Divorce Wasn’t Common Then

Just curious...

Why is it called "wife swapping" instead of "husband swapping" or "couples swapping"? Maybe it is always the husbands that instigate it?

I have only personally known one person who admitted to trying wife swapping, and only on one occasion long before I knew him. I used to hear all those whispered rumors about wife swapping back in the 70s, but other than this one person, I never actually knew anybody who tried it, or at least admitted to it.

Tony
 

Just curious...

Why is it called "wife swapping" instead of "husband swapping" or "couples swapping"? Maybe it is always the husbands that instigate it?

I have only personally known one person who admitted to trying wife swapping, and only on one occasion long before I knew him. I used to hear all those whispered rumors about wife swapping back in the 70s, but other than this one person, I never actually knew anybody who tried it, or at least admitted to it.

Tony
My guess is it's more manly when the term "wife swapping" is used.
 
My guess is it's more manly when the term "wife swapping" is used.
I guess my mind just doesn't work that way. To me, a man is somebody who steps up to his responsibilities to his family, and wife swapping just doesn't seem to me to be a part of that.

However, I can see your point since mainstream "manly" is not something I agree with, but recognize its pervasiveness.

Tony
 
I guess my mind just doesn't work that way. To me, a man is somebody who steps up to his responsibilities to his family and wife swapping just doesn't seem to me to be a part of that.

Tony
Sure, I agree, just as a woman accepts and steps up to the plate to embrace her responsibilities, but knowing how forefront men have always been in society (traditionally), with women tending to be in the background (traditionally), "wife swapping" just seems befitting to me.

Just think... those wife-swapping men can congregate at some stinky hole in the wall pub, sliding beers back while sharing their stories with one another, and then when the day comes for everything to be split down the middle, they can once again congregate at the same stinky hole in the wall pub and cry together. :giggle:
 
Just curious...

Why is it called "wife swapping" instead of "husband swapping" or "couples swapping"? Maybe it is always the husbands that instigate it?

I have only personally known one person who admitted to trying wife swapping, and only on one occasion long before I knew him. I used to hear all those whispered rumors about wife swapping back in the 70s, but other than this one person, I never actually knew anybody who tried it, or at least admitted to it.

Tony
In my in-laws case, I guess it was probably "couples swapping", but they did marry each others spouse and everyone stayed married.
 
What never made sense to me was laws stating it is legal to marry at 18 years of age. At 18 the typical teen know less than nothing about life and how to manage it. "NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY" applies to low income jobs not marriages.
Back in the old days, when I was young, it was common to get married at 18. I am certainly not saying people should, it was just quite common where I grew up.
 
Additionally, what I see in marriages and relationships today, is outside the scope of the ideals of marriage and relationships back in the day.

Marriage (back in the day) was about marriage, today, marriage (from a lot of what I see) is about - what's in it for me. What can I get out of this relationship?

Materialism, a trophy (significant other wrapped around arm), money, status.

We don't have to look long or far to observe the fake and shallow lifestyles along with the disposable marriages that Hollywood so proudly graces the world with for our viewing enjoyment and pleasure from day-to-day, and it casts itself upon today's younger generation, relaying to everyone that it's okay to live that kind of lifestyle.

As the old saying goes... "we're a product of our own making".
 
This is just my opinion, but I think in the future, marriage vows will be completely different. It will be temporal and renewable if both parties agree. Eternal marriage is not possible on Earth. It can be eternal in the absolute field of existence
This is a lowly world in the scheme of things, and we have not reached our full potentials or the highest levels of God consciousness.

With the high rate of divorse, something is not working.
Adultery is rampant.

Ladies, If you are married to a man who is actually FAITHFUL to you, Wow! You better treasure him!
 
This is just my opinion, but I think in the future, marriage vows will be completely different. It will be temporal and renewable if both parties agree. Eternal marriage is not possible on Earth. It can be eternal in the absolute field of existence
This is a lowly world in the scheme of things, and we have not reached our full potentials or the highest levels of God consciousness.

With the high rate of divorse, something is not working.
Adultery is rampant.

Ladies, If you are married to a man who is actually FAITHFUL to you, Wow! You better treasure him!
I'm trying to talk myself into thinking along these lines more and more all the time, Gaer.
 
Growing up in a small farm town, I didn't know of anyone who'd been divorced, probably for all the reasons previously stated. I do wonder if couples today put less work into their relationships than in times past. It takes work.
 
Growing up in a small farm town, I didn't know of anyone who'd been divorced, probably for all the reasons previously stated. I do wonder if couples today put less work into their relationships than in times past. It takes work.
When my husband was alive, we just had a kind of happy-go-lucky relationship. People (usually religious people ) would talk about how marriage needs work! We would look at each other and scratch our heads. "What work?" Marriage was fun! There wasn't any "work" involved!
So, This statement confuses me!
Jon, I'm not in any way condemning your statement, but, I don't remember any "stress" or "Fear" or "work" to keep the marriage together. It was just enjoyable!
 
My lovely parents divorced in the 1960s and remarried. I'll never know what was behind their divorce as they never talked about it and we were too young to even know what had transpired. It was years later that my mother told us that they had gotten divorced, but remarried.
 
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When my husband was alive, we just had a kind of happy-go-lucky relationship. People (usually religious people ) would talk about how marriage needs work! We would look at each other and scratch our heads. "What work?" Marriage was fun! There wasn't any "work" involved!
So, This statement confuses me!
Jon, I'm not in any way condemning your statement, but, I don't remember any "stress" or "Fear" or "work" to keep the marriage together. It was just enjoyable!
Sometimes unexpected things can intervene (e.g., spouse almost dying causing personality change, ill health, early onset dementia, problems with children, etc.) that can put a strain on a relationship.
 
When my husband was alive, we just had a kind of happy-go-lucky relationship. People (usually religious people ) would talk about how marriage needs work! We would look at each other and scratch our heads. "What work?" Marriage was fun! There wasn't any "work" involved!
So, This statement confuses me!
Jon, I'm not in any way condemning your statement, but, I don't remember any "stress" or "Fear" or "work" to keep the marriage together. It was just enjoyable!
Me, too. It was never work. It is now.
 
When my husband was alive, we just had a kind of happy-go-lucky relationship. People (usually religious people ) would talk about how marriage needs work! We would look at each other and scratch our heads. "What work?" Marriage was fun! There wasn't any "work" involved!
So, This statement confuses me!
Jon, I'm not in any way condemning your statement, but, I don't remember any "stress" or "Fear" or "work" to keep the marriage together. It was just enjoyable!
Maybe we are fortunate, but my wife and I were friends for several years before getting serious and eventually getting married. So I guess I would describe our experience as much like yours. True, I am also her caretaker, but to me, that is part of what the marriage vows are about.

Tony
 
Just curious...

Why is it called "wife swapping" instead of "husband swapping" or "couples swapping"? Maybe it is always the husbands that instigate it?

I have only personally known one person who admitted to trying wife swapping, and only on one occasion long before I knew him. I used to hear all those whispered rumors about wife swapping back in the 70s, but other than this one person, I never actually knew anybody who tried it, or at least admitted to it.

Tony
My husband wanted us to try 'swinging' as it's called. I took it as confirmation that he didn't love me and that was the beginning of the end.
 
This is just my opinion, but I think in the future, marriage vows will be completely different. It will be temporal and renewable if both parties agree. Eternal marriage is not possible on Earth. It can be eternal in the absolute field of existence
This is a lowly world in the scheme of things, and we have not reached our full potentials or the highest levels of God consciousness.

With the high rate of divorse, something is not working.
Adultery is rampant.

Ladies, If you are married to a man who is actually FAITHFUL to you, Wow! You better treasure him!
That's a nice thought if you can confine it to just the two of you.

Not so nice when you think about the children who suffer the consequences or do we tell the kids to start banging away as soon as they're old enough because marriage and commitment are a thing of the past. Grab the most attractive girl or guy, have a good time and cast them aside when someone better comes into view.

You are probably correct as to the direction in which life is heading but for sake of our kids, I can't see myself wishing to hurry it along.
 
Additionally, what I see in marriages and relationships today, is outside the scope of the ideals of marriage and relationships back in the day.

Marriage (back in the day) was about marriage, today, marriage (from a lot of what I see) is about - what's in it for me. What can I get out of this relationship?

Materialism, a trophy (significant other wrapped around arm), money, status.

We don't have to look long or far to observe the fake and shallow lifestyles along with the disposable marriages that Hollywood so proudly graces the world with for our viewing enjoyment and pleasure from day-to-day, and it casts itself upon today's younger generation, relaying to everyone that it's okay to live that kind of lifestyle.

As the old saying goes... "we're a product of our own making".
Well said Marg. Reflecting on my earlier post about my Mother's premature death, what I experienced in the aftermath, as did my siblings, is that my Father couldn't physically go to work, come home, cook a meal, make sure our homework was done, get us off to bed. Get the vacuum out, clean the place, make sure that the dusting was done, sort the soiled washing, prepare the next wash, retrieve the previously dried washing, get it ironed, get himself bathed, fall into bed, get up and start all over again. He gave it a good go mind, but we quickly learned how to change our bed linen weekly, how to sort soiled washing into hot washes, colour fast washes, dark clothing washes. I took it to the launderette, my two small sisters dried and ironed it and our even smaller brother vacuumed, dusted and put away the freshly ironed laundry. In other words, we grew up. All of us took those childhood skills and experiences into our marriages.

Those experiences have taught me that it doesn't happen, someone makes it happen. Why should that someone always be mother? It might sound trivial but I think it's relevant, before I put my underpants in the laundry basket I always check that there's nothing there that would disgust me if I had to sort someone else's laundry. That's what sibling squabbling taught me about: "You did it, you clean it."
Such an attitude goes for everything else.
 
Well said Marg. Reflecting on my earlier post about my Mother's premature death, what I experienced in the aftermath, as did my siblings, is that my Father couldn't physically go to work, come home, cook a meal, make sure our homework was done, get us off to bed. Get the vacuum out, clean the place, make sure that the dusting was done, sort the soiled washing, prepare the next wash, retrieve the previously dried washing, get it ironed, get himself bathed, fall into bed, get up and start all over again. He gave it a good go mind, but we quickly learned how to change our bed linen weekly, how to sort soiled washing into hot washes, colour fast washes, dark clothing washes. I took it to the launderette, my two small sisters dried and ironed it and our even smaller brother vacuumed, dusted and put away the freshly ironed laundry. In other words, we grew up. All of us took those childhood skills and experiences into our marriages.

Those experiences have taught me that it doesn't happen, someone makes it happen. Why should that someone always be mother? It might sound trivial but I think it's relevant, before I put my underpants in the laundry basket I always check that there's nothing there that would disgust me if I had to sort someone else's laundry. That's what sibling squabbling taught me about: "You did it, you clean it."
Such an attitude goes for everything else.
My mother also died in her 30's...I was given the job of looking after all my siblings, the youngest only 10 , while my father worked full time...
 
That's a nice thought if you can confine it to just the two of you.

Not so nice when you think about the children who suffer the consequences or do we tell the kids to start banging away as soon as they're old enough because marriage and commitment are a thing of the past. Grab the most attractive girl or guy, have a good time and cast them aside when someone better comes into view.

You are probably correct as to the direction in which life is heading but for sake of our kids, I can't see myself wishing to hurry it along.
Excellent point. No, it's not what iwould have hoped forthisworld, but alas, maybe it's where the world is heading.
 
My mother also died in her 30's...I was given the job of looking after all my siblings, the youngest only 10 , while my father worked full time...
holly, from day one there was something about your postings that I empathised with, your relating the death of your Mother in her 30's came as an eye opener. I'm so grateful to you for sharing that, much appreciated.
 


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