Coping with life after 80

[joan321]

I am AN 81 year old woman. Several of my dear friends have died and the ones remaining are ill and disabled. Although I have children whom I see once a week I am very lonely. I wish I could come up with some ideas on how to make new friends and think of new ways to occupy myself. My physical health is fairly good, although I do get very sad and depressed. I love being around people because I can always make them laugh no matter how awful I feel. I do go to events at the senior centers, but they only last a couple of hours and there are 24 hours in each day. I would love to hear from others in my age group and perhaps gain some new friends with whom I could communicate on this forum.

 

[GeorgiaXplant]

I'm 75 and have the same problem with loneliness even though I live in my own granny flat that's under the same roof as my daughter's home. Physical health? Check. No disabilities? Check. Sad and depressed? Check!

I have a son who lives about 30 miles away and usually see him once a week, and my aunt (who will be 91 in March) is moving down here soon to be close to her son and grandson, but I live 1000 miles away from the rest of my family. My aunt will be living about 50 miles away, and while I can and do still drive, that won't last forever.

My neighbors and former clients are friendly but more friendly acquaintances than friends. I can't go to a senior center here because the ones that I could get to closed when the tax-cutting frenzy started a few years back, and it's not likely that they'll ever re-open.

My social life mainly consists of people I've "met" on this forum. I'm grateful for them and thank heaven for them every day, but wish I had a real-life friend or two.

You're not alone, trust me!

 

[Sunny]

Living in a retirement community helps. I'm in a very lively, active hi-rise building with many social activities. We have a nice party room, where there are always card games, mah jong, etc. And we have happy hours, coffee klatches, all sorts of parties, a "singles" club, a book club, and many others. This Tues. I'm going to a mardi gras party in our ballroom, with music by a dixieland jazz band, and dancing for those who are still able/willing. We are built around a golf course and also have tennis, two pools, a bowling green, and other sports and games. There is no way anyone could possibly be lonely here, unless they are determined to be.

You might consider moving to a similar type of community. It's easy to make friends and keep active.

Another thing you might try is volunteering. Since you are in good physical health, you would be very much appreciated for using your skills to help others. Schools, hospitals, organizations for the disabled, political organizations, religious places of worship and organizations, food banks, museums, etc. all need volunteers all the time.

And yes, I agree that these forums are a wonderful source of cyber-friendships. We are lucky; our parents and grandparents did not have this outlet.

 

[GeorgiaXplant]

Sunny, with all due respect, apparently you missed the part about living in subsidized housing and on an income of $12K/year that were mentioned in previous posts.

By not reading her previous posts, you also missed that she volunteers with the homeless.

As for myself, I'm hardly in a position to move anywhere, subsidized or not. I retired in July for the fourth time, but have recently agreed to go back to work two days a month for a former (now current!) client.