Do "Nice" people get more medical problems than "mean" people?

barbarak333 said:
I didn't write this. It makes sense to me that mean people are selfish and kind people are selfless.

"Nature inherently favors the morally bankrupt and selfish.

Selfishness is the ultimate tool for survival, from an evolutionary perspective. Evolution awards selfishness with increased life span and propagation of one’s genes. Selflessness is rewarded with an early death and the ending of your genes.

Back in cave men times, only the selfish survived. Those who were selfless didn’t survive long enough to reproduce. That’s why ancient times are always filled with violent kings and dictators. Ruthlessness and selfishness is what nature favors. If you were kind and compassionate, the selfish would come and take advantage of you and they’d subjugate you knowing that you don’t have the desire to hurt. They take your kindness and turn it against you. Kings and dictators knew this so they ruled with iron fists and those who didn’t were toppled by their power hungry siblings or cousins, perpetuating the cycle of selfishness.

Even in the wild, animals who are ruthless and selfish will survive and those who are selfless will die early. Only the selfish and ruthless animals can hope to survive in an environment as harsh as the wild.

Although as time goes on, humans have developed technology and evolved their morals. These days, good people have the same chance of living as bad people. But selfish people definitely find it easier to get into better social positions such as CEOs and politicians or other cut throat industries because they can burn more people along the way and not feel bad.

The world we live in is an inherently predatory place. Survival is winning and that’s why the greedy and selfish find it easier to get to the top."
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I can see where being selfish would help the individual survive, but the children of totally selfish people would not survive and that parent's evolutionary line would die. The kind caveman's wife would live through pregnancy because he would share his food with her and they both would need to work to feed the children. I can also imagine a tribe of caring people working together to trap and kill a large game animal, where the selfish person wouldn't co-operate or would steal more than his share and be kicked out of the tribe.

The Kings and Queens and top CEO's are such a small part of society I don't really give them much consideration in social studies. I don't think of them as at the top or winning, and I would never think of them as living the ideal life or one I would envy.
 

I doubt that mean people are somehow healthier and resistant to disease than those in the nice category. The “mean” lack friends and if the victim of an illness are unlikely to share that fact with friends, because they have none.
 

Remy said:
I hope you were treated well there. I've mentioned before I stayed with some family because my mother knew the woman. My mother was ill. I found out years later she had TB. They treated me very well. Had a daughter a couple years older than me. The older brothers didn't seem to like me, or their sister and we were not allowed in their room.

But I remember the car being loaded up and spending the day at the beach. Things we never did after my mother married my stepfather.

You had toxic family all around.
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The best I can say about the various Foster homes was that altho' we got punished with a belt for small things.. it was nowhere nearly as often as the beatings at home.. or as vicious.

The good thing about the foster homes, particularly the group home where it was the only time I wasn't sent alone .. and had a brother and sister younger than me there as well... was that it had structure , which was missing at home.

At home ...I can say all of this in retrospect now but of course didn't know it at the time... ...that at home we were expected to follow rules and regulations, but when we didn't because we'd never been taught them, we were or mostly me and my brother were beaten to a pulp for not ''behaving''.. but no-one showed us what we were supposed to do... but took great delight in the violence when we didn't follow the rules..

The group foster home was the first one ( I was 9 when I first went there) that I remember being taught the rules.. and we didn't rebel.. we followed them.

Only once did we get a visit, and that was from the sperm donor. My mother was in hospital again. We were told he was coming.. so I wrote to him and asked if he would bring my doll.. my one and only doll ..a Tressy doll that had been given to me second hand by my neighbour school friend.. it was the only toy I had, I loved that doll.. . We had few toys at the Group home... so I counted off the days to his visit , looking forward to having my doll.... and when he arrived, he hadn't brought it..

That hurt me more than any beatings I'd ever had

he stayed maybe 15 minutes and left... to this day I think it was an enforced visit.. perhaps the Manager had asked to see him for something..who knows, I don't think he came just to see us..... but there we were just 9, 8 and 5... in a different town, far from home and our school.. living with 16 other fostered children, and a bunch of women we didn't know and had to call aunties , attending a completely different school.... and we got one visit from our father, and none from mum even when she got out of hospital.
 
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hollydolly said:
you got the exact same score as me.... ....yet my family were never in any way shape or form financially supportive..
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I didn’t realize we were competing.
I’m focussing on forgiveness and getting better.

I was never without food but that didn’t help the broken ribs, tailbone, or wrist. The food never stopped my dad from beating me weekly. The food didn’t cover all the bruises I had.

Note: You have me on ignore. Please put me back on ignore.
 
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I got a 2 and I know I was luckier than many children, yet I still remember those few times bad things were said and done to me, -- so I have nothing but sympathy for those of you who suffered terrible abuse on a regular basis.

I definitely get that Holly's disappointment over not getting her doll was one of the worst things. A little girl hoping to have that one comfort and "friend," from home and then not getting it... so awful.
 
I tend to agree, I've noticed this trend. Selfish horrible people do live seem to live longer and seem to suffer less. It's as if they are fuelled by some wicked survival instinct.

Old sayings are usually wise. I have heard the one saying only the good die young.
 
Ladies please, it's not a competition at all.

I got some financial help from my mother and stepfather. But looking back, I think it was to keep me under their control. I was not making a decent wage until my early 30's. They never mentioned taking some of that money and sending us to college however. On a forum I go to for adult abused children, I'm amazed at the education some have and those that got sent to college out of high school. College was never mentioned to us. I think keeping us low wage was what my mother wanted. Especially me. She had more control over me that way.
 
Got a big fat zero on the ACE test. I did get spanked a couple of times that I can remember, but they were well deserved.

A couple of days ago I saw a short video that was a doctor talking about how, in med school, they never talked about the apparent linkage between a number of autoimmune diseases and a passive personality. I looked this morning, but cannot find it.
 
Remy said:
Ladies please, it's not a competition at all.

I got some financial help from my mother and stepfather. But looking back, I think it was to keep me under their control. I was not making a decent wage until my early 30's. They never mentioned taking some of that money and sending us to college however. On a forum I go to for adult abused children, I'm amazed at the education some have and those that got sent to college out of high school. College was never mentioned to us. I think keeping us low wage was what my mother wanted. Especially me. She had more control over me that way.
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I agree. It’s not a competition.
I never got any money off my parents. In fact, I started working at 15 and left home at 16. Being self sufficient was a priority for me. I even paid for my own education.
 
Rose65 said:
I tend to agree, I've noticed this trend. Selfish horrible people do live seem to live longer and seem to suffer less. It's as if they are fuelled by some wicked survival instinct.

Old sayings are usually wise. I have heard the one saying only the good die young.
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I can remember my mother, even when she wasn't in a rage, walk into the house and the look of contempt and this huge wave of negative nasty energy she brought with her. Yet she had all the power. The stepfather gave it to her and us kids of course had none. She had no fear, unlike us. She was the one in control of everything. It makes me so mad to think of that now.

And then when she did rage and if she broke something in anger, she'd leave and we had to clean up her mess.
 
Remy said:
I can remember my mother, even when she wasn't in a rage, walk into the house and the look of contempt and this huge wave of negative nasty energy she brought with her. Yet she had all the power. The stepfather gave it to her and us kids of course had none. She had no fear, unlike us. She was the one in control of everything. It makes me so mad to think of that now.

And then when she did rage and if she broke something in anger, she'd leave and we had to clean up her mess.
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So awful.Try not to think of it now, for the sake of your own peace of mind. We are not responsible for how our parents behaved.
 
Remy said:
I can remember my mother, even when she wasn't in a rage, walk into the house and the look of contempt and this huge wave of negative nasty energy she brought with her. Yet she had all the power. The stepfather gave it to her and us kids of course had none. She had no fear, unlike us. She was the one in control of everything. It makes me so mad to think of that now.

And then when she did rage and if she broke something in anger, she'd leave and we had to clean up her mess.
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I know exactly what you mean when you get so mad now thinking about it.....

I think now ..I wish I had been this age or had the maturity of this age when my father or even both parents were being abusive....
 
hollydolly said:
I know exactly what you mean when you get so mad now thinking about it.....

I think now ..I wish I had been this age or had the maturity of this age when my father or even both parents were being abusive....
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Oh holly I have thought of this. The things I'd say. But it took me so many years to process everything. And when dealing with them, they get nothing you say anyway. They are always the victim. But I'd say it anyway.

It boggles my mind when the perpetrators play victim. But they sure do. I experienced it myself and I've posted "The Missing Missing Reasons" here before about the online forums for adult children who have gone no contact with their po' "innocent" parents. The parents claim to have no idea what they did.
 
Remy said:
Oh holly I have thought of this. The things I'd say. But it took me so many years to process everything. And when dealing with them, they get nothing you say anyway. They are always the victim. But I'd say it anyway.

It boggles my mind when the perpetrators play victim. But they sure do. I experienced it myself and I've posted "The Missing Missing Reasons" here before about the online forums for adult children who have gone no contact with their po' "innocent" parents. The parents claim to have no idea what they did.
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Just terrible what you went through... but you're so right many of these perpetrators play victim when confronted.

My father was never confronted, people were too afraid of him..neighbours our extended family of uncles and aunts ( his siblings)... the latter were powerful people in their own right but my father was such a mean person no-one dare take him to task for his actions towards his own children and wife.

Today people would report him... the only person that reported him was my brother and I when were just 8 and 7 years old.

We ran to the police station one day when he was beating our mum.

The police told us to go home and don't say we'd been to the station.

We went home, and a few minutes later the police arrived.

My mum answered the door clearly having been hit, and lied to the police that there was nothing going on... they had no option but to leave.

My mother obviously realised it was us who told on him.. and she pulled us aside young as we were.. and said never to do that again, because he would face court, and a fine..or imprisonment, and either way she would have no money coming into the home and we would all have to go into foster homes

there we were just infants really.. and being told all this by our own mother.. and watching as she lied to the police... this was a big lesson for us.. we knew then we were trapped..
 

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