Confrontation with close friends or family

Beezer

Beezer

Well-known Member
I'm putting this under the Header of 'Relationships.'

I have no qualms when it comes to confrontation with strangers...I'll stand my ground. But I find with close friends/ family I can be a bit of a pushover. I just don't like to rock the boat with those closer to me. Quite often I'll get the short end of the stick, but I'll just let it ride and move on.

Can any of you relate?
 

Depends on what the confrontation is about. I don't bother with strangers, I just walk away. (People be crazy!)

In my family there is little confrontation or arguments, so it would have to be something really serious to cause problems. But I'd like to think I'd stand my ground if I knew I was in the right.
 
Iā€™m opposite. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

Iā€™m not a confrontational sort at all. Hate it. So I will often let things slide with strangers or mere acquaintances.
But family? No. I highly value my familial relationships, theyā€™re most important of all, so if thereā€™s something that needs to be dealt with Iā€™ll wade right in and tackle it, because I wonā€™t allow any bump or issue to sully those family attachments, to turn them toxic.

When it comes to family,I will gladly suffer the brief discomfort of confrontation (and have,on a variety of occasions) in order to iron things out than I will a lifetime of unease or discomfort because of unexpressed feelings.
 
I guess I stand my ground more with strangers, because I'll probably never meet them again. Whereas I have to constantly engage with my close friends and family members.
 
I have a close buddy.

I visit regularly. We play darts, Scrabble...play music and shoot the breeze. I scored two light beers out of his fridge on Friday night to bring home because I didn't want to drink too much and drive. I purchased the last two cases of beer for his household...then he bought one case.

Then he starts busting my balls about costing him money and ragging me about taking the two beverages. I just moved and downsized my old place. I gave him a brand new wallet...a battery-operated magnifying glass for his poor near vision...bought a dart board for his living room...gave him a slow cooker appliance...lent him my shovel...gave him my stand-up freezer. I also drive him to the Pharmacy for his medication periodically.

And this is the way he behaves? Pretty petty stuff! So I decided I'd take a few nights off from visiting him. I didn't confront him about this, but I'm giving the cool response because I'm so miffed.

I know...I know...an argument over beer consumption. You know you're a redneck when.... :LOL:
 
Repeat offenders are a problem. If it's something minor, depending on what it is, maybe I can tolerate it. If it's serious, happens frequently, and they're pushing me, I'm not going to accept it and grit my teeth for the rest of my life. We're going to address it. Hopefully, it can be straightened out. If not, we'll address it again. If that doesn't work and I'm annoyed enough, I'll minimize my contact with them.

Sometimes people are unaware of what they're doing. When you address it, then they do. Once they're aware, if they continue to do it, it shows they don't care about your feelings, which means they don't respect you. If you let someone get away with mistreating you, they'll continue to do it.

Beez, this is obviously bothering you. It's about more than an argument over beer consumption. I think your good buddy needs a wake-up call.

Bella āœŒļø
 
Beezer said:
I have a close buddy.

I visit regularly. We play darts, Scrabble...play music and shoot the breeze. I scored two light beers out of his fridge on Friday night to bring home because I didn't want to drink too much and drive. I purchased the last two cases of beer for his household...then he bought one case.

Then he starts busting my balls about costing him money and ragging me about taking the two beverages. I just moved and downsized my old place. I gave him a brand new wallet...a battery-operated magnifying glass for his poor near vision...bought a dart board for his living room...gave him a slow cooker appliance...lent him my shovel...gave him my stand-up freezer. I also drive him to the Pharmacy for his medication periodically.

And this is the way he behaves? Pretty petty stuff! So I decided I'd take a few nights off from visiting him. I didn't confront him about this, but I'm giving the cool response because I'm so miffed.

I know...I know...an argument over beer consumption. You know you're a redneck when.... :LOL:
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when you have a Dartboard in your livingroom.... :ROFLMAO:
 
What's the use? To feel better, or very good, for a few moments? What I learned is I never should have. Someone I want to tell off badly, but.....what's the use? Never brought me anything but more despair. I'll shut up now, so wish I never bothered at all.
 
My family has always been highly volatile, and for years I was just like them. I'm really not sure the why or how but at some point I simply stopped caring, now nothing they do or say upsets me, but I also rarely talk with them, makes life much more peaceful.
 
As a child, I had no choice. I had to stand there and take my mother's rages. I've put up with too much from people. When bullied in school, I didn't tell anyone. Even when physically attacked. Because they were not safe people. Sometimes I've dealt with co-workers. I guess they think they get the best of me because I don't say anything back. But I'm not stupid.

I was taken aback a couple of years ago when I was overwhelmed and my boss asked a coworker to help me. I remember starting to say 'oh k. you're here to help me' I never even got a thank you out, she verbally attacked me and showed her anger. It was ridiculous. This bitch never misses a smoke break but apparently helping me was awful. She still works there, I just try to get along with her. I think she's terrible.
 
NorthernLight said:
I'm no good at confrontation, for various reasons. I tend to avoid people who upset me that much. They say "communication" is a good thing, but I haven't found it to be so.
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There are some people you absolutely cannot have a rational conversation with. The personality disorders are one, if not #1. My mother was one and unfortunately, my brother has become one. They are intolerable.
 

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