Deafness pls help/advise

chic

chic

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U.S.
My mom still goes to the grocery store by herself sometimes. She's over ninety but fiercely independent and getting out and being with people. is something she enjoys She told me yesterday she was buying cold cuts at the store. At the cold cut counter she had to take a number and wait to be called. Mom is profoundly deaf. It's pitiful The hearing aids she requires cost $4,000 and Medicare does not cover it. Everyone in the family has offered to pay for her hearing aids but she won't accept. So when her number was called at the cold cut aisle she didn't hear it and didn't respond. When the server went past her number she noticed and made a fuss. Everyone kindly helped but she sounded so ashamed. :confused:

Question. Is there something she can do ahead of time to prevent something like this from happening again.. She must have been really embarrassed if she even bothered to mention it. I don't know what to say because she won't always wait for me or BF to take her shopping which would solve the problem.
 

This sounds like the time to suggest she goes for another hearing test to see if there’s anything they can do. We know what the answer will be, but perhaps hearing it again will help this time. There are some very high quality aids available now.

I know how she feels and can’t explain why I won’t do it either.
 
In most places where you have to take a number and wait to be called, the number current being served is displayed for all to see. If that is the case in your mother's store, she just needs to watch it so she knows when her turn is coming up.

More generally, I have no idea, and could use a suggestion myself. I am not "profoundly deaf" like your mother, but my hearing is gradually slipping away, and I have found the hearing aids I have tried to be very uncomfortable - - more uncomfortable than having to ask people to repeat things all the time.
 
chic said:
My mom still goes to the grocery store by herself sometimes. She's over ninety but fiercely independent and getting out and being with people. is something she enjoys She told me yesterday she was buying cold cuts at the store. At the cold cut counter she had to take a number and wait to be called. Mom is profoundly deaf. It's pitiful The hearing aids she requires cost $4,000 and Medicare does not cover it. Everyone in the family has offered to pay for her hearing aids but she won't accept. So when her number was called at the cold cut aisle she didn't hear it and didn't respond. When the server went past her number she noticed and made a fuss. Everyone kindly helped but she sounded so ashamed. :confused:

Question. Is there something she can do ahead of time to prevent something like this from happening again.. She must have been really embarrassed if she even bothered to mention it. I don't know what to say because she won't always wait for me or BF to take her shopping which would solve the problem.
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If she absolutely won't get hearing aids then she must be willing to allow people to help her with her disabilty.
A smile along with, "I'm hard of hearing, I'm afraid. Could you be sure to get my attention when my number comes up? I would appreciate it so much!"
At 90+ this may be the only way to handle it.
I'm not sure she's "profoundly" deaf. If so, please don't let her drive!
If they offered her hearing aids then there has to be some hearing there.
Good luck. She has a caring family!
 
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hearlady said:
If she absolutely won't get hearing aids then she must be willing to allow people to help her with her disabilty.
A smile along with, "I'm hard of hearing, I'm afraid. Could you be sure to get my attention when my number comes up? I would appreciate it so much!"
At 90+ this may be the only way to handle it.
I'm not sure she's "profoundly" deaf. If so, please don't let her drive!
If they offered her hearing aids then there has to be some hearing there.
Good luck. She has a caring family!
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Deaf people can drive.
 
raybar said:
In most places where you have to take a number and wait to be called, the number current being served is displayed for all to see. If that is the case in your mother's store, she just needs to watch it so she knows when her turn is coming up.

More generally, I have no idea, and could use a suggestion myself. I am not "profoundly deaf" like your mother, but my hearing is gradually slipping away, and I have found the hearing aids I have tried to be very uncomfortable - - more uncomfortable than having to ask people to repeat things all the time.
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Please discuss your hearing and the discomfort with some hearing aids with a professional. It may take some patience to find the right ones. You are not only loosing hearing but also speech and comprehension. SO fought his "bugs" for several years until he found the right fit. Blue tooth so work basically runs through them.
 
She needs to accept those hearing aids if she can be helped with them and if all family is willing to pitch in where it would not financially burden anyone. If that is possible, her martyr behavior doesn't work.

My stepfather is deaf now but they seem to know him at safeway where he usually grocery shops. He won't use self check. He does tell people he is deaf. At first that was hard for him. People can be jerks too. If someone doesn't respond, they can take it personally not realizing the person they are dealing with didn't hear them or something else is going on.

I'm sure it would be hard for her to announce loudly that she can't hear when she takes a number. So in this scenario, I don't know if I have the answer. Perhaps if someone is standing next to her that looks friendly enough, ask them to let her know when her number is called.

My brother gave me similar advice when I traveled to a non-English speaking country though of course many speak English. He said to look for someone young who looks friendly if you need to ask a question.
 
I have hearing problems as well, I got my first BTE aids from CostCo for about $1,500 a pair they had others more expensive. I tried over the counter cheap (< $80) amplified BTE ones from Amazon, found they were somewhat troublesome & hurt my ears, as with CostCo brand. Finally decided on the Audien (in the ear buds).

I've had one of the four finally gave up the ghost. Charged okay but just quit working. The regular were $149 for 2 pair and were so much better than the amplified models I got from Amazon. I'm going to order from Audien directly again, cheaper than Amazon with free shipping.

Sorry have trouble finding the 'kill' switch for retelling the details.
 
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raybar said:
In most places where you have to take a number and wait to be called, the number current being served is displayed for all to see. If that is the case in your mother's store, she just needs to watch it so she knows when her turn is coming up.

More generally, I have no idea, and could use a suggestion myself. I am not "profoundly deaf" like your mother, but my hearing is gradually slipping away, and I have found the hearing aids I have tried to be very uncomfortable - - more uncomfortable than having to ask people to repeat things all the time.
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Are you using medical hearing aids or amplifiers?
 
Twostep said:
Are you using medical hearing aids or amplifiers?
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Depends on the detail write up, one ad claims non-amplified, another ad includes the word amplifiers. I don't think the Amazon copywriters are medically qualified, my Audien ad says one thing, then another ad says something else. Whom do you want to believe. My Audien works fine for me & doesn't irritate my ears. The price isn't too expensive so no one is getting rich giving me unneeded hearing tests to tell me I'm deaf.

They have 'Bluetooth' connections & work great with my generic 'TV Ears' headphones & smartphone apps.

ADDED: When I first acknowledged my deafness, I went & had a professional give them a cleaning. He used a water pick & peroxide (sp) on gentle to flush them out. When I went to Costco for a hearing test they told me I had a buildup of wax so they recommended a flushing, after almost having my ear drum damaged by the nurse, i purchased a water pick & got instructions how use it (GENTLE force). Cost in the 20's so from that point on I flushed my ears on a schedule with no other problems or cost. Don't do it too often your earwax is there for a reason & don't use too much force.
 
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chic said:
No. She doesn't have them. She refuses to buy them or allow any of us in the family buy them for her. Her age is a factor too.
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Has she said why she doesn’t want them. I was thinking it might be vanity. That’s a common reason.
 
Oh, dear chic, this is a conundrum that many of us have
come across, if she is adamant about not accepting them
from any family member, will she accept company when
she goes shopping, from a family member who lives nearby?

Mike.
 
Our parents can be interesting to deal with. When I told my mother that she could use a set of hearing aids, she replied, "There's nothing wrong with my hearing, all of you should quit mumbling." How can you argue with that?
 

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