Church Looking for a New Ladies Fellowship Leader

debodun

debodun

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Location
way upstate in New York, USA
A few years ago, we had a woman in charge of the church ladies fellowship when it wasn't unusual to get 15 to 20 women out for the fellowship meetings. We shared a devotion, had a snack and played games. Then the pastor suddenly replaced her with another leader saying he wanted the ladies to get out and do more community service and mission orientated work instead of being a self-serving group.

At the last fellowship meeting, only the group leader, I and another woman showed up. Now the pastor is looking for yet another woman to lead the fellowship. I thought that it was because they decided to switch the group's purpose. It went from being fun and games to work so there was a loss of interest. The along with the pastor, the church board agrees that the fellowship to be more of a public service group like visiting sick people in the hospital and making gift baskets for Veterans and other activities that would make the church a public presence.

I also say if they want to get people out, you have to make it fun.
 

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I think you’re right Deb. People want to be happy if they are going to invest their time into an organization and ‘fun’ should to be considered. Perhaps you could point out the lack of attendance.
Ask them what they think the problem is.
Ive no doubt you’ll figure something out to make this work again.

Good luck.
 
Mike said:
Visiting the sick is not a group/club thing unles
you know and like the person, this is the Pastor's
job and he/she doesn't want to do the duty obviously.

Mike.
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Strongly agree. If I were sick or shut in or whatever, I wouldn't want people I barely know making me the object of their good deed. Actually, when I'm really sick, I don't want to see anyone but close family. Period.
 
Why can't it be both fellowship and service-oriented projects?

IMO the say a prayer get a cookie type of gathering is shallow and self-serving.
 
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Aunt Bea said:
Why can't it be both fellowship and service-oriented projects?

IMO the say a prayer get a cookie type of gathering is shallow and self-serving.
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Sorry, I don’t mean any disrespect, but I disagree. Fellowship groups in church usually behave in this manner. It’s nice to get together with other members of the church and have a light lunch or snack, prayer together or tell a story that had some type of impact on their life.

If the Pastor wanted an outreach group, he should stipulate that, but that’s really not what a fellowship group does in most churches.
 
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Our ladies fellowship had now disbanded itself. When it was active it supported church activities - mission projects, flowers, refreshments after church, cleaning rosters, baking and sewing to raise money and monthly fellowship meetings. The minister knew that the prime directive was 'don't mess with the ladies fellowship'. Deb's minister should have left well enough alone and recognised the autonomy of the ladies.
 
oldman said:
Sorry, I don’t mean any disrespect, but I disagree. Fellowship groups in church usually behave in this manner. It’s nice to get together with other members of the church and have a light lunch or snack, prayer together or tell a story that had some type of impact on their life.

If the Pastor wanted an outreach group, he should stipulate that, but that’s really not what a fellowship group does in most churches.
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IMO expressing a different opinion is not disrespectful.

Warrigal's comment struck a chord with me when she said: "Deb's minister should have left well enough alone and recognised the autonomy of the ladies."

I have to agree that the fellowship group should be anything that the ladies want it to be without any interference from the pastor or from me.

What I will say is that such a group would not appeal to me.
 
Aunt Bea said:
Why can't it be both fellowship and service-oriented projects?

IMO the say a prayer get a cookie type of gathering is shallow and self-serving.
Click to expand...
Sometimes there is a place or a need for shallow and self-serving. The people participating have the right to choose. It's how they want to spend their own time and should be allowed to decide for themselves. Not everyone is cut out to be a martyr,
 
Lots of churches here have halls, some have turned
them into cafés and most Catholic ones sell booze,
so there is a need for church people mingling, some
have no family left and the church has taken on that
role, mainly the congregation, I know that my mother
used the church a lot more after my father died, she
cleaned it, sorted flowers and did their ironing, that
church didn't have any group like the one being talked
about here, nor did it have a hall, so three or four women
would meet there to do jobs.

Mike.
 
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RadishRose said:
Visiting the sick is a pastoral duty. One is trained in pastoral care.

Jesus is recorded as saying to "visit the sick and imprisoned" Forcing unwilling ladies to assume that role without proper training is not fair to the sick person either.
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Plus, visiting sick people in hospitals, nursing homes or even sick peoples homes puts undue pressure on your fellowship. They are exposing themselves to various germs and viruses which could potentially get them sick. Perhaps finding ways to help them without actually visiting might be a better alternative.
 
Aunt Bea said:
IMO expressing a different opinion is not disrespectful.

Warrigal's comment struck a chord with me when she said: "Deb's minister should have left well enough alone and recognised the autonomy of the ladies."

I have to agree that the fellowship group should be anything that the ladies want it to be without any interference from the pastor or from me.

What I will say is that such a group would not appeal to me.
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Aunt Bea——I have the upmost respect for you and your posts, so I wanted you to know that I do appreciate and respect your posts.
 
I would like to point out that there is middle ground here. Get together, have lunch or dinner, play games, but maybe once a month let the ladies (not the pastor) pick a project to work on. And I would point out to the minister that not all groups require some charitable work -- fellowship is a good thing, too.
 
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To me, "ladies fellowship" implies "hen party".

Let me add that the men's fellowship hasn't met in over a year and when they did it was just to have breakfast and chat about whatever men talk about. The men could also have a hand in getting the church to be a public presence like the pastor would like.
 
Try a Church Fete, or a Garden Tea Party,
even a Childrens Day with sand pits to play
in and races to win.

Any of those would be noticed by the public
if they were advertised properly.

Mike.
 
Since it was a ladies fellowship, and you were fellowshipping, the pastor should have kept his nose out of it. If he wanted a community service group he could have begun a men's group himself. Sounds like he preempted the group because he couldn't drum up enough interest to organize one. I know. He's already too "busy". Blah.
 

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