim communities across the country to wear the hijab as a way of promoting better understanding between the Muslim community and others. They received my decision with open arms. I frequently also wear

the two piece embroidered Pakistani suits, the South Asian community reacts with smiles and compliments. Such things are viewed as a tribute to different cultures rather than an appropriation. Perhaps living in a multicultural country fosters this?
I also have a genuine Cowichan Tribes Indian sweater. These handmade treasures are world famous.

 

[CarolfromTX]

You lost me at "white privilege." Wearing a hijab if you're not Muslim smacks of virtue signaling, but if it makes you feel better, go for it. I'd be a little more impressed if you also undergo the dietary restrictions, but since it's al just for show anyway, what the heck. Would you do the same for a member of a Christian sect who wears non-standard clothing?

 

[StarSong]

Sometimes the client schools the teacher. I have a client who happens to be a pastor. Lovely man, but many years ago his whole family were murdered by a psychopathic “friend.” Obviously he is severely affected, even now. Periodically, he visits me to exorcise his demons until they rise again. We have marvellous discussions on theology, sociology, the nature of forgiveness, etc.

I thought I was adept at empathising with most people regardless of creed, colour, race etc, until he asked me why, since I deal with so many refugees, (most of them Muslim) am I not joining in wearing a hijab for the month of Ramadan, as many non Muslims are, in order to gain further understanding? Why am I not walking the talk? Whew, did that send me into a tailspin. After much thought, and a lengthy discussion with my boss, who is Muslim, I took the plunge. Initially, I was
afraid, I worried about being the target of Islamophobia.

It has been almost two weeks, and other than some odd looks, and muttered comments, nothing untoward has occurred. Even if it had, the expression on the faces of some of my refugee clients, particularly the children, has made it worthwhile. I look forward to continuing my journey.

You lost me at "white privilege." Wearing a hijab if you're not Muslim smacks of virtue signaling, but if it makes you feel better, go for it. I'd be a little more impressed if you also undergo the dietary restrictions, but since it's al just for show anyway, what the heck. Would you do the same for a member of a Christian sect who wears non-standard clothing?

Carol, perhaps you missed Shalimar's intent and the context of what's going on in her community. She clearly said, "...he asked me why, since I deal with so many refugees, (most of them Muslim) am I not joining in wearing a hijab for the month of Ramadan, as many non Muslims are, in order to gain further understanding?"

In a later post she said, "Actually, we are invited by the Muslim communities across the country to wear the hijab as a way of promoting better understanding between the Muslim community and others. They received my decision with open arms."

Context is everything in a case like this. Evidently on Vancouver Island, Canada, some non-Muslim women are wearing hijabs during Ramadan in solidarity with their Muslim sisters, and that practice is embraced by the Muslim community.

Perhaps one day the US will be equally open minded.

 

[Buckeye]

Is it a two way street? How do the Muslims support their Christian sisters? Do any of them wear a gold cross? Or is it just for you to try to understand them?

 

[CarolfromTX]

I don't see how dressing up in a hijab furthers understanding. I could dress up as a ballerina or a geisha and it wouldn't further my understanding of ballet or Japanese culture, and I sure would look silly. But if you want to play dress-up, go right ahead. If ever you come to Texas, be sure to wear boots, jeans, and a Stetson and see how much better your understanding is.

 

[CarolfromTX]

is it a two way street? How do the muslims support their christian sisters? Do any of them wear a gold cross? Or is it just for you to try to understand them?

exactly!

 

[Shalimar]

I don't see how dressing up in a hijab furthers understanding. I could dress up as a ballerina or a geisha and it wouldn't further my understanding of ballet or Japanese culture. But if you want to play dress-up, go right ahead. If ever you come to Texas, be sure to wear boots, jeans, and a Stetson and see how much better your understanding is.

Wow, such anger and contempt. I live in a culture which celebrates multiculturalism, our immigration minister is Muslim, originally from Somalia. I am a psychotherapist who works with Syrian refugees, particularly children suffering from PTSD. My

boss is a Muslim. So I work with and for Muslims. I have Muslim friends. Wearing a hijab allows me a window into a world which I would not otherwise see. Most people are fine with it, but I have seen the tight lips on some, and heard the whispers. So it is far from “dress up.” Do you know any Muslims personally? Or is your only connection the media coverage of extremists/terrorists?

 

[StarSong]

I don't see how dressing up in a hijab furthers understanding. I could dress up as a ballerina or a geisha and it wouldn't further my understanding of ballet or Japanese culture. But if you want to play dress-up, go right ahead. If ever you come to Texas, be sure to wear boots, jeans, and a Stetson and see how much better your understanding is.

She didn't specify what understanding would be gained by wearing a hijab, but I suspect it has to do with how it might feel to be marginalized or stared at for wearing obvious Muslim apparel in an overwhelmingly Christian nation.

Is it a two way street? How do the Muslims support their Christian sisters? Do any of them wear a gold cross? Or is it just for you to try to understand them?

You're kidding, right? A Muslim woman need only wear typical western street clothes without a hijab to experience how it would feel to be a non-Muslim in Canada.

 

[Shalimar]

You lost me at "white privilege." Wearing a hijab if you're not Muslim smacks of virtue signaling, but if it makes you feel better, go for it. I'd be a little more impressed if you also undergo the dietary restrictions, but since it's al just for show anyway, what the heck. Would you do the same for a member of a Christian sect who wears non-standard clothing?

With respect, I am not out to impress anyone. Who are you, who does not know me, to decide that “it’s all for show?” Based on this post, I could jump to conclusions, call you out for Islamophobia, would that be appropriate? Yes, I would do the same for Christians.

 

[Shalimar]

She didn't specify what understanding would be gained by wearing a hijab, but I suspect it has to do with how it might feel to be marginalized or stared at for wearing obvious Muslim apparel in an overwhelmingly Christian nation.



You're kidding, right? A Muslim woman need only wear typical western street clothes without a hijab to experience how it would feel to be a non-Muslim in Canada.

Absolutely.

 

[Shalimar]

One thing I have learned from reading a few comments, mutual understanding is a long way off for some. I must admit, I was taken aback by the anger. I live in a different country, with it’s own culture, yet my behaviour was personalised, dismissed, and ridiculed. Why?

 

[CarolfromTX]

Wow, such anger and contempt. I live in a culture which celebrates multiculturalism, our immigration minister is Muslim, originally from Somalia. I am a psychotherapist who works with Syrian refugees, particularly children suffering from PTSD. My

boss is a Muslim. So I work with and for Muslims. I have Muslim friends. Wearing a hijab allows me a window into a world which I would not otherwise see. Most people are fine with it, but I have seen the tight lips on some, and heard the whispers. So it is far from “dress up.” Do you know any Muslims personally? Or is your only connection the media coverage of extremists/terrorists?

Yes, I do know a Muslim or two, not that it matters. Your virtue signaling is amusing. Seen tight lips and heard the whispers? I'd probably see the same thing if I dressed up as a ballerina. LOL! Y'all demand diversity in everything but thought. I think you are cowtowing to a politically correct culture. I don't have to dress up to be tolerant of other cultures.

 

[CarolfromTX]

One thing I have learned from reading the comments of some posters, understanding is a long way off for some. I must admit, I was taken aback by the anger. I live in a different country, yet my behaviour was personalised, dismissed, and ridiculed. Why?

I'm not angry, just amused. I have a different point of view, which you clearly cannot stand to hear. Don't be such a snowflake.

 

[Buckeye]

She didn't specify what understanding would be gained by wearing a hijab, but I suspect it has to do with how it might feel to be marginalized or stared at for wearing obvious Muslim apparel in an overwhelmingly Christian nation.



You're kidding, right? A Muslim woman need only wear typical western street clothes without a hijab to experience how it would feel to be a non-Muslim in Canada.

Sorry, but I asked specifically about Christian sisters and how they are supported by Muslims women, because typical western street clothes do not identify anyone as Christian. So it is clear based on your answer that it is, in fact, a one way street. So you suppose your Muslim sisters in Somalia would dare wear that gold cross in public?

 

[Shalimar]

Yes, I do know a Muslim or two, not that it matters. Your virtue signaling is amusing. Seen tight lips and heard the whispers? I'd probably see the same thing if I dressed up as a ballerina. LOL! Y'all demand diversity in everything but thought. I think you are cowtowing to a politically correct culture. I don't have to dress up to be tolerant of other cultures.

Now you are slamming my country? Denigrating my culture? Have you read the forum rules which clearly state that is not permitted? When you sneeringly remarked about how Texans would view me, I didn’t slam the Lone Star state, not have I

suggested that Americans should follow my lead. I am in the compassion business, hardly a career for poseurs. As for “kowtowing to a politically correct culture,” mais non. With such a diverse population, there are many schools of thought, the one thing that most Canadians do kowtow to is courtesy. We are a nation of debaters, it is a national sport, not a slanging match. Have a nice day.

 

[Olivia]

So you suppose your Muslim sisters in Somalia would dare wear that gold cross in public?​

Exactly. That's why what Shalimar is doing is so important. This is all of our's planet. And it's not just Texas or one or another location on this earth that is more important than others. Anyone of us could have been born elsewhere. Just remember that. In the end we are all one. And we can all die as one, too.

 

[Shalimar]

Sorry, but I asked specifically about Christian sisters and how they are supported by Muslims women, because typical western street clothes do not identify anyone as Christian. So it is clear based on your answer that it is, in fact, a one way street. So you suppose your Muslim sisters in Somalia would dare wear that gold cross in public?

When a young Christian woman with three children was living in a local shelter to escape an abusive husband, it was a Muslim woman, a volunteer at the shelter, who invited her to stay with their family until she was back on her feet. I think that is far more important than wearing a gold cross. As for the Somali psychiatrist who is my boss, she fosters three children, all of them Christian. She takes them to Sunday School every week.

 

[Shalimar]

Exactly. That's why what Shalimar is doing is so important. This is all of our's planet. And it's not just Texas or one or another location on this earth that is more important than others. Anyone of us could have been born elsewhere. Just remember that. In the end we are all one. And we can all die as one, too.

Elequently put. Either all of us matter, or none of us do.