Counting down to moving. Suggestions please!

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
The closet at Ron's house is close to completion. Depending on how much time we can eke out to finish it up (so many details!!!) between our work and family commitments, it should be ready sometime in the next 2 - 3 weeks.

Once it's finished up, I'll have enough space to store my clothes even without the triple dresser we also need to put in there but can't because the rest of the renovation isn't complete yet and there's no room till we demolish the existing closet and bathroom.

So I'm asking for suggestions to make this transition as smooth as possible. I'll take anything..how Ron and I can navigate living together when we've both been single and not living with a significant other for 15-20 years. How to pack/transport/sort my stuff to move it over there. How to be able to share a closet with someone else without it driving me batshit crazy (that shouldn't be too hard, he's neat and tidy like me, but still.....) Please please share whatever wisdom or suggestions or ideas or cautions or encouragement you have.

This is a huge step for me. I love this man. I am profoundly grateful that we found each other, and cannot imagine my life without him in it. We are wonderfully, amazingly compatible in all the ways that count. We spend every weekend together, and I am so sad to leave and miss him a lot during the week. We talk every day, sometimes several times a day, and text back and forth a lot. We are connected in ways I never imagined such connections could exist. But still, I'm a bit anxious too. So I just want to hear all the ways to make this go as smoothly as possible, both the physical move, and also the transtion to living with someone else again.
 

Ronnie, isn't there another bedroom in that house where you could store your clothes until your master bedroom is finished? Even the laundry room.

The best suggestion I could think of is purge your stuff. Also, you can move in gradually by bringing over things in your car each time you go over there.

Truthfully, I cannot imagine that there won't be a few times when either of you may feel a bit annoyed or cranky. I see this as normal and will only be temporary.

I once read that moving to a new home is right up there with death and divorce in terms of stress. From personal experience, one of my moves was like that, but it quickly lifted.

Just my 2 cents.
 
I would pack what I needed for a two-week vacation and store everything else, as you actually need things you can take them out of storage and add them to the closet until all you have left in storage are items for the thrift shop.

For me to make a change this big I would have to maintain my financial independence. The idea that I am free and financially able to leave at any time would give me the confidence and peace of mind to stay.

Good luck to both of you!
 

RadishRose said:
Ronnie, isn't there another bedroom in that house where you could store your clothes until your master bedroom is finished? Even the laundry room.

The best suggestion I could think of is purge your stuff. Also, you can move in gradually by bringing over things in your car each time you go over there.

Truthfully, I cannot imagine that there won't be a few times when either of you may feel a bit annoyed or cranky. I see this as normal and will only be temporary.

I once read that moving to a new home is right up there with death and divorce in terms of stress. From personal experience, one of my moves was like that, but it quickly lifted.

Just my 2 cents.
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Rose, his daughter is staying with him right now, with her two kids, till her and her fiancé's house is finished....prolly another two months. We talked about waiting till she's gone, but there's really no need. Plus you just never know about construction delays, so it may be longer. Anyway they've taken over both the other bedrooms in the house so there's no extra room. The laundry room is currently filled with the after-wedding accumulation. His daughter and her husband live in a tiny house, so there's no room for them to store it. They're doing a good job of slowly going through the wedding stuff and selling much of it, but there's a lot left to go.

Yeah, we're both realist enough to know that we're going to get annoyed or cranky from time to time. We've talked about that. And agreed that the only thing to do is to talk it out, not brush it off or try to simply move past it. We talk about everything, so I don't think we've have a problem resolving those cranky periods.

I really get that about the stress of moving, both from personal experience, and from reading stuff, which is why I wanted to ask for suggestions.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I would pack what I needed for a two-week vacation and store everything else, as you actually need things you can take them out of storage and add them to the closet until all you have left in storage are items for the thrift shop.

For me to make a change this big I would have to maintain my financial independence. The idea that I am free and financially able to leave at any time would give me the confidence and peace of mind to stay.

Good luck to both of you!
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We actually talked about packing me up as though I were vacationing for a few weeks so we're on the same page there Bea.

And yes, we are not co-mingling finances. We're still working out the details of who's paying for what and contributions to the household etc., but I'm maintaining all my own bank and card accounts, and he his. We've talked about opening a joint household account, but that's as mingled as I care to get right now. And he concurs.
 
Remember to re-direct your mail address
at the post office.

Good luck with the new abode.

Mike.
 
RadishRose said:
I forgot about the other people living there. Sounds like you're prepared as you can be, Ronni. Best to you on your move!
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I hope so Rose. We're going to start moving my stuff over this weekend. We're both nervous, but excited too.

The closet is almost done, he just has to put the rods up. We'd originally planned to have the entire room finished before I moved in (new closet built, old closet and master bath demolished, new master bath built next to new closet) but when we made that plan, his daughter wasn't going to marry till 2020. Then they changed the wedding date, and we were both so involved in the wedding prep because his daughter doesn't have the best relationship with her Mom, that we just got way behind.

So currently the plan is that the new closet will be done so I can move most of my clothing and such over, but the bathroom will be the same, meaning that there's far less storage in there than we'd planned on, so I'm having to alter my plan somewhat of what to bring over and how to deal with the move. We talked about waiting to move me till the rest of the room's finished, but it will go so much faster with me there...we make a good, efficient team.

The next couple weeks are going to be pretty random and though I'm very much looking forward to living with Ron, I'm not looking forward as much to the (planned) chaos of having to find temporary places for some of my stuff and things out of order while we continue the construction. Oh well. The end result is going to be SO worth it, and we'll get that that much faster if we're together.
 
OK I did it! I moved a bunch of my stuff over, and am more or less living out of Ron's house now. A bit more stuff than what I'd pack for a two week vacation! But not all of it by a long shot..that will happen over the next little while.

We sat down and talked about areas where me might bump heads, or get in each others' way, or where a habit of his might conflict with one of mine, or vice versa. Funny, but of us had some attention on our morning routines. When I've been here on the weekend, neither of us was getting up to get ready for work, so the mornings were easy and slow and we just sort of eased into the day together. But having to navigate around someone else when we're both used to getting ready for work in a certain way, doing our own thing in peace and quiet to start the work day, was making us both a bit nervous. So basically we just decided that we'd run through these first few mornings just the way we would if we were alone, get up, make coffee, he watches the news, I get on the computer (like I am right now) he eats an early breakfast and I don't (on the w/e he makes us both a yummy full scale breakfast mid-morning that does me till dinner time) I shower he doesn't (he gets sweaty during the day doing his construction/carpentry work so he cleans up after he gets home)

So far that's working. Our individual routines seems to dovetail nicely. No major issues to report so far.

it's funny y'know, I have friends who have been married for forever, like some of you. Other friends who have been divorced or widowed for quite some time, like Ron and me and others of you here. And both sets of friends tell me they couldn't imagine having to adjust to living with someone again, getting to know someone's routines and issues and figuring all that out over again from scratch and that I'm either crazy, or brave, or both. :lol: Probably both!
 
Ronni said:
OK I did it! I moved a bunch of my stuff over, and am more or less living out of Ron's house now. A bit more stuff than what I'd pack for a two week vacation! But not all of it by a long shot..that will happen over the next little while.

We sat down and talked about areas where me might bump heads, or get in each others' way, or where a habit of his might conflict with one of mine, or vice versa. Funny, but of us had some attention on our morning routines. When I've been here on the weekend, neither of us was getting up to get ready for work, so the mornings were easy and slow and we just sort of eased into the day together. But having to navigate around someone else when we're both used to getting ready for work in a certain way, doing our own thing in peace and quiet to start the work day, was making us both a bit nervous. So basically we just decided that we'd run through these first few mornings just the way we would if we were alone, get up, make coffee, he watches the news, I get on the computer (like I am right now) he eats an early breakfast and I don't (on the w/e he makes us both a yummy full scale breakfast mid-morning that does me till dinner time) I shower he doesn't (he gets sweaty during the day doing his construction/carpentry work so he cleans up after he gets home)

So far that's working. Our individual routines seems to dovetail nicely. No major issues to report so far.

it's funny y'know, I have friends who have been married for forever, like some of you. Other friends who have been divorced or widowed for quite some time, like Ron and me and others of you here. And both sets of friends tell me they couldn't imagine having to adjust to living with someone again, getting to know someone's routines and issues and figuring all that out over again from scratch and that I'm either crazy, or brave, or both. :lol: Probably both!
Click to expand...

I'm glad for you, Ronni. It sounds like you're enjoying the process!

I'm thinking you both actually are pretty used to each other's ways by now and making a permanent move isn't going to be a huge upset. You know what you're doing.

I'm excited for you. How did the living room turn out? Where did that huge palm end up?
 

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