Complaining. (How Often Do You Do It?)

As someone living alone for decades, I infrequently have others to directly complain about whatever issues to others about. So little issue with complaining. Of course, will do so herein that is trivial. Our misguided modern world is on its way to a dystopian future and when given a chance, I have no issue damning those that control it. In any case the subject is meaningless when posed so broadly.
 

David777 said:
Our misguided modern world is on its way to a dystopian future and when given a chance, I have no issue damning those that control it.
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That sounds like an indirect complaint, but I share your pessimism. Recently I saw a page aspiring to speak to the meaning-crisis that had a picture of some huge city in the dark, lights blazing away, and looking wet and resembling a film noir adorning its page. I thought, "That's it!"

For someone who has lived in the country most of his life, or at most on the edge of a minor city, such a scene is horrific. I feel uncomfortable in any large city like London, New York, or the like. That, to me, is in itself dystopia. In a similar way, I was in a harbour looking at some huge cruise ship, resembling a honeycomb, and the people like bees. Claustrophobia rose in my breast and I had to turn away.
 
David777 said:
As someone living alone for decades, I infrequently have others to directly complain about whatever issues to others about. So little issue with complaining. Of course, will do so herein that is trivial. Our misguided modern world is on its way to a dystopian future and when given a chance, I have no issue damning those that control it. In any case the subject is meaningless when posed so broadly.
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You donā€™t have to have an audience in order to complain. You can complain to yourself or come to this site and complain like youā€™ve done here.

The subject isnā€™t meaningless . I think complaining can morph into a bad habit that some people donā€™t even notice doing, as you can note from the replies.

You might not notice youā€™re a complainer but rest assured, others do.
 
I guess everyone has like a thermostat that triggers at some point when our preferences are not met. Sometimes it is very important that the complaint is shared, because it could be an important complaint about a product, or some service that is bad. It could even be dangerous, so complaining is imperative. Others thermostat goes off at the drop of a dime. Complaining about every little thing. Maybe there is something like "skillful" complaining.? :)
 
I usually keep my complaints to myself - nobody wants to hear them and frankly I doubt anyone really cares all that much. My Wife says she rarely complains, but gosh she sure does gripe a lot.
 
For the last few months, my complaining has decreased. Iā€™m more aware of my thoughts and what comes out of my month. If Iā€™m in a bad mood, I try very hard not to take it out on others. I try very hard to have an attitude of gratitude knowing full well, that things could be worse.

Ive found a pleasant station on television that plays nice relaxing music and adds beautiful Bible verses every 5 minutes. There is also beautiful scenery of flowers, birds, insects and landscapes. Itā€™s a nice change from Dan Gibson solitudes.

Over the last couple of months Iā€™ve stopped being a compulsive complainer but itā€™s not been without effort. It takes effort. For the record, thatā€™s not a complaint. Itā€™s a fact.
 
A timely question.....
When I complain, it's usually a one time shot, often blended with sarcasm. If its something I can "fix", I work on it, otherwise I would just as soon not mention it anymore (as that makes me feel down).

My Wife on the other hand complains a lot. Usually the same things, and usually nothing that can be done about them (by us), or things that happened years/decades ago. The ironic thing is she often says, I'm not whining, but....

To complicate things, my Wife is slowly sinking into dementia (as her Mother and Uncles, Cousin have). If you met her you would not know it, but being with her for awhile it becomes evident.

So the erratic short term memory complicates things. I usually let things slide, and never argue but will correct her if it is something truly and immediately important. Thank goodness (?) I've been exposed to folks with dementia (vascular and Alzheimer's) and have learned to nicely deal with it.

Sorry, a little too much information here.....
 
Yesterday at work was terrible. I ended up working 12 hours. I'm sure admin might crap over the overtime. I don't care. Pay it or fire me.

But I told that ass hat of a supervisor "I just want to stop for 10 minutes, I just go and go and go" Only to later see this idiot out vaping in the front of the building slouched in a chair meant for visitors. I worked those 12 hours with only my lunch break. I returned from my break with two important things on my mind I needed to do. Only to get hit with another issue I had to immediately take care of the second I clocked back in. I'm complaining.
 
Every day - but I have a LOT of good reasons to complain. I don't usually do it in person. Usually it's online or to my family or writing a letter to someone in power to change society or the laws that govern society.

But, overall, in person, people would find me to be long-suffering. This is because I have complained in the past and you know what? PEOPLE IN POWER JUST DON'T GIVE A **** what I think.

They really don't. In MY area, they tend to be highly obsessed with what the wealthy among them think of a situation (thus the recent obsession with adding Bike Lanes to every road, which are sans bikers 99.9999% of the time).

I think the homeless maybe should pitch their tents and RVs in the Bike Lanes. Put those lanes to use.

In my area, thanks to racial politics, it also does not help that I am White. I think a White woman of a certain age complaining about anything comes across as a Privileged, spoiled person whining, just because of the politics of race here, so I tend to not complain.

When I turned 65 I kind of thought, "Wow. Now maybe I'm out of White Privileged Stereotype. I live in Senior Housing, I drive a very old car, I still go to the Food Banks sometimes, and now I'm among the Senior Poors. Maybe I won't be so negatively stereotyped by the rest of society anymore? Maybe?"

But mostly, I don't tend to complain a lot in public because it doesn't do any good. Many people in power are COLD-HEARTED. That's all I have learned about life for sure so far.

I still complain more than most - some situations are so outrageous in their injustice and incompetence that I cannot keep silent. But even with that, Oh my God, there is still so much more I could say, but I don't. No one who cares is listening.
 
I complain without voicing it. If I were to voice it, I am sure I would be accused of being anti-social, negative, grumpy, immature, or some other idiotic thing by people who just like to hate on honest complainers.
 
Mobilman44 said:
A timely question.....
When I complain, it's usually a one time shot, often blended with sarcasm. If its something I can "fix", I work on it, otherwise I would just as soon not mention it anymore (as that makes me feel down).

My Wife on the other hand complains a lot. Usually the same things, and usually nothing that can be done about them (by us), or things that happened years/decades ago. The ironic thing is she often says, I'm not whining, but....

To complicate things, my Wife is slowly sinking into dementia (as her Mother and Uncles, Cousin have). If you met her you would not know it, but being with her for awhile it becomes evident.

So the erratic short term memory complicates things. I usually let things slide, and never argue but will correct her if it is something truly and immediately important. Thank goodness (?) I've been exposed to folks with dementia (vascular and Alzheimer's) and have learned to nicely deal with it.

Sorry, a little too much information here.....
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Itā€™s good that youā€™ve had experience with people with dementia. Itā€™s not easy dealing with loved ones who have this. Having no relatives, no grandparents, no uncles or aunts, I didnā€™t get the experience that most people get. After my mom had a stroke, she became outwardly aggressive and I took it personally.
A couple of times , I really snapped at her and now go over and over how I should have down better.

My husband tries to help by saying most families go through it at some time in their life. Heā€™ll add examples from his family. My last memories were loving ones but very sad loving ones. I donā€™t seem to be able to forgive myself for times I should have been more patient and understanding.

My mom is still alive but no longer communicates to anyone. My dad died and she doesnā€™t recognize my brother. Itā€™s a really sad situation. Iā€™m thousands of miles away from her so canā€™t even visit but even if I could she wonā€™t recognize me.


How did you learn to deal with this?
Do you have any tips you could offer?
 

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