Depression Over the Holidays

oldman

oldman

Well-known Member
Location
PA
As you “old-timers” here on this forum already know, I suffer through the holiday season with seasonal depression. This year, my depression began about the time as it usually has in the past, which is the week before Thanksgiving.

I have spoken to my Therapist for years at this time of the year. He has his PhD, so he’s not a stupid person. He relates my depression from having a really good upbringing with my parents. And I have to believe that because my parents gave us kids a really great holiday season beginning with Thanksgiving. It was incredible. My dad could have been Mr. Christmas. He was like Clark Griswold, especially when it came to putting up the lights. I was his Rusty and did the untangling of the strings of lights.

I know that I’m not alone dealing with this illness, so if any one of you reading this are one of those who also suffer with this illness, I completely understand your demise. I will get through this, but having to put on a happy face while hurting inside is very difficult.

I do not take any mental health drugs and am not willing to do so.

Thanks for reading.
 

oldman said:
As you “old-timers” here on this forum already know, I suffer through the holiday season with seasonal depression. This year, my depression began about the time as it usually has in the past, which is the week before Thanksgiving.

I have spoken to my Therapist for years at this time of the year. He has his PhD, so he’s not a stupid person. He relates my depression from having a really good upbringing with my parents. And I have to believe that because my parents gave us kids a really great holiday season beginning with Thanksgiving. It was incredible. My dad could have been Mr. Christmas. He was like Clark Griswold, especially when it came to putting up the lights. I was his Rusty and did the untangling of the strings of lights.

I know that I’m not alone dealing with this illness, so if any one of you reading this are one of those who also suffer with this illness, I completely understand your demise. I will get through this, but having to put on a happy face while hurting inside is very difficult.

I do not take any mental health drugs and am not willing to do so.

Thanks for reading.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I'm feeling it, although I deal with A&D throughout the year. In my case, I think the years that my EX attempted to control & manipulate my kids, and prevent them from being with me during the holidays seemed to have scarred something inside me.
For those unfamiliar with depression- I am happy with my life and am not crying over spilled beans, as some who like to judge others would think. After the holidays are past I'm going to make an appointment with a counselor with hopes of getting trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I would consider taking a medication for a short time, at low dosage.

Sunshine, exercise and humor can take the edge off depression, in the short run.
 
I think it's only natural that we go back to childhood memories of the holidays .. good or bad.

I miss all of my large extended family this time of the year too. We had huge gatherings over the holidays, and those times almost seem
magical in my mind... probably better than they really were..🎅
 

The images we see on tv & in magazines of the holidays are rarely what happens in real life. We’re lead to believe that this is the way it is for everyone. There‘s so much pressure to get it right. Preparation is hard work. Finances can be stretched too thin. Often your efforts aren’t appreciated or realized. The planning and work build up until December 25th and the next day it’s all forgotten.

In the US with Thanksgiving being so close together, you’re under even more pressure to create happy holiday events.

When the kids were spending every other Christmas with us, the best one we spent was in Las Vegas. No pressures & great meals. We did this three times or went some other place in the sun with no relatives.
 
@oldman , although I don't suffer from depression I do get weepy and down around the holidays. Just like you I had the most wonderful mom and dad and family anyone could ask for. My dad managed a nursery his whole life and I was like a princess back then. I could choose the best tree they had. Decorating started right after Thanksgiving.
Everyone was involved, My grandpa put the lights on as well as my aunt and uncle who lived down the street and also his own. So much baking was done.
When my kids were born it was still magic but all to soon the fun was gone.
I have two grandchildren and do get to share the holiday with them.
So now I have the added feeling of guilt because I still have a wonderful new family but yet I yearn for the old holidays.
These holidays can be so stressful for many people, especially this year in so many ways. No easy answer as to how to get through them.
My thoughts are with you.
 
The holidays were very nice when I was growing up as a kid. I, too, get SAD this time of year--having to do with lost loved ones and the gray skies that set in for months. I've been telling myself that I'm not going to let this year's holidays get me down but it's not easy. I know it's not for so many. Still, I'm trying to rise above it...maybe I'll succeed or maybe I won't...I just take each day as it comes and try to get through it as best I can and find something to hold onto.
 
I never cared for any holiday even when I was younger. We are led to believe holidays are to be a joyful time but in reality they are just another day and realizing that, you are left with an empty feeling. It's like getting a present; opening the box, and finding it empty.
 
Jules said:
The images we see on tv & in magazines of the holidays are rarely what happens in real life. We’re lead to believe that this is the way it is for everyone. There‘s so much pressure to get it right. Preparation is hard work. Finances can be stretched too thin. Often your efforts aren’t appreciated or realized. The planning and work build up until December 25th and the next day it’s all forgotten.

In the US with Thanksgiving being so close together, you’re under even more pressure to create happy holiday events.

When the kids were spending every other Christmas with us, the best one we spent was in Las Vegas. No pressures & great meals. We did this three times or went some other place in the sun with no relatives.
Click to expand...
@Jules, truer words were never spoken!
 
Jules said:
The images we see on tv & in magazines of the holidays are rarely what happens in real life. We’re lead to believe that this is the way it is for everyone. There‘s so much pressure to get it right. Preparation is hard work. Finances can be stretched too thin. Often your efforts aren’t appreciated or realized. The planning and work build up until December 25th and the next day it’s all forgotten.

In the US with Thanksgiving being so close together, you’re under even more pressure to create happy holiday events.

When the kids were spending every other Christmas with us, the best one we spent was in Las Vegas. No pressures & great meals. We did this three times or went some other place in the sun with no relatives.
Click to expand...
In the words of the great Fonzie exactomundo and my happiest holiday and birthday memories include my paternal grandparents 😘
Not my couldn't care less parents 🥵
 
Perhaps we worry too much about what others think. "I don't care" has always worked for me. We are not here to make everything right in the world so when it is not (and that is always) just bend with the wind and move on. The world of science has never tried to cure human nature because there is no cure.
 
@oldman, it's good you have those memories, not that it makes things easier. Perhaps it can make things harder? I have the opposite, we didn't have Christmas, usually Thanksgiving but my mother was very good at ruining things.

I know the holidays are hard for many. I don't do anything but I put up some winter decorations and even bought a couple thrifted ornaments this year and hung them on the wall. I still find the holidays pretty, the lights and all.
 


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