Cousins, how close are you to them?

S

Sliverfox

Well-known Member
Location
Northwest PA. Fifty miles south of Lake Erie.
Been trying to bring family tree up to date.
My mother was one of 7.
She would say of her oldest sister that she remembers her as always having grey hair.

Of that sister only one of her sons survive.
Other cousin's I've lost contact of.

I email with one cousin in U.K. & a third cousin who is in the U.S.

I've let my genealogy fall to the side with nicer weather.

How often do you see your cousins or communicate with them?
 

I'm close to one cousin. I think I'm the "black sheep" of the family so everyone avoids me, after I wrote my books and gave up their religion. I depend on her to let me know if there is a death in the family or anything important.
I understand my Uncle went to Australia and started a family of Gaers there, but I know nothing of them; nor do I know of any Gaers in Wales. It's kind of a shame,we scatter so far.
 
Never. It's ironic (and sad) how life changes the older we get, but I have cousins younger than me whom I babysat when they were babies, and I haven't seen them in years... decades in fact, and as for the older cousins I have that were the same age as myself... the cousins I remember spending so much time with as kids, they, too, have quietly faded from the picture.

I've come to the realisation that the cousins I was close to growing up, was the result of my parents being close with those cousins parents, and once those longstanding relationships started dissolving through age, sickness, death, and everyone leading busy lives, there was nothing left to retain the closeness among us cousins, and as silly as that may sound, when distance applies and there's no one left to bring the parties together, it's surprising how fast people move on with other interests in their lives, and that's what essentially happened in my case.

Fast-forward to the years following school, when so many of us move on to build lives for ourselves, outside of the scope of our parents, then childhood bonds are pulled apart at an even greater rate, but I found when we all reached the point and stage when we were all raising families, that's when I truly recognized the end of what I knew growing up. Daily life made it all too easy to forget, and before long, a new generation is born that you have never met, and as age sets in more and more, you get to the point where you care less and less. That's the point I reached.

And of course in covering a topic such as this, the overall nature of people and how they change with age cannot be overlooked, and while many of my cousins are grounded and well-adjusted people to this day, there's a good number who aren't, making it (once again) that much easier to have nothing to do with them.
 

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Yeah, cousins are overrated. ^^^^

My mother came from a large family - 12 kids, so I've got more cousins on that side of the family than I can remember!
I was closest to the ones near my age over the years, but as time goes by, I'm losing touch with most of them.
I see them, and their kids, and their kids' kids on Facebook, but don't have that much to talk about anymore.

My aunt who was the 'family glue' as I called her, was the one who wanted everyone to stay close. But after she died, the whole closeness thing came undone. .... None live near me, but as far as I know, all 25+ are still living.

My father's side is much smaller, and I have occasional contact with two cousins on that side, although I didn't know them growing up.. So it feels different.
 
My Mom came from a family of 11 and my Dad came from a family of 8,so I have many many cousins. For years my Mom's family had a family picnic and we would all get together. A lot of the all grew up in the same neighborhood that I did. Sadly when there were soo many cousins a lot of them have passed away but luckily I am still really close to many of them. On my Dad's side of the family I was only close to two of them. The rest were never allowed to talk to me,my brother or sister because none of my Dad's family like my Mother.It's funny because just earlier today 2 of my cousins called to see how my family is doing well during these scary times.
 
I have a very small family. I'm in contact by phone once in awhile with a cousin on my Dads side and on Facebook .
One on my moms side is like a brother to me. We are very close. He lived with us for awhile when his parents were going through a divorce.
We spend most holidays together and meet for dinner now and then.
He is 10 years younger than me but both of us were an only child so we share the same memories of our family who are gone. We have a special bond.
 
I have six first cousins on my mother's side. I'm very close to one of them who lives near me and somewhat-less-close (but still friendly) with the others who are scattered all over the country. We get together as often as we can.

I have a first-cousin-once-removed that I'm very close to and would see more often if we didn't live three states apart.

I have second-cousins and ones farther down the line that I see occasionally and keep in contact with. Many of them I have met through genealogy research, meeting them in person in the years we traveled through the U.S.

All of us first cousins had a video conference call on Easter Sunday and it was great to "see" them all. We plan to start doing this on a regular basis. We've already lost one of our number (my sister) and we realize none of us are getting any younger (we range from 54 to 72....I'm the oldest) and we want to make the most of the years we have left.

My dad was an only child, so no first cousins there. I've tracked down and visited second cousins and more (from his side) all over the country. A whole new can of worms was opened when we discovered my father's parents weren't really his parents but actually an uncle and his wife, who got him at birth. That introduced us to a whole new branch of the family and cousins with whom we are delighted.
 
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After my Mom, Dad and brother passed....I don't see many cousins....About 2 years ago my brother found some cousins and we went
to see some of them ....There were some older cousins and some brought their kids, who were grown and never met them.....It was
a great time and some of the younger cousins looked somewhat like my kids.....

My brother was going to have another cousin meeting....But we can't have it now.....Sad!!!
 
My mother was British. Some of my cousins from her side of the family have been here to visit, but we have not communicated since. That was around 20 years ago.

My father's side of the family is (was?) in Pennsylvania. I have (had?) 5 cousins there and the same deal as the Brits. I haven't seen/contacted any of them since my dad's funeral in 1975. When that side visited, you went through their luggage to reclaim your property, and did a final tally on your toes & fingers before letting them drive away.

I'm the same way with my 3 remaining siblings (2 have passed away.) Been 10 years since I've spoken with 2 of them, and 7 years since the other. If there's a death among the 3 of them, I'm reliant on my brother's widow to let me know. Dunno who might let them know if I kick.

It's not me. Honest.

I can sense that some of us got stories.
 
Over the past many years I've seen my cousins at weddings and funerals mostly.

My one cousin lives about 50 miles from me and I see him and his wife on occasion when invited to their home in the country.

I have another cousin who doesn't speak to anyone in our family.
 
My parents were born and raised in the same city. All their siblings stayed in the city and raised their families there. However, my father enjoyed being in the forces during the war and decided to continue when the war ended. I grew up with very little contact with my relatives and have no contact at all with them now.
 
Same story as some; parents died and everyone drifted away. I have tried to keep in contact with one cousin and visit her when I can but it is annoying sometimes to always be the one to reach out. I just think some of us don't really like each other. Most of the younger ones have mental and/or physical problems and no one wants to deal with it or hear the sad stories. Sigh...
 
It depends on your definition of "cousin". My grandparents were born in an era when you had as many kids as the woman could bare. My maternal grandmother came from a family of ten, and she had ten kids So, all my grand parents came from a huge bunch of kids, and had a huge bunch of kids. Half the town is related somehow to me. Plus, I come from French Canadian stock, and they like to call very good friends "cousins", so besides blood cousins, I have a gazillion of "friend" cousins.. I have 10 'cousin' cousins. And it's hard to figure out, who is who. My mom knew how everybody was related, I don't. Most of those relationships are forgotten. And I haven't lived in Mass. in over 50 years.
 

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