Dangerous Online Obsession

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
Just watched a Dr. Phil show about a dangerous online obsession. This 17 year old girl, is always on the internet seeking attention, approval, etc. from men. She is said to "live and breath" her Ipad and Ipod. She meets men online, then goes with them in their cars for dates and sex.

At the age of 15, they found her in a ditch with no blouse on, beaten up and bleeding after a rape. Her parents and brother called the Dr. Phil show to get help, because they were afraid that she would someday be killed or get an STD...they only thought she was with around 25 men, but she said it was more like around 100.

At the end of the show, to make her open her eyes, a mother and father of a 15 year old who met ONE man on facebook, right at the end of her driveway. She disappeared, and they ended up finding her dead. The body was in such bad condition, that the mother was unable to see her when she requested one last hug. :(

It amazes me how someone, of any age, can meet with strangers and get into their cars. I've hitchhiked in my teen years, and I'm very luck that nothing bad ever happened to me. Hopefully this girl wakes up before it's too late. Was a very emotional show at the end with the parents of the deceased girl. They had two younger daughters, and every day was lived in fear for them. The father said they wouldn't date until they were at least 18, and even then they would be very worried. http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/2066
 

In an earlier time the parents would have simply taken a hammer to the iPod / iPad. That would be my first response, but I'm sure they didn't want to give their precious baby a traumatic experience. Heck, I'd lock her in her room if I had to, for her own good.

It's just a shame that a problem so serious, so full of potentially lethal consequences, is used as entertainment on "Dr." Phil's show. She should have been seeing a real therapist or been committed to a short-term tough-love facility. Being on the show was probably just another kick for her - she probably shows the YouTube clips to anyone and everyone, including her future "partners" and laughs about them.

Some people seem to be born victims. She appears to be one of them.
 
I'm hoping dr Phil arranged some help for her and her parents; he usually does in cases like that. I'm wondering tho, how the parents didn't see something was amiss when she was spending that much time on her ipad, etc??? Teens do spend a lot of time in their rooms sometimes, but since she obviously was leaving a lot, they had to know she was dating, or doing 'something'...they didn't check on what the heck was going on??? I'd be spying if I had to; to keep her from heaven knows what.

I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but geez - they found her in a ditch at 15; she's now 17, and still doing this?? Am I misunderstanding something????
 

Such a sad story and we're hearing about it more and more. These young teenage girls becoming involved w/perverts and running away to be with them. Parents who don't monitor their children's internet activities are begging for trouble. What a heartbreak for this poor family, but it could have been much worse. A good many of them never hear from their children again or find them dead. It is a cause for grave concern for families these days.
 
SifuPhil said:
It's just a shame that a problem so serious, so full of potentially lethal consequences, is used as entertainment on "Dr." Phil's show. She should have been seeing a real therapist or been committed to a short-term tough-love facility. Being on the show was probably just another kick for her - she probably shows the YouTube clips to anyone and everyone, including her future "partners" and laughs about them.
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Well, shows about serious things like this do make the ratings jump for sure. I think Dr. Phil has some kind of experience as a therapist. Part of the point of these shows, is people are hitting bottom, and coming there for some help.

As in this case, I think her family was sure she needed psychiatric counseling, but the girl didn't think it was a problem. She was getting 'love' and attention, that she felt she wasn't getting at home. In this and many other cases, the host made them see the light, and also provided free expert therapy for them to work through their problems and move forward...so in that respect, I think it's a great thing that they called the show.

It didn't seem like it was a kick for her at all, especially toward the end, so I think once she gets her head on straight there'll be no laughing. He sometimes shows result clips, and many folks made life changes after accepting his help and advice.

Anne said:
I'm hoping dr Phil arranged some help for her and her parents; he usually does in cases like that. I'm wondering tho, how the parents didn't see something was amiss when she was spending that much time on her ipad, etc??? Teens do spend a lot of time in their rooms sometimes, but since she obviously was leaving a lot, they had to know she was dating, or doing 'something'...they didn't check on what the heck was going on??? I'd be spying if I had to; to keep her from heaven knows what.

I shouldn't jump to conclusions, but geez - they found her in a ditch at 15; she's now 17, and still doing this?? Am I misunderstanding something????
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I believe he provided therapy for both her and her mother. I think they knew she was doing things like this, especially after the rape, but they couldn't stop her and were just scared and frustrated. You're not misunderstanding Anne, she continued to do it until the show...I think she was unconscious and had no memory of the rape, so maybe she wasn't hurting too much physically, although they said she was bloody.
 
Aside from disliking Quack Phil (not you Sifu) very, very much . . . the story of this young woman troubles me greatly. Yet, she is only one of so many and they have been prey for the predators since time began. Unfortunately, our "wonderful" modern technology that brings us all closer has made access to them easier and easier. What's to be done? I have no idea. Parents are the first defense and even the good ones have a tough, tough job.
 
The main problem I have with Dr. Phil is that he presents himself as a psychologist when he is no such thing.

He IS a doctor - he has a PhD in Psychology. But he does not qualify as, nor is he licensed as, a psychologist.

He USED to be a licensed psychologist. That ended badly years ago.

He cannot practice psychology, and what he does is not actually the practice of psychology. Yet he has been quoted as saying that the only thing that differentiates him from a licensed, practicing psychologist is that "they can hang out a shingle".

No.

Dr. Phil, following his stunningly inept interaction with Britney Spears, said "I listen and then suggest or refer them to the right professionals in whom I have confidence — the people who have the time and the focus to really get involved across time and work with them." In other words, he said that he does in fact practice by evaluating people and making referrals, indicating that he doesn't provide treatment himself only because he doesn't have the time. He was suggesting that he is trained and experienced to provide treatment, if he wanted to.

Following from the above comments, Dr. Phil went on to "explain" why he didn't need a license. He said that he didn't need a license because the only reason you need one is to "hang out a shingle" for private practice and to accept fees from the public. That's just not correct, and it's also misleading. The licensing law also says that you you can't act like you're a psychologist.

And then, in a comment that stunned me, Dr. Phil said: "I do, however, still have 30 years of experience, (and) a hard-earned Ph.D in clinical psychology ... I am certainly eligible to be licensed in California so far as education, training and experience." Emphasizing his point, he included the imperative: "So you still have to call me Dr. Phil."

This statement is the very essence of what California law says that someone is not supposed to do unless they are actually a psychologist. It doesn't matter in the least bit if you don't take any fees and if you aren't in "private practice." You still can't go around acting like you have the credential. His statement about the law was entirely inaccurate. The fact that he does not accept any fees for his services gets him out from underneath any complaint that he practices psychology (on TV), but it does not absolve him for misrepresenting his professional status, or lack thereof.
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source

What he offers is a glamorous (for him) referral service. I'd like to see the stats for exactly how many people have actually experienced successful interventions because of his actions - I think the numbers would be small.

Never forget - he's in show business. He was Oprah's pet. He's a Hollywood doctor offering snake oil and smokey dreams.
 
Dr.Phil, I used to quite enjoy his show, (although I always thought he was too good to be true) until the truth came out about his own philanderings. How does he get up there on world wide tv and 'preach', not the least to say how can people believe in him, he's lost his credibility as far as I'm concerned.
 
I don't know much about him, and I certainly don't look up to him. Just like Dr. Oz, who Oprah took under her wing, and gave him his own TV show. If he has an interesting topic, I'll watch, but take things he says with a grain of salt. I do like that people get help through Dr. Phil, although it's true, the only success stories I know of are ones mentioned on his show...and I don't watch it regularly.
 
Wish I could remember who said it but . . . "Dr. Phil is a hump."

Now, back to the subject at hand which is NOT that hump but the situation with dangerous online obsession. What's to be done???
 
SeaBreeze said:
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They had two younger daughters, and every day was lived in fear for them. The father said they wouldn't date until they were at least 18, and even then they would be very worried. http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/2066
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While I understand wanting to protect the remaining offspring, the father is setting up restrictions that trigger sneaking out, lying about destinations and locations, while eliminating the open communication needed when dating begins.

The problem isn't the dating. It is the man, secure in his anonymity. Why parents allow their under 21's to have Facebook accounts and unsupervised internet access is beyond me. Those two conditions led to these tragedies.

If the father of the first girl, found beaten at 15 and living for approval, is the parent stating there will be no dating before 18 that family already has some real self esteem issues. It might be that the home is already so restrictive that this girl has been driven into her risky behavior. More restrictions will simply add fuel to the fire. The whole family needs help.
 
I have never really enjoyed Dr. Phil. He's one of those Oprah cast offs who, having impressed her, made it big.

He was very good in just blurting out what people needed to do in addressing their problems. His answer was always a basic "get up off your lazy add and make changes, or stop bitchin' about your life."

Great work if you can get it!
 
MercyL said:
If the father of the first girl, found beaten at 15 and living for approval, is the parent stating there will be no dating before 18 that family already has some real self esteem issues.
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No Mercy, that was the father of the 15 year old girl that just met one man and was brutally beaten and murdered. He didn't come on with his wife until the end of the show. The mother was amazed that the 17yr old girl who went with a hundred men was still alive, and told her she was very lucky...as her daughter only did it once, and is now gone.
 
To paraphrase Paulie from the Rocky movies, "A baseball bat across the knees is a good thing."

I'm glad I had two boys; I really wouldn't know what to do with girls. I don't think I could have used the same psy-ops on them ...
 
SeaBreeze said:
No Mercy, that was the father of the 15 year old girl that just met one man and was brutally beaten and murdered. He didn't come on with his wife until the end of the show. The mother was amazed that the 17yr old girl who went with a hundred men was still alive, and told her she was very lucky...as her daughter only did it once, and is now gone.
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Ok, that makes more sense.

I had a hard time tracking which parents went to which teen and which incident led to which father restricting whatever daughter from dating whenever.

LOL
 
SifuPhil said:
To paraphrase Paulie from the Rocky movies, "A baseball bat across the knees is a good thing."

I'm glad I had two boys; I really wouldn't know what to do with girls. I don't think I could have used the same psy-ops on them ...
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You might consider having girls learn martial arts with the understanding that they have every right to use it, but teaching them to use the baseball bat method of self protection is as valid for girls as it is for boys. Most of all, make sure girls understand themselves as basically good, worthwhile people.

The "good worthwhile people" part has to start before religion teaches them otherwise.
 

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