Depression how to handle the days it's bad, and therapist advice

Rich and young, I suspect.....

Don't give up; you have tried...a good first step.
maybe he wasn't good for you personally anyway; it is no good everybody saying he is wonderful if he doesn't suit you; remember, try before you buy.....

Now is not a good time of year for setbacks; so look forward to something happening soon, even if only a coffee out, people-watching for a bit.
count the number of couples not talking to each other....always fun.
deep breath, sleep well; tomorrow is another day....and remember, you can always winge on here.
 

Vivan I would have to count us if I counted the couples not talking to each other. HA! Not mad at each other, just nothing to say to each other. I post alot on here because at least people have something to say. .

I called another who the receptionist said she thought took Medicare but she didn't call back. I told her my reasons for wanting an appt.,my age, and my insurance was Medicare., and my phone number. She schedules her own appts. Either she isn't interested, or hasn't checked her messages yet. Either way she is my only hope in this town.

I have tried two more at lower clinics and after one visit decided they weren't for me. One wanted to diagnose me and give me medication that day because "I was smart", she worked mostly with children. My second visit she kept me waiting and hour while she walked in and out of the front office, so I knew she was not busy with another client. I ended up walking out. The other had never been married, was a man and had no background except for military. I know what you mean by try before you buy. This was three years ago.

I stay away from most of my friends when I am in this mood. Most love the happy, smiling me but can't handle the me who is depressed. Thanks for caring! Hoping tomorrow is a better day! At least I got a few things done today. Like some wash, and dishes. On a good day I can clean this house in 2-3 hours.
 
Great news! Therapist called back. I have an appt. Now let's just hope she is one I can talk to!
 

I know this is a difficult process. Keep trying. I was in a bad marriage. I had two children by the then husband. He was unapproachable. I was so lonely. I had taught school until I had the two children. When my youngest was 3, I got back into teaching and started divorce proceedings. I not saying this is for you, but I know being married to someone who cares nothing about sharing was not the way for me. I'm not saying this is right for you. Is your husband interested in working on your marriage? Mine wasn't. He wouldn't go to counseling with me and blamed it all on me. He would promise to go, but when the time came, he refused. I should add that he was also physically and verbally abusive. Have you tried a marriage
counselor affiliated with a church? I went to one, alone, and he said "why would you stay with him"?

This may be way off base for you and not help you at all. I am just saying I was in your shoes with depression and realized how lonely I felt.
 
Thanks Charlotta but no too late. I am 70 he is 69. He has heart problems ( had his open heart surgery at 44 and H/A at 49) and will tell anyone without me around to make him rest and go to the Dr. he would be dead.
We go to church everyone loves him. He smiles, jokes and never gets involved in anyone else's problems. Does not remember what they say to him 5minutes later because it doesn't interest him. But they don't know that. Pastor is a good buddy of his (golfing). I have said more on this thread than ever before. Therefore a therapist may be helpful so I want vent so much. The good thing is I am annomious. But I really enjoy the people here.
 
It strikes me; Just plain me; that if you find someone to vent at, you will start smiling again; though I may be wrong...
hope this therapist is one you can talk to; otherwise you will have to use us all the time!

I am sorry; I live on my own, and have developed these tactics over the years; so I enjoy watching people who don't talk; and those that do; if I can 'earwig'!

Keep venting; I moved a lot of dust yesterday....so, today; no chance!
 
Vivjen I may be taking you wrong but I do smile alot and enjoy posting. It seems to me that the great thing about these post is that if you don't like mine you can always skip over it and read something you do like or watch TV. We are all different and everyone of us are individuals. You do things your way and I will handle mine my way!
 
Only gently joking, just plain me; keep venting, and keep smiling.

I love your posts; keep 'em coming...
 
Sounds like you have a good marriage. One of the jobs in any marriage is to keep each other from being dead.:) Good luck with your therapist!
 
Sorry Vivjan guess I just took you wrong! One of the things with this depression. Meanderer you always make me smile. I bet you would be a real conversalist in person!
 
I understand where you are. Do you have a long time friend that you could reconnect with? I am saying that bc you need to have a confidant that is not connected with your husband and church. There are other women in your shoes, as you already know. I may be assuming too much, but this is what I would do. I have a friend that is in your shoes. She and I have been friends for 50 yrs. Her husband is not in good health and has a terrible temper. We don't live in the same town. When she needs to she will call and we will take a small trip, or she will come to visit. I don't have all the answers, but you need to go out of town, visit with family and friends. My thoughts and prayers are with you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to find a friend to reach out to.
 
Charlotta I have one long time friend. She is long time divorcea and she and I connect about once a year. She sends me birthday cards but if there is calling it is me. She is always busy with her own life. That is what I have found with most women. They have a schedule that doesn't include extra time it is always filled with busyiness. I have some friends here but they are the same. They have sisters and brothers and cousins to vist. No time for a coke or lunch out. Maybe I am bad company?

I went home for the first time in 4 years just a few weeks ago and my husband insisted on coming home after two days. He is a workalcholic and we like to sit and talk. I was having a wonderful time but he did not shower or shave while he was there "I haven't done anything to get dirty". Because of his passing out spells I am afraid to leave him overnight because he might fall and hit his head and no one would be here to find him. My daughter keeps telling me "What is going to happen is going to happen whether your there or not.

He doesn't worry about you when he plays golf for 4-5 hours." She is right I am sure but I would feel bad if he had a H/A and no one was with him. Many years ago when he had a H/A I was at the beauty shop and I walked in and looked at him and said "What's wrong?" His answer was "I have been having chest pains going down my arm for 30 minutes". My reply "Why didn't you call an ambulance" was met with "I knew you would be home and you would take care of me.". Since then I have been scared to be gone long. The last Dr. told him his next H/A would be major and he would have 2 minutes to get to the hospital." I guess you could say I have lived in fear since. Even though it has been 9 years. He on the other hand hasn't enjoys his life, eats what he wants and does what he wants. I had a H/A 6 years ago and if I say I have chest pains. He doesn't respond except to ask me 30 minutes or so later if they have gone. He always says I will go with you to the hospital anytime you are ready to go.

I do love him, I am just so irritated at times because he has a life and I don't seem to be able to make friends, because they want to go out to dinner together as couples and such, but he doesn't like to do couple things, and I find that on here I have said more than I have ever said to anyone personally. I did share once with someone some of our history and they broke my trust so some real issues I share with no one. So I am hoping the therapist can help. Thanks for your response I appreciate any and all suggestions.
 
JPM, I know you love him....but don't let him rule your life...
your daughter is right; what will happen, will happen, whether you are there or not.
what would happen if he was taken ill on the golf course?

Come out for a quick coffee with me; I have plenty of time..
 
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Meanderer, I knew I made a mistake! Now I know! I should have chose a dog. Can you put husbands in kennels when you would like to escape for a week or two?
 
JPM, it's time to start living the rest of your life. Go where you want to go, do what you want to do, whether he wants to join you or not. So there! You are as entitled to enjoy life as much as he is, so do. Geez, if you assume room temperature before he does, do you think his life will change any? Well, except that instead of waiting for you to take care of him, he'd call 911.

Yup. A therapist is in order. And a dog.

Gramma has spoken.
 
Wanted to thank everyone one last time for your support and advice. Had my first visit with my therapist today. Really like her. Easy to talk to. So if I groan and complain I will try to make it to her on my next visit and give your ears a rest. You all were a real life saver. Your probably the best therapist around.
 
I have been taking Wellbutrin for four years and it works pretty well for me. I would never get out of bed every day if I didn't have it. It helped me immensely when my husband was terminal with cancer. I still get depressed at times, but reading and watching T V helps.
 
Georgia Lady said:
I have been taking Wellbutrin for four years and it works pretty well for me. I would never get out of bed every day if I didn't have it. It helped me immensely when my husband was terminal with cancer. I still get depressed at times, but reading and watching T V helps.
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Have you had any problems with the Wellbutrin? What I've been taking doesn't (escitalopram)work as well as it used to. Wellbutrin was suggested to me once, but I'm kind of leery of it because of the reported seizures as a side effect.
 

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