Did you have a plan for your life?
- Thread starter C50
- Start date
Aunt Bea
SF VIP
- Location
- Near Mount Pilot
I was motivated by fear and insecurity. 
My plan was always to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
I worked hard and eventually, success found me.
My plan was always to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
I worked hard and eventually, success found me.
Last edited:
Bella
ᕙ ᕗ ᕙ ᕗ ᕙ ᕗ ᕙ ᕗ
I didn't have any plans other than to graduate from college and become gainfully employed. I wasn't planning on marriage, but that changed when I met Mr. Wonderful.
We planned our lives together and had plans for the future up until he suddenly died. Since his death, those plans have literally gone up in smoke.
Now that I'm on my own, my plan is to figure out what my plan is. At this point, other than planning to eventually sell my house, I'm just rolling with the punches. The more I think about it, the more my head aches. Eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll figure it out.
Bella
We planned our lives together and had plans for the future up until he suddenly died. Since his death, those plans have literally gone up in smoke.Now that I'm on my own, my plan is to figure out what my plan is. At this point, other than planning to eventually sell my house, I'm just rolling with the punches. The more I think about it, the more my head aches. Eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll figure it out.
Bella
Capt Lightning
Well-known Member
- Location
- Historic Buchan, Scotland
I sort of knew what I wanted, but had no real plans of how to get them. I gave up on God, religion and all that rubbish at an early age and realised that we had to make our own way in life. As it happened, I had opportunities and mostly made the best of them.
Thing have turned out OK - I would like more, but I've become a tad lazy.
Thing have turned out OK - I would like more, but I've become a tad lazy.
WheatenLover
Senior Member
- Location
- Georgia
I had a plan. Get an accounting degree in GA. Continue working at my beloved job teaching accounting and other business classes at a college in GA. Get a law degree in GA. Work as state court prosecutor in GA for 2-3 years. Move to federal courts and prosecute cases involving homicides, kidnappings, missing kids, RICO, in GA. Somewhere in there, get married in GA, and have one child. Child will have nanny 4 hours a day (afternoon) and husband and I will work around that, in GA.
Instead, got married to someone who moved to Boston. Went to law school in Boston. No jobs for prosecutors - at the time, big firms were offering their lawyers (for courtroom experience) and paying them. Got a job as lawyer. Decided to get a divorce and spent months getting in top physical condition (20+ hours/week).
By now, I was getting pretty old, so decided to chance one round of IVF. Ended up pregnant with triplets, born 3 mos premature when I was 37. Career gone, basically. Divorce no longer considered. Double that when child #4 was born 1.5 years later - her nickname in utero was Tumor Surprise (after a recipe called Tuna Surprise) because I didn't realize I could be pregnant until I was 15 weeks along. I thought I had cancer (hence the tumor).
I became a housewife who tried to work (but it was nearly impossible since I had to wait until the kids were in bed and asleep). Practicing law is time-consuming and I had to use my sleep time. Started a business, wanted to expand into taking credit cards. Husband wouldn't help me do that (I had no credit or assets in my name) and said it was a very bad idea. So I closed the business, and he started it up again nearly right away. I refused to work for him.
If I hear, "God laughs while you are busy making other plans", ever again, I will consider violence. Nearly everyone laughed when they heard I was pregnant with triplets, and even more when I was pregnant with my daughter. It was so ironic, I guess. I had just spent years working full-time (55 hours/week) and going to school full-time, to meet my goals.
The chance of any pregnancy via IVF after one try was way less than 50%, and I desperately wanted a child (always have, since age 6). The chance of my having a triplet pregnancy, with babies born viable was less than 1%. This according to the docs at the IVF clinic in Boston.
Seriously, I don't think I was the ideal person to be a full-time homemaker with 4 kids and no supportive people to help, with no social life, no time to read, etc. I wanted my career and that one child. Now I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have one child for a first baby. I imagine it would be a lot more fun to have time to pay attention to just one baby.
My cousin and her husband have been raising their triplets (+1 older, and now 1 younger) while working full-time. They had help from family - lots of support there, a fully involved family, too -- and both parents were fully involved in parenting and household management/chores. I'd say my cousin is an ideal person to have 5 boys. Not that the couple had it easy, just they were more organized and more chill about it.
Instead, got married to someone who moved to Boston. Went to law school in Boston. No jobs for prosecutors - at the time, big firms were offering their lawyers (for courtroom experience) and paying them. Got a job as lawyer. Decided to get a divorce and spent months getting in top physical condition (20+ hours/week).
By now, I was getting pretty old, so decided to chance one round of IVF. Ended up pregnant with triplets, born 3 mos premature when I was 37. Career gone, basically. Divorce no longer considered. Double that when child #4 was born 1.5 years later - her nickname in utero was Tumor Surprise (after a recipe called Tuna Surprise) because I didn't realize I could be pregnant until I was 15 weeks along. I thought I had cancer (hence the tumor).
I became a housewife who tried to work (but it was nearly impossible since I had to wait until the kids were in bed and asleep). Practicing law is time-consuming and I had to use my sleep time. Started a business, wanted to expand into taking credit cards. Husband wouldn't help me do that (I had no credit or assets in my name) and said it was a very bad idea. So I closed the business, and he started it up again nearly right away. I refused to work for him.
If I hear, "God laughs while you are busy making other plans", ever again, I will consider violence. Nearly everyone laughed when they heard I was pregnant with triplets, and even more when I was pregnant with my daughter. It was so ironic, I guess. I had just spent years working full-time (55 hours/week) and going to school full-time, to meet my goals.
The chance of any pregnancy via IVF after one try was way less than 50%, and I desperately wanted a child (always have, since age 6). The chance of my having a triplet pregnancy, with babies born viable was less than 1%. This according to the docs at the IVF clinic in Boston.
Seriously, I don't think I was the ideal person to be a full-time homemaker with 4 kids and no supportive people to help, with no social life, no time to read, etc. I wanted my career and that one child. Now I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have one child for a first baby. I imagine it would be a lot more fun to have time to pay attention to just one baby.
My cousin and her husband have been raising their triplets (+1 older, and now 1 younger) while working full-time. They had help from family - lots of support there, a fully involved family, too -- and both parents were fully involved in parenting and household management/chores. I'd say my cousin is an ideal person to have 5 boys. Not that the couple had it easy, just they were more organized and more chill about it.
WheatenLover
Senior Member
- Location
- Georgia
PS I still make plans that turn to s*it totally unexpectedly. Somehow, I turn into the outlier - emergency double bypass surgery at age 46, got a bunch of rare side effects with chemo, got kidnapped at age 19 and successfully escaped, successfully fended off a rapist at age 20 - my life is full of weird stuff happening.
I just hope my latest plan works (moving to Mass).
I just hope my latest plan works (moving to Mass).
Some comments I like, and I will paraphrase because I'm too lazy to multi quote/ cut and paste.
"Plans were from having driven parents" That is so true, not many 15 to 18 year old kids have a life goal so are steered by their parents. Sadly many end up pursuing things they aren't passionant about or good at. I was a free range kid so even though I made some terrible mistakes early on I was resourceful enough to learn and rebound.
"I was driven by fear and insecurity"
Yes, yes, yes! Fear has always been a driving factor in my life, I have had near nothing and want to make sure that never happens again. Sometimes I wonder if that fear actually held me back, I always used a conservitive approach to my life and wonder how things would be different if I would have thrown caution to the wind.
"Man plans and God laughs"
I have heard that kind of comment many times and probably used it myself, but never believed it. You make your own life, sometimes it works out and sometimes not so much. Sometimes we mess it up, sometimes it's others influence that mess it up.
There's more comments I can relate to but I'm tired of typing so am moving on to more productive things. lol
"Plans were from having driven parents" That is so true, not many 15 to 18 year old kids have a life goal so are steered by their parents. Sadly many end up pursuing things they aren't passionant about or good at. I was a free range kid so even though I made some terrible mistakes early on I was resourceful enough to learn and rebound.
"I was driven by fear and insecurity"
Yes, yes, yes! Fear has always been a driving factor in my life, I have had near nothing and want to make sure that never happens again. Sometimes I wonder if that fear actually held me back, I always used a conservitive approach to my life and wonder how things would be different if I would have thrown caution to the wind.
"Man plans and God laughs"
I have heard that kind of comment many times and probably used it myself, but never believed it. You make your own life, sometimes it works out and sometimes not so much. Sometimes we mess it up, sometimes it's others influence that mess it up.
There's more comments I can relate to but I'm tired of typing so am moving on to more productive things. lol
That's my "signature" on a different forum! I've given up making long range plans. Too many variables in life.
WheatenLover
Senior Member
- Location
- Georgia
When I was getting my BBA, I was motivated by fear and insecurity, too. I had to be able to support myself. And I had to major in something I didn't particularly enjoy in order to ensure I would always be able to get a job. So, accounting was it. Accounting didn't fit my personality very well, but it fit my brain just fine. It was a totally pragmatic decision. The field has much more job security than does a degree in English Lit or Speech and Drama.I was motivated by fear and insecurity.
My plan was always to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
I worked hard and eventually, success found me.
I like the pragmatic approach as well. Most people will never make a living chasing their dreams, some do but most don't. I always advise pick a career that suits your natural abilities, and pick one that pays enough to enjoy life.