Contractor's grandson hyperactive

[debodun]

A man that does handyman work for me was in church last week. He was there with his out-of-control grandson in tow. The kid couldn't sit still and ran up and down in the aisles and was doing cartwheels in the vestibule. After the services, my handyman stopped by to look at a job and brought the kid. The kid was running crazy all over my yard and grabbed some bricks I had stacked up and started throwing them around. The he ran over to a pile of twigs and started trowing the over the fence into the neighbor's yard. My handyman made no attempt to control this Tasmanian Devil*. I tactfully suggested to my handyman that he should control the kid's behavior. His only reply to that issue was "It doesn't do any good." What is this kid's problem, or are all 7-year-old boys like this?

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c54SvkgQ04A

 

[jujube]

Most 7-year-old boys CAN be Tasmanian Devils on occasion but it sounds like the grandson is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) or maybe even on the spectrum. The reply "it doesn't do any good" isn't doing the child any good; even ADHD and spectrum children need consistent discipline and guidance. For many parents, it's just easier to throw their hands in the air and say "I can't do anything!" Nobody said it was easy (believe me, I've seen the results of laissez-faire attitudes about misbehavior in my own family and it ain't pretty) but it has to be done....for the child's sake, for the family's sake and for everyone else's sake.

 

[Fern]

I wonder just how many kids that are diagnosed with ADHD is for real, or just poor parenting, mainly the latter I believe.
I can remember when the 'experts' advised parents not to restrict their children's behaviour as they would be stopping their development. No wonder ADHD has become common place.

 

[SeaBreeze]

I agree with Fern, instead of giving normal rambunctious childlike behavior a name and a pill to cure it, maybe it's poor parenting. No matter how much of a brat my child was at home due to either spoiling him or just never teaching him manners, if in another's home, I would definitely not ignore such acting up and I would control the child before others had to verbally complain. Many 7 year olds can be like that Debodun, but the contractors response is very poor, and the reason behind such behavior, IMO.

 

[Shalimar]

Some children act out because of poor parenting, or problems at home. However ADHD is a real disorder. It can be managed. Usually by a combination of therapy and medication. But discipline alone won't do it, only exacerbate the problem. However,

some doctors who have little knowledge of ADHD are quick to over diagnose. After all, stoned children are compliant children, aren't they? How many kids are doped up because their non maternal/paternal parents find them to be disturbing--rather than

any real evidence of them being disturbed/abnormal. Parenting involves much more than feeding and clothing children--they need love, structure, kindness, discipline, and most important--time!

 

[SeaBreeze]

 

[Bee]

As a great grandmother of a 7 year old child diagnosed with ADHD and Autism I object strongly to putting the child's behaviour down to poor parenting, it took 4 years for my great granddaughter to be diagnosed because the pediatricians here have to take their time with various reports and tests etc etc and no child here in the U.K. is prescribed medication for the condition under the age of 7 and that is only if medication is deemed necessary and is not handed out willy nilly.

My great grandaughter only got her full diagnosis last February but the family felt right from her being just a few months old that there was something wrong.

The way my great grandaughter behaves at times is absolutely nothing to do with poor parenting skills, it is something she cannot help, I don't know what type of discipline some of you are referring to but I can assure you that discipline as such does not work, the best way is to try and distract the child........when my great grandaughter is having a melt down at home she will jump up and down on the trampoline in the garden, for other children they will hang upside down on monkey bars until the episode has passed.

Until you have walked in the shoes of parents that has a child diagnosed with ADHD or Autism or both (the two very often go together) do not be quick to judge that it is down to poor parenting skills.

 

[Shalimar]

Sadly Bee, in Canada there are still a few doctors, mostly older, who routinely prescribe heavy drugs for preschool children, often with minimal or no reliable testing. I believe that the ensuing mistrust felt by many other parents and their doctors,often result in unnecessary suffering of those children who should truly qualify as Autistic, and/ or ADHD, needlessly delaying correct

diagnosis and treatment. I know of two incidents over the past five years where this occurred. I advocated for the parents in both cases, but it wasn't pretty. We had

to call in a raft of experts to bury the prejudices of young doctors overexposed to their older colleagues faulty diagnostic processes. My doctor nephew informs me, there is a vicious battle going on in the Canadian medical profession, behind closed doors, of course.

 

[Linda]

Debodun, If I were you I'd tell the handyman not to bring his grandson on your property when he is doing the work, for liability reasons. If he is the child's main babysitter than he can sit home and watch him instead of working. If the child gets hurt and has medical insurance, they will go after YOU. Your worker/church friend might not, but the child's medical insurance will. That's how it is in California and I bet in every state. And can't speak for other countries though.

 

[Butterfly]

Debodun, If I were you I'd tell the handyman not to bring his grandson on your property when he is doing the work, for liability reasons. If he is the child's main babysitter than he can sit home and watch him instead of working. If the child gets hurt and has medical insurance, they will go after YOU. Your worker/church friend might not, but the child's medical insurance will. That's how it is in California and I bet in every state. And can't speak for other countries though.

Yup, not to mention that the child might do damage to your belongings. I can't imagine that it helps this man's business to bring a poorly behaved (for whatever reason) child with him to jobs. I wouldn't call this contractor back a second time.