Did your parents prepare you for marriage, life, etc.?

It was a sort of 'taboo' subject in my parents household. Mrs L (as she is now) and I learned together 'on the job' so to speak. By the time we got married, we were well practised.
As Knight said "Very important was finding out that the back seat of my Ford convertible was to small for comfort" - but I bet it had more room than my Morris Minor!moggie.jpg
 

My mom and real father divorced when I was 4yrs old. But on a visit one day, I strongly recall my father telling me, "If you have sex before getting married, no decent man will want you." About 30 years later, I asked my mother if she was pregnant when her and my dad got married... She affirmed that it was true. So what was my father really telling me? Do as I say, Not what I do?šŸ˜
 
My parents didn't prepare me for marriage any more than I prepared my kids before they married.

How does one do that, anyway?

All I said to my kids was, "You realize, you have to live with this person day in and day out for years. Years. Maybe for the rest of your life."

They all said yeah, they realized that, and it's what they wanted. My sons marriages have held up. My daughter divorced and has not remarried.
 
BC Flash said:
My mother didn't prepare me for anything - even menustrating. I thought I hurt myself while climbing in a tree!!
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We were all told about menstruation and reproduction when we were 5 and then again, with more detail, when we were 9, and again when we were 13.

And I'm talking about me and my 3 brothers, and then our baby sister.

Mom said that she was swimming when she had her first menstrual period, and she thought she was hemorrhaging, so she ran home and showed her mother. Her mom handed her a pad and said, "It will happen every month." And that was it.

She learned more about it from a nun at her church who, fortunately, didn't tell her it was "God's curse on women."
 
Wife and I have been married for 53+ years! I cannot clearly remember what I knew or didn't know when we got married. But it must have been good...

By the way we honeymooned in Vegas at 19 years old! We were not asked for our ID's at all! We gambled and played slots downtown...

We still go back every year...
 
Religion, politics, and sex were never discussed in my parentā€™s household, and the one cardinal rule by which we lived was, ā€œif Momma ainā€™t happy, ainā€™t NO ONE happy!ā€

As for sex, my father once gave me a used introductory medical textbook that had a chapter on human reproduction, together with black-and-white photos of people with various genetic and sexually-transmitted diseases that put me off sex for some time! Perhaps that was the intentā€¦
 
fuzzybuddy said:
This came up in a thread. Did your parents prepare you for marriage, life in general, s---e---x, etc?
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This is an interesting question, one I never thought about before. I can't think of anything they did to prepare me for life or [sxe]. Anything really important I had to figure out on my own, usually by trial and error, so I fumbled a lot. I eventually got it right, but it didn't come easy. How do you learn anything on your own when you start from zero? And much of the "wisdom" they passed on was dead wrong.

My father was unprepared to raise children. He tried, but was not good at it. I learned some important lessons by observing my father and promising myself I would never do some of the things he did. My mother was a good person, and she loved me. The only helpful advice about life that I remember came from her. I wish I had listened to her when she told me not to resent betrayal from playmates. All she said was that I shouldn't "feel that way." A little more explanation would have probably helped. But some 50 years later, I figured out how to let go of resentments, and those words from my mother came back to me, almost like she was sitting right there next to me.

My parents fed me and gave me shelter. They helped financially with my college education, but most of the knowledge about dealing with life came to me from other helpful adults. I had an aunt and uncle and a few other adults in my life that served as role models that shaped many of my more useful skills.
 
I learned a lot from my parents about life via observation and direct advice. I intentionally mirrored some of their relationship aspects and did the opposite in others.

They didn't explain about s-e-x, but it wasn't their way. I learned from friends. Must say a lot of the information was flawed and massively incomplete. No biggie. It wasn't that difficult to figure out when the time came.

Our schools showed films about menstruation to girls starting at about age ten, so I knew what to expect on that front. My mother and older sister were also very forthcoming on that topic.

All in all, yes, I was well prepared for life and easily picked up whatever I didn't know about s-e-x . :cool:
 
Dad gave me foundations in thinking, problem solving that have served me well in many aspects of my life. Mom did give some info about puberty, menses and s*x, but living rural my first decade of life i had a clue. i read to get more detailed info. Also, fortunately had frequent contact with extended family on both sides.

i knew my Aunt Madeline would have answered anything or helped me find answers because she was actually the one who had educated her younger sisters after she got her first menstruation at school and thought she was bleeding to death, and kindly school nurse explained it to her.

Neither parent helpful re marriage. Mom had 3 in her life and did not realize till in her mid-50s that she was usually more financially stable on her own, but always felt 'incomplete' without a man at center of her life. Dad had 5 marriages--the last being best match (Mom was #2 in time and probably 2nd best for him).

And i made it a point to educate my kids, give them access to reliable sources of info cause boys might be embarrassed hearing some things from 'Mom'. Never sat them down for a lecture about it--rather i answered their questions as simply and directly as possible and if they had follow up one i answered those. One of my then teen boys bragged at camp that he knew he could talk with me about anything.
 
I've learned more about life by carefully listening to others conversations at schools, in shops and later on at work.

I got a book about pregnancy at my 13th birthday and told that troubles had arrived by the time September came around. I knew nothing of what was happening that day but the nurse gave me all the help and information I needed. Very thankful to her!

Got sent home with letter for parents... I don't know if it was read as all I got was supplies lol... I learned about the thing itself watching animals on farms and getting explanations from grandfather.

Didn't have a boyfriend till 22, last one at 24, became hubby. Must have done something right, got two precious Munchkins and 36 good years! Miss him and our son...

So overall I'd say, sibling had ruined things for me and it was always a put down. Nope, I just observed and learned as we went on day-to-day.
 
I was given a booklet by my folks when I was 13, written by the Catholic Church of which we were a part. It was heavy on the ponderous aspect of ā€œthe blessed union between man and womanā€ and nonexistent in specifics of any kind. Pictures were of men and women getting married and having children, with no explanation of how the little ones came to be.

My mom added one specific detail, which still leaves me both horrified and amused! ā€œYou know how dogs make baby dogs? Then you know what you need to knowā€ Other than that, s e x was a taboo subject.

By that time though Iā€™d gotten a wealth of mostly misinformation from my friends. I did ask my mum for supplies to keep with me at school which was a good thing because I started in the tennis court playing a match with one of my friends!

With my kids, I made sure that the subject of s e x was easy and uncomplicated and as natural to discuss as their fave music or the plot of their latest book or whatever.

Before or as they left home I also taught all of my kids how to do laundry, cook some simple meals, sew on a button, hem a seam, balance a checkbook, file an income tax return, change a tire, check the oil and and drive a vehicle
 
Sassycakes said:
Even though I had a boyfriend from when I was 13 yrs. old my Mother thought I would never get married so my Mom never told me anything to prepare me for marriage
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My parents, and what seemed to be most of my relatives for that matter, including their friends of both sexes all seemed to give me the same advice when I was a young child.

That advice being, donā€™t get married, and to stay single. As a child, my response was that Iā€™d already made that decision. I did become engaged to someone though. Mostly to show a private and public commitment.

 
Nah, sex and stuff, anything remotely connected to emotions was discussed.
Dad found it embarrassing I think. For instance he would shuffle the paper and raise it up in front of him (but surreptitiously peep round the side) if there was any kissing or hint of anything sexual on the TV. Bear in mind there was nothing risque those days either on the TV.

I was about 9 or10yrs and my sister 10 or 11yrs and we asked about how a baby was made, (we knew BTW, we were just seeing what they would say).
We were given a leaflet on the facts of life for 15+ year olds. :D
 
Only in the sense that I made up my mind not to adopt my dadā€™s bad behaviors. He was extremely judgmental and there were two ways to do a thing - his way and the wrong way. Not that he was a mean or neglectful. Not at all. He loved us and took good care of us overall. But, I saw the stress his stubbornness put on others, my mom in particular, my sister and I, and ultimately on himself. So I am much more calm even if all you other folks are doing it wrong. :)
 
I don't recall any "sit down and let me explain" sort of thing. They taught by example regarding living a good and loving married life.

Sadly, they passed away at ages 65 and 66, within 5 months of each other, mom from cancer, dad from a heart attack. We had 4 little ones, under 10 at the time, and only our oldest daughter remembers them well.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
This came up in a thread. Did your parents prepare you for marriage, life in general, s---e---x, etc?
The only advice I got was when I was walking out the door, and going to the prom. She said, "If you get her pregnant, don't come crying to us about it". That was my parents' total S----E----X education for me.
Did we do any better with our kids?
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No. I learned as I went along. Life could have been made easier but wasn't.
 

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