Dating site disasters Pt. 2..things got weirder!

R

Rindee

Member
A few years ago, another online dating site, a connection! He began flirting, sending messages, compliments galore, my dream man! He had no picture (yet, he said), but the site had a selection to add a picture later, so I had hope
. A true friend stabs you in front it is said, and my friend told me, "Don't expect too much Rin, you are old and a transgender, so I don't think any fitness hunks will be looking to date you." Gee thanks friend, but the truth hurts. I had pictures all over my profile, nothing to hide, and he said he lived in a 50-mile radius of me, kept telling me how beautiful I am (girlies eat that stuff up ya' know lol), and how much he wanted to get to know me more, and eventually go out, hmm sounds good so far eh? Hang on lol! This continued, no picture yet, but yes, I enjoyed it all, so far.
Then he began to try to lure me to other communication formats, outside of the site. Most often, when men would ask if I had any other social media accounts, chat apps, or better yet (for them), my phone number, and looking for other means of communication outside of the site, prior to really getting to know me more, that meant trouble on the way, they were hiding or hiding something!
I always posted in my profiles not to ask me to communicate outside of the site, unless the situation progressed to a phone call, video call etc., and as always, despite that, they would ask all the questions I told them not to, proving to me that no one reads profiles lol! He said he was my age, but the picture he finally provided was obviously either a younger picture of him, or someone else. When I questioned him about it, he got mad and stopped communicating with me, but he came back, telling me he had "issues" he was dealing with, after which I told him "So then, you are married."
LOL! No response from him, which told me what I already knew. He finally provided an "updated picture", but in it he was wearing a ball cap, and sunglasses. Now exposed, he needed a way out. So, this was the last message I received... and I doubt his wife wrote it, he did.... " I am his wife, and no we are not getting divorced! He finally woke up and realized that he doesn't want to lose everything he has, just to go out on a date with The Bride of Frankenstein." Omg, omg, and another omg. Whew! I was left...speechless.
He disappeared from that site, so did I LOL! Hey, as far as online dating, give it a try and best wishes! It could happen, maybe you can meet the person of your dreams! Just because it never happened for me, doesn't mean it won't for you. Who knows, there's always hope.......for you maybe, not for me. Rindee
 

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The internet is chock full of bS sites and "interested parties"... I just left FB after getting a message back from one I sent a "like" too, clicked and antivirus popped up... just like they always do on FB, and most other places. These hooligans, wherever/whoever they are, seem to like preying on singles. I hope they wake from a dream of their pubes on fire tonight LOL.
 
spookycat said:
The internet is chock full of bS sites and "interested parties"... I just left FB after getting a message back from one I sent a "like" too, clicked and antivirus popped up... just like they always do on FB, and most other places. These hooligans, wherever/whoever they are, seem to like preying on singles. I hope they wake from a dream of their pubes on fire tonight LOL.
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LOL I join you in that hope, and hope they dream that every night for the rest of their lives lol! I left FB long ago, as well as twitter, myspace, all the big ones. got tired of the games, the fakery and insanity. We are better off away from that junk. And those so-called "influencers", omg, what a laugh! Seems to me that there are more out there, with no life, and all they can do is try to make everyone else as miserable as they are.
 

The internet has provided a platform for people to connect with those they would normally never meet.....and for those who need an outlet for their perversions. If you just treat it as a bit of fun and don't expect too much, it can be a way to pass the time. I used to spend a lot of time chatting to men on the internet. Most are pathetic little people I wouldn't give a moment's attention to normally. I certainly would never look for romance on the internet.
 
I am sure the experience of "hooking up" varies widely in cyber space. If it so happens that the "dreams" become "reality", that is when the rubber hits the road. I bet there are stories that range from the most romantic successes, to the weirdest encounters ever. That is true with most all of our lives, it crunches everything/melodrama down to a shorter time frame though. It is more intense, when so much is unknown and curious. I played around with a few girls online, but never met them. I loved playing online golf as a female. She was a cutie left hander named "Shartruse". Some guys while playing the round would get so nasty, it was hilarious playing with them. :)
 
Rindee said:
A few years ago, another online dating site, a connection! He began flirting, sending messages, compliments galore, my dream man! He had no picture (yet, he said), but the site had a selection to add a picture later, so I had hope
. A true friend stabs you in front it is said, and my friend told me, "Don't expect too much Rin, you are old and a transgender, so I don't think any fitness hunks will be looking to date you." Gee thanks friend, but the truth hurts. I had pictures all over my profile, nothing to hide, and he said he lived in a 50-mile radius of me, kept telling me how beautiful I am (girlies eat that stuff up ya' know lol), and how much he wanted to get to know me more, and eventually go out, hmm sounds good so far eh? Hang on lol! This continued, no picture yet, but yes, I enjoyed it all, so far.
Then he began to try to lure me to other communication formats, outside of the site. Most often, when men would ask if I had any other social media accounts, chat apps, or better yet (for them), my phone number, and looking for other means of communication outside of the site, prior to really getting to know me more, that meant trouble on the way, they were hiding or hiding something!
I always posted in my profiles not to ask me to communicate outside of the site, unless the situation progressed to a phone call, video call etc., and as always, despite that, they would ask all the questions I told them not to, proving to me that no one reads profiles lol! He said he was my age, but the picture he finally provided was obviously either a younger picture of him, or someone else. When I questioned him about it, he got mad and stopped communicating with me, but he came back, telling me he had "issues" he was dealing with, after which I told him "So then, you are married."
LOL! No response from him, which told me what I already knew. He finally provided an "updated picture", but in it he was wearing a ball cap, and sunglasses. Now exposed, he needed a way out. So, this was the last message I received... and I doubt his wife wrote it, he did.... " I am his wife, and no we are not getting divorced! He finally woke up and realized that he doesn't want to lose everything he has, just to go out on a date with The Bride of Frankenstein." Omg, omg, and another omg. Whew! I was left...speechless.
He disappeared from that site, so did I LOL! Hey, as far as online dating, give it a try and best wishes! It could happen, maybe you can meet the person of your dreams! Just because it never happened for me, doesn't mean it won't for you. Who knows, there's always hope.......for you maybe, not for me. Rindee
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One thing I always put a stop to immediately, is when guys used the word "love" randomly, even if they thought they were being friendly, example, "I would love to get to know more about you and would love to meet you", I would tell them not to use that word. Love is a powerful word not to be used randomly, and for those who are going to immediately play Devil's Advocate without thinking, I am referring to this subject matter, not something like... "I love French fries and ketchup."
 
Lavinia said:
The internet has provided a platform for people to connect with those they would normally never meet.....and for those who need an outlet for their perversions. If you just treat it as a bit of fun and don't expect too much, it can be a way to pass the time. I used to spend a lot of time chatting to men on the internet. Most are pathetic little people I wouldn't give a moment's attention to normally. I certainly would never look for romance on the internet.
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Good points, but I wasn't looking for romance in chat rooms. The sites I registered on required verification of email, age, etc. So that's where I did attempt to test the dating scene yet was met with the issues you described when chatting. These sites were standard, where a gender selection was available, and I put mine as what I am, a Transgender female. In my case most were just curiosity seekers who probably had trouble communicating with women, and thought they would give me a try.
Then there were the sites for Transgender women like me, and the men who like us (or so they said lol). Again, verifications required. I didn't last long on those sites, and being one of the few real ones with real pictures, I was outnumbered by the majority of the others who were computer altered/enhanced hallucinations of the real thing lol! So, the men were chasing after the fakes. To describe my experiences on those particular sites......beyond insane lol!
 
Having pics of myself has been something I've had trouble with on dating sites too... fakebook, and others- there are plenty of fake dating/hookup sites. Seems very few are real.
So I'm looking to scout around in public... yuck.
I don't enjoy taking selfies, or distributing them where someone will see them that I'd rather not share with. Nosey ex coworkers, past "friends" who were jealous of me because I'm a nice guy and was raised a little more well off than themselves, thus translating to "we gotta eff this guy over"... or ex's friends or people who once worked with us both (often one and the same), and tried their hardest to split us up with chaos, controversy and sexual innuendo (and succeeded). I wouldn't bite on it, but she did. She had a poorer upbringing and will do anything to "fit in".

Being a straight male, I don't know what all the different sexual orientations are, for this info I ask my daughter. She's a Gen X straight female, and understands all of today's social norms way better than I do. She's also my computer and cell phone tech lol.

I am also one who tries to get my convo with a potential mate away from a dating site to a more personal (free, lol) platform than where I meet the women, mainly because I don't have money to throw at every internet twist of "open thy wallet, wider" that is so common nowadays. This is how many of the operators of these sites live in Cyprus, or a similar abode. (read their site's fine print, many are from there). Which consider its location European, but if you look on a map it's as close to being in the Middle East/Asia... interesting.

When I see that, I see some care free dude living off everyone else's dreams and taking their money without effort, I find it irritating.
 
You are knowledgeable about those sites. The most valuable commodity is information, and having it before hand, rather than getting it from experience (on dating sites), is a much better option lol! It was just something I thought I would try, and I did, with little results. Of course, I will always be in a different category, which made things more difficult even on sites where it was for transgenders, and men who like us.
It was no different, and anyone showing any interest in me at all, was just looking for a curious-fantasy fling, aside from their marriage or relationship. In joining these sites, I did so impulsively and out of desperation... the reason; a medical scare in 2012, of which I actually shouldn't have survived, but did.
I was 50 then, and shortly after getting out of the hospital and reflecting on the severity of what happened to me, desperation set in, and sometimes love or the lack of it, can make a girly do desperate things :(. I only subscribed to the free accounts, which were limited, but still offered some degree of possibilities, and as it turned out, were 0 for me.
 
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Online communications like chat rooms, can be good for seniors living alone, and I am one of them, but we know from experience, good things seldom last lol! In my years on AOL way back, I would host a room, or join others, but once I got friendly with anyone, as soon as I entered the room...BOOM, they IM'd me immediately...and this happened every time, I seldom had a chance to chat in the room!
It was as if they thought I was there just to chat with them every time. Then they wanted to chat forever...on and on and on....my legs would get numb from sitting so long. I began to have to block people, or just ignore them, or get rude with them.... it became too much! One man wrote to me, "you were once a very nice person, now you are the Exorcist!"....and that was my plan, and it worked!
I was in my 30s then, so as I aged, I began to find more sites for my age group, but the same things happened. I was nice to someone and then they smothered me with messages every time I entered the rooms. wanting to chat until the end of time. Give them a minute of your time, and they want eternity... show them a few pictures and they keep asking for more and more...., I still chat on a site that is so far, the best for me. I still get swamped from time to time by a certain person, but now I don't hesitate to go from nice girl.....to....watch out here I come....... THE EXORCIST! :)
 
spookycat said:
Having pics of myself has been something I've had trouble with on dating sites too... fakebook, and others- there are plenty of fake dating/hookup sites. Seems very few are real.
So I'm looking to scout around in public... yuck.
I don't enjoy taking selfies, or distributing them where someone will see them that I'd rather not share with. Nosey ex coworkers, past "friends" who were jealous of me because I'm a nice guy and was raised a little more well off than themselves, thus translating to "we gotta eff this guy over"... or ex's friends or people who once worked with us both (often one and the same), and tried their hardest to split us up with chaos, controversy and sexual innuendo (and succeeded). I wouldn't bite on it, but she did. She had a poorer upbringing and will do anything to "fit in".

Being a straight male, I don't know what all the different sexual orientations are, for this info I ask my daughter. She's a Gen X straight female, and understands all of today's social norms way better than I do. She's also my computer and cell phone tech lol.

I am also one who tries to get my convo with a potential mate away from a dating site to a more personal (free, lol) platform than where I meet the women, mainly because I don't have money to throw at every internet twist of "open thy wallet, wider" that is so common nowadays. This is how many of the operators of these sites live in Cyprus, or a similar abode. (read their site's fine print, many are from there). Which consider its location European, but if you look on a map it's as close to being in the Middle East/Asia... interesting.

When I see that, I see some care free dude living off everyone else's dreams and taking their money without effort, I find it irritating.
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I am so glad you remained the nice guy you have always been, not letting others change you. Chivalry is not dead after all, and nice guys don't finish last. We need more in the world today!
 
Rindee said:
Online communications like chat rooms, can be good for seniors living alone, and I am one of them, but we know from experience, good things seldom last lol! In my years on AOL way back, I would host a room, or join others, but once I got friendly with anyone, as soon as I entered the room...BOOM, they IM'd me immediately...and this happened every time, I seldom had a chance to chat in the room!
It was as if they thought I was there just to chat with them every time. Then they wanted to chat forever...on and on and on....my legs would get numb from sitting so long. I began to have to block people, or just ignore them, or get rude with them.... it became too much! One man wrote to me, "you were once a very nice person, now you are the Exorcist!"....and that was my plan, and it worked!
I was in my 30s then, so as I aged, I began to find more sites for my age group, but the same things happened. I was nice to someone and then they smothered me with messages every time I entered the rooms. wanting to chat until the end of time. Give them a minute of your time, and they want eternity... show them a few pictures and they keep asking for more and more...., I still chat on a site that is so far, the best for me. I still get swamped from time to time by a certain person, but now I don't hesitate to go from nice girl.....to....watch out here I come....... THE EXORCIST! :)
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Sometimes you just have to decide what your boundaries are and then stick to them. Some people have no clue on 'social niceties'. And they will take, take, take until you're exhausted.
 
Debrah N. said:
Sometimes you just have to decide what your boundaries are and then stick to them. Some people have no clue on 'social niceties'. And they will take, take, take until you're exhausted.
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That's for sure! I am a 30+ years veteran of online chats dating all the way back to AOL, where I hosted my own room.....BIG MISTAKE! Online hoodlums would gang up on me, and when I booted them from the room, a dozen more were waiting to get in. The good thing then was if you booted a person, they could never get back in. But as you mentioned correctly, I became exhausted and couldn't boot hundreds a day lol...so I closed down the room ;(.
 
Rindee said:
A few years ago, another online dating site, a connection! He began flirting, sending messages, compliments galore, my dream man! He had no picture (yet, he said), but the site had a selection to add a picture later, so I had hope
. A true friend stabs you in front it is said, and my friend told me, "Don't expect too much Rin, you are old and a transgender, so I don't think any fitness hunks will be looking to date you." Gee thanks friend, but the truth hurts. I had pictures all over my profile, nothing to hide, and he said he lived in a 50-mile radius of me, kept telling me how beautiful I am (girlies eat that stuff up ya' know lol), and how much he wanted to get to know me more, and eventually go out, hmm sounds good so far eh? Hang on lol! This continued, no picture yet, but yes, I enjoyed it all, so far.
Then he began to try to lure me to other communication formats, outside of the site. Most often, when men would ask if I had any other social media accounts, chat apps, or better yet (for them), my phone number, and looking for other means of communication outside of the site, prior to really getting to know me more, that meant trouble on the way, they were hiding or hiding something!
I always posted in my profiles not to ask me to communicate outside of the site, unless the situation progressed to a phone call, video call etc., and as always, despite that, they would ask all the questions I told them not to, proving to me that no one reads profiles lol! He said he was my age, but the picture he finally provided was obviously either a younger picture of him, or someone else. When I questioned him about it, he got mad and stopped communicating with me, but he came back, telling me he had "issues" he was dealing with, after which I told him "So then, you are married."
LOL! No response from him, which told me what I already knew. He finally provided an "updated picture", but in it he was wearing a ball cap, and sunglasses. Now exposed, he needed a way out. So, this was the last message I received... and I doubt his wife wrote it, he did.... " I am his wife, and no we are not getting divorced! He finally woke up and realized that he doesn't want to lose everything he has, just to go out on a date with The Bride of Frankenstein." Omg, omg, and another omg. Whew! I was left...speechless.
He disappeared from that site, so did I LOL! Hey, as far as online dating, give it a try and best wishes! It could happen, maybe you can meet the person of your dreams! Just because it never happened for me, doesn't mean it won't for you. Who knows, there's always hope.......for you maybe, not for me. Rindee
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It's easier just to walk up to people and start talking. You can really check them out in person and tell things about them early. I don't why people are so fascinated about online dating. Glad I never tried it. I saw this coming when it first started.
 
spookycat said:
Having pics of myself has been something I've had trouble with on dating sites too... fakebook, and others- there are plenty of fake dating/hookup sites. Seems very few are real.
So I'm looking to scout around in public... yuck.
I don't enjoy taking selfies, or distributing them where someone will see them that I'd rather not share with. Nosey ex coworkers, past "friends" who were jealous of me because I'm a nice guy and was raised a little more well off than themselves, thus translating to "we gotta eff this guy over"... or ex's friends or people who once worked with us both (often one and the same), and tried their hardest to split us up with chaos, controversy and sexual innuendo (and succeeded). I wouldn't bite on it, but she did. She had a poorer upbringing and will do anything to "fit in".

Being a straight male, I don't know what all the different sexual orientations are, for this info I ask my daughter. She's a Gen X straight female, and understands all of today's social norms way better than I do. She's also my computer and cell phone tech lol.

I am also one who tries to get my convo with a potential mate away from a dating site to a more personal (free, lol) platform than where I meet the women, mainly because I don't have money to throw at every internet twist of "open thy wallet, wider" that is so common nowadays. This is how many of the operators of these sites live in Cyprus, or a similar abode. (read their site's fine print, many are from there). Which consider its location European, but if you look on a map it's as close to being in the Middle East/Asia... interesting.

When I see that, I see some care free dude living off everyone else's dreams and taking their money without effort, I find it irritating.
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Back when I was on Facebook, I never, ever used my real pic. Too easy to steal and used by other people, as is happening right now.
 
Oldeagle66 said:
I've never tried online dating and never will. Matter of fact, the day I retired at 55, I quit dating completely. My retirement is just for relaxation and enjoying my life without anymore drama.
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That's good if it works for you. I never actually dated anyone from online, it was just something I tried. As far as drama, hey, that's what makes the world go'round lol!
 
Oldeagle66 said:
It's about accountability and I'm responsible for my pictures. Would you want someone taking yours and using however them they wished. Even to commit scams?
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you're missing the point... there's a million or more photos available on the internet, people can use any they want. Even on here there are members who use celebrity photos as tho' they were pictures of themselves......that's very weird to me...

if omeone wants to use my photo to scam someone then there's little I could do about it...
 
Oldeagle66 said:
It's easier just to walk up to people and start talking. You can really check them out in person and tell things about them early. I don't why people are so fascinated about online dating. Glad I never tried it. I saw this coming when it first started.
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This is true for most, not for me. I am in a completely different category. I rarely walk up and talk to anyone, and the times when men have approached me, are few and far between. I'm not saying my only avenue was online dating, as I wrote, it was just something I thought I would try.
 
Rindee said:
A few years ago, another online dating site, a connection! He began flirting, sending messages, compliments galore, my dream man! He had no picture (yet, he said), but the site had a selection to add a picture later, so I had hope
. A true friend stabs you in front it is said, and my friend told me, "Don't expect too much Rin, you are old and a transgender, so I don't think any fitness hunks will be looking to date you." Gee thanks friend, but the truth hurts. I had pictures all over my profile, nothing to hide, and he said he lived in a 50-mile radius of me, kept telling me how beautiful I am (girlies eat that stuff up ya' know lol), and how much he wanted to get to know me more, and eventually go out, hmm sounds good so far eh? Hang on lol! This continued, no picture yet, but yes, I enjoyed it all, so far.
Then he began to try to lure me to other communication formats, outside of the site. Most often, when men would ask if I had any other social media accounts, chat apps, or better yet (for them), my phone number, and looking for other means of communication outside of the site, prior to really getting to know me more, that meant trouble on the way, they were hiding or hiding something!
I always posted in my profiles not to ask me to communicate outside of the site, unless the situation progressed to a phone call, video call etc., and as always, despite that, they would ask all the questions I told them not to, proving to me that no one reads profiles lol! He said he was my age, but the picture he finally provided was obviously either a younger picture of him, or someone else. When I questioned him about it, he got mad and stopped communicating with me, but he came back, telling me he had "issues" he was dealing with, after which I told him "So then, you are married."
LOL! No response from him, which told me what I already knew. He finally provided an "updated picture", but in it he was wearing a ball cap, and sunglasses. Now exposed, he needed a way out. So, this was the last message I received... and I doubt his wife wrote it, he did.... " I am his wife, and no we are not getting divorced! He finally woke up and realized that he doesn't want to lose everything he has, just to go out on a date with The Bride of Frankenstein." Omg, omg, and another omg. Whew! I was left...speechless.
He disappeared from that site, so did I LOL! Hey, as far as online dating, give it a try and best wishes! It could happen, maybe you can meet the person of your dreams! Just because it never happened for me, doesn't mean it won't for you. Who knows, there's always hope.......for you maybe, not for me. Rindee
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Recently I joined a chat site for transgenders, and as always created an A-Z profile stating clearly, I was only doing this for fun, to meet online friends and communication. I require a picture of their face before chatting, or camming.
I am not interested in meeting anyone in person, and although I will choose a select few to cam with, not everyone will get that opportunity with me. I forbid anyone to use the word "love." I tell them not ask for my phone number, email address or physical address
. Do not "fall" for me or tell me you are falling for me, and generally keep things in perspective, it will go no further than this! Well, what do you think happens LOL? That's right, the opposite of what I wrote in the bio of things not to do. It can get quite scary at times especially in my position, because of their persistence, obsession, and sometimes desperation.
I want to communicate and have fun, share pictures and videos, but I would say the bigger % of them cannot keep it in perspective as per my rules, and that's the scariest part. They always want more and more, and more. Some provide pictures of tall, well-built handsome well-off gentlemen, uh, yeah right, as if any man like that would even be remotely interested in me, so I know right off it is not their picture.
Sometimes for the sake of keeping them company, I will play along with it. I know their routine....they begin the night bar hopping, from one to the next. Finally, after having no luck at any of them, they arrive at the strip club, drinking more and throwing away more money, and at the end of the night, going home broke, and alone.
Then during the wee hours, they log on and go searching for something, someone somewhere, to fill that void of loneliness. Some of them find their way to my profile and figure what the hell, at this hour, anything will do.....and they cling to the hope that, just like the song says, "The girls all get prettier at closin' time!" :) Rindee
 

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