Cremation or burial.........Your preference ?

Underock1 said:
Its easy when you have a TV channel almost entirely devoted to documentaries of Hitler and the Nazis. I see commercials for Auschwitz episodes a dozen times a day. On the plus side, it gives you hope to compare the Germany of that time to the Germany that is at the forefront of welcoming the fleeing immigrants today.
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It was never the German people per se...rather the fanatical leader. Thankfully, I do not have nor would I watch that channel. Although as a child I hid food under my pillow every night, in case the Germans came....the flashes I still have in my mind are from the Japanese soldiers, with babies on the ends of the bayonets, and the Burma march newsreels.
 

ndynt said:
It was never the German people per se...rather the fanatical leader. Thankfully, I do not have nor would I watch that channel. Although as a child I hid food under my pillow every night, in case the Germans came....the flashes I still have in my mind are from the Japanese soldiers, with babies on the ends of the bayonets, and the Burma march newsreels.
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Yes. That's pretty tough stuff to see. The radical Muslim problem is troubling, but I watch the international news programs from Germany and Japan ( in English ) and I think the world is making progress. I am happy in the times that I live.
 
I will be cremated and my ashes scattered to the winds; back to the universe from whence I came.
 

jujube, that's lovely with the fishing spot! Exactly how I wish to be disposed of...ashes to ashes...I'm putting it in my will that I want my hubby, sons and best buddy to take the ashes up to the nature reserve and sprinkle a bit of me everywhere. They have to be careful not to be too obvious, the state troopers might look at them funny.
 
I find it surprising how quickly (?) attitudes seem to have changed. So many on here seem to share my own view of burn me up and skip the fuss. Back in "my day" funerals were a huge deal. Three days viewing an open casket, everyone riding out to the interment in a cortege. If you missed any of the details, eyebrows were raised. In the aftermath you were supposed to visit the grave site at least once a month for a year or so, and then at least annually for life. The poor little Italian ladies in my neighborhood had to wear black for a year. With large families and the diseases prevalent back then, they never got out of black. My Mom was a rebel though. She always said "Just put me out with the garbage".
 
My wife and I brought a 2 person gravesite ,she died and was cremated. The youngest daughter died suddenly 6 years ago and was cremated and put in with her Mother at my request. I don't know where the hell I'm going now.:)
 
My two sons have been informed that we want to be cremated and scattered where we did most of our courting, under a certain tree by a certain brook.

The reason we have chosen this is... due to the cost of burial plots in the UK ( but I hasten to ad this is for 99yrs lease). and the fact that we do not want to burden our children in regards to the upkeep of such plot and also if they move away from the district they will not be duty bound to travel miles just to put a bunch of flowers on the grave at various times of the year.... Mothers day/Fathers day/Birthdays/Christmas/Palm Sunday etc. as we older people have been brought up to do as a sign of love and respect.



Simple is best in our eyes, were not religious, so consecrated grounds is not an issue.

Roy
 
"but I hasten to ad this is for 99yrs lease"

Here, burial plots traditionally have the stipulation "in perpetuity" tacked in with the legal ownership stuff. Reminds me of just how absolute is "perpetual".

Back in Mayor Richard Daley's glorious days in Chicago, the agreed-upon alignment for the new Congress Expressway tracked clean-through the Jewish Waldheim Cemetery in North Riverside. The survivors of those dead and buried there fought bitterly about digging up their kin, and moving their graves elsewhere. This, evidently, was a very serious "thorn" for the Jewish. Daley, exasperated, finally just ordered, "Dig 'em up!" And they were dug up, perpetuity or no.

True story. I saw it unfold. imp
 
imp said:
"but I hasten to ad this is for 99yrs lease"

Here, burial plots traditionally have the stipulation "in perpetuity" tacked in with the legal ownership stuff. Reminds me of just how absolute is "perpetual".

Back in Mayor Richard Daley's glorious days in Chicago, the agreed-upon alignment for the new Congress Expressway tracked clean-through the Jewish Waldheim Cemetery in North Riverside. The survivors of those dead and buried there fought bitterly about digging up their kin, and moving their graves elsewhere. This, evidently, was a very serious "thorn" for the Jewish. Daley, exasperated, finally just ordered, "Dig 'em up!" And they were dug up, perpetuity or no.

True story. I saw it unfold. imp
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That sounds terrible imp. :( I would have been very upset if one of my loved ones had been buried there. I believe Jewish religious law forbids cremation but now a lot of them are opting for it anyway.
 
The Mayor possessed enormous power. Years later, his son became Mayor, but I've heard he was not as effective. The Senior Daley was instrumental in getting O'Hare Airport purchased by the city, and annexed as part of it, even though a dozen or so suburbs lie in between. Chicago's original airport, Midway, only one mile square, really was inadequate in capability as Chicagoland grew. Midway is still in use, and I prefer it when I travel there. imp
 
My maternal grandmother's last request to my mother was "Don't bury me with your father." He made her life hard during their almost 50 years of marriage and I guess she didn't want him right there next door continuing the process. So we had her cremated, scattered her ashes on her parents' graves and on the family farm and just had her name and dates chiseled on the double headstone. Whatever makes you happy....
 
When my wife of 20 years passed away in 2008, I had to make that decision. I was fortunate in finding a nearby cemetery which offered wall crypts. I was very sad to have to decide, but I felt a little more comfortable with that option. Because of that, the choice for myself is a crypt near hers.
 
We get cremated, ashes get scattered in the Gulf.

My parents are buried "up north", we haven't been up there in 20 years, probably will never be up there again.

Her mother is scattered in the Atlantic, her father is buried in the old country.
 
My brother's wishes where to have his ashes scattered over our parents grave. I told his daughter that it would be best to have them buried instead.

#1 I did not know if it was legal here and #2 he would be further scattered with the fist lawn mowing!!
 
If it were me I'd do as your brother wants, I personally wouldn't worry about checking into the legality of it, I'd just do it.

I wouldn't make a big production out of spreading his ashes, just you and his daughter go to the cemetery and quietly do what he wanted.
 
IKE said:
If it were me I'd do as your brother wants, I personally wouldn't worry about checking into the legality of it, I'd just do it.

I wouldn't make a big production out of spreading his ashes, just you and his daughter go to the cemetery and quietly do what he wanted.
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It is already done...We both felt that we did what he wanted and that was to be with our parents..
 
imp said:
"but I hasten to ad this is for 99yrs lease"

Here, burial plots traditionally have the stipulation "in perpetuity" tacked in with the legal ownership stuff. Reminds me of just how absolute is "perpetual".

Back in Mayor Richard Daley's glorious days in Chicago, the agreed-upon alignment for the new Congress Expressway tracked clean-through the Jewish Waldheim Cemetery in North Riverside. The survivors of those dead and buried there fought bitterly about digging up their kin, and moving their graves elsewhere. This, evidently, was a very serious "thorn" for the Jewish. Daley, exasperated, finally just ordered, "Dig 'em up!" And they were dug up, perpetuity or no.

True story. I saw it unfold. imp
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Our Cemetery in my Town in the Rhondda S.Wales U.K. was created in 1881, before that, everyone was buried in the Church grounds. Due to the opening of coal mines the population grew so fast and the amount of fatalities in the mines, Church Graveyards were fast becoming overcrowded hence the Council had to provide an alternative.

Now then, because of modernisation and the move with the times, a lot of our churches and graveyards have given way to the widening of roads and the remains have been exhumed and relocated to a modern cemetery. Unfortunately it seems you cannot stand in the way of progress.

Roy
 
My family goes for cremation and party-type memorial services. The boyfriend's family still goes for the big funerals with lots of visitation and graveside services....I know his sister's cost $23,000 altogether a couple of years ago, including the gravesite. Money that nobody in the family had to spare. I'm not sure if it even got paid, as her husband was a deadbeat and OD'd recently himself.

He wants the complete thing for himself and I told him he'd better make some sort of arrangements and talk to his sons about it (hah! I can see them pitching in on it........even if they wanted to, their wives would put the kibosh on THAT!) as I have no intention of paying for that sort of funeral. That may sound hardhearted, but I'm not his wife (his choice) and it's not my responsibility.

My late husband's memorial service was three weeks after he died. It gave everyone a chance for emotions to be less raw, everyone could find reasonable airfare to come down and we had a great party at his favorite fish camp. It cost me about $1600 altogether and a good portion of that was food and beer. There was a little crying and a lot of laughing when the stories started to be told. I had it on a Sunday so nobody had to take off work. I think he was there laughing with everyone else. His sister later had a mass said for him (which he would not have been happy about, but it made her feel better.)
 
I am down for the campfire as well :) I would like my daughters to ensure I am mixed with my current husband and we are sprinkled in the mountains somewhere where all our kids can drop in from time to time and reflect :)
 
jujube said:
My family goes for cremation and party-type memorial services. The boyfriend's family still goes for the big funerals with lots of visitation and graveside services....I know his sister's cost $23,000 altogether a couple of years ago, including the gravesite. Money that nobody in the family had to spare. I'm not sure if it even got paid, as her husband was a deadbeat and OD'd recently himself.

He wants the complete thing for himself and I told him he'd better make some sort of arrangements and talk to his sons about it (hah! I can see them pitching in on it........even if they wanted to, their wives would put the kibosh on THAT!) as I have no intention of paying for that sort of funeral. That may sound hardhearted, but I'm not his wife (his choice) and it's not my responsibility.

My late husband's memorial service was three weeks after he died. It gave everyone a chance for emotions to be less raw, everyone could find reasonable airfare to come down and we had a great party at his favorite fish camp. It cost me about $1600 altogether and a good portion of that was food and beer. There was a little crying and a lot of laughing when the stories started to be told. I had it on a Sunday so nobody had to take off work. I think he was there laughing with everyone else. His sister later had a mass said for him (which he would not have been happy about, but it made her feel better.)
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We also do the party type memorial. Our son's was a BBQ memorial at his best friend's house where he happened to be when he died of a stroke. There was a pond out back where he and his son had spent a lot of time boating and swimming through out the years. His friend had us go in the house and watch a video taken back there several years ago of him paddling a boat around the pond. It was a nice day and we met a lot of people we didn't know. Some told us stories about him helping them and they were things he had never told us so they were nice to hear. I don't think anyone in our family will go back to the more traditional funeral/burial.
 
I think it has a lot to do with family, faith and tradition. Something I never understood was why my Dad who has always been strongly for cremation decided on an open casket for my Mom. Maybe in his grief he just went with other's suggestions I don't know. It was ghastly though. If someone has been ill for quite some time they can't fix it. She was so pale and drawn when she died, I guess the undertaker tried to jazz her up a bit and did makeup she wouldn't be caught dead in. <<<cringe>>>

I want to remember someone in life, not as a stuffed painted body. Maybe some people find comfort but I didn't.
 
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