You are not the only one that feels that way at times. There was a time I did too. I imagined every scenario about the person(s). It went away though. A lot of unfair things happen to us and others in this world and sometimes there is nothing else we can do but imagine them gone in some way or another.Yes dark moments. Deep dark moments involving me killing another human being. Of course I know this is wrong, but imagining the clock ticking for a certain deserving jerk can be captivating yet nonsensical at the same time. Let's talk types of attack modes and implements.
Christmas is always hard for me. Our only biological son was born Christmas Day and died 2 days later. I had eclampsia, convulsions, was hospitalized, had a emergency c-section, and never saw my son as he was taken to a children’s hospital. In those days they didn’t take pictures. But we continued to have Christmas for our other child, my bio son, his adopted son, and relatives. But every year the memories of that Christmas flood back.
Thong or granny panties? Thong seems like a waste whereas granny could have made several. Really important in the interest of being sanitary did you wash it 1st.?You may well ask, dear lady.
Being the 'waste not, want not' sort of chap that I am, I did the sensible thing with them..........I made a covid mask for myself......everyone asks me where I bought it.
Thank you so much for this post. You have no idea how much comfort it gave me. It really helps to know that someone understands and empathizes. I know that they miss him, too, especially my sister misses him, I don't really resent them, what you said about having someone to drag me out of bed, I know I should be grateful, I'm trying. Again, thank you so much for sharing your own feelings with me. I feel so much better.Christmas is always hard for me. Our only biological son was born Christmas Day and died 2 days later. I had eclampsia, convulsions, was hospitalized, had a emergency c-section, and never saw my son as he was taken to a children’s hospital. In those days they didn’t take pictures. But we continued to have Christmas for our other child, my bio son, his adopted son, and relatives. But every year the memories of that Christmas flood back.
I share (or over share as usual) because I want you to know I understand. Lots of us do. Christmas, for a lot of people, can be extremely hard. And, a first Christmas without a beloved husband or other loved one, especially hard. People talk about closure, I believe the pain lessens over time, but I don’t believe in closure.
I am sorry that you resent your sister and brother in law, but that will pass. It is clear they love you very much. You are not being a horrible person. You are still grieving.
I wish I had such loving relatives that cared so much for me that they would drag my ornery self out of bed, make me get up, cook a meal, (they will regret me cooking), and put up with my miserable self. While we share stories about my baby and what he meant to me. But, since his birth and death, in 1972 not one of those miserable people have ever mentioned him. Not one.
I deeply resent that my horrific mother, who lived ten miles away and stuck her nose into my pregnancy continuously, critically, didn’t bother to come to his funeral. Then again I have so many things to resent her for.
I merely suggest that they miss him too, and, perhaps, they are worried about you. I hope you are able to get through Thanksgiving without too much sadness and grief. I hope you can cook better than me.
Welcome to the forum. @Autumn
You are so welcome!
