Do not be afraid to get up and leave a doctor's office

JMummey

JMummey

New Member
I took my 84 year old and frail relative to a new doctor today and something happened that, had I not been there, would have kept her there unnecessarily for several hours. In her condition, this cannot happen. She is so nice, there is no way she would have walked out had I not assured her that it was ok to do so.

This was a new doctor and this was the second visit (the first visit was for x-rays and evaluation), this second visit was to discuss possible physical therapy and laser therapy for neuropathy. She is already under the care of a primary physician she sees regularly and that doctor was in favor of physical therapy and was not against laser therapy since it had helped my relative in the past.

When we arrived they placed us in a room with other people, we sit down, they do an introductory speech about spinal adjustments and then play a movie and leave - the movie is a doctor rambling on and on and on about all kinds of things that have nothing to do with physical therapy or laser therapy. A few of the patients in the room fall asleep at the 15 minute mark. There is no indication of when the movie will end and no employees are in the room with us. At this point I begin to talk with her about leaving, she is hesitant but by the 25 minute mark of the video ramblings still going full steam ahead, we leave.

As we exit the room we are met with several employees all the way to the checkout desk asking us to stay to meet with the doctor to go over the test results and I was very nice and just repeatedly said thank you so much for your time but I am sorry we are unable to stay. I asked if we needed to pay anything for today, they said no, continued to press us to stay and I thanked them for their time and left.

This is the first time we met with a doctor that gave us no indication of what to expect from a visit and the behavior was so far removed from what I normally see with doctors. They normally give us as much as they can beforehand so the elderly patient can stay in their home as long as possible so that when we arrive we only have to deal with two things: waiting for the appointment (and often this is lengthy because emergencies happen every day and that is completely normal) and then seeing the doctor.

An elderly patient should not have to endure fear factor style sales pitches regarding treatments that they cannot have. The whole thing was so weird. If any of you reading this are elderly and have to go to a new doctor alone, please remember that it is ok to leave if you are not comfortable and you don't have to have any fear about doing it. Just take a deep breath, smile, get up, thank them for their time, pay them if you owe anything, and leave.

From the car, before we left the parking lot, I called another office near our home that offers physical therapy and laser therapy for neuropathy. We will see them next week and I didn't even need to ask her about what to expect, she told us what was going to happen, how long it would take, and what she would need in advance from my relative and her primary physician. I have a feeling this visit is going to go much better:) Good luck out there!
 

“We’re out to lunch!”

One afternoon last summer I drove my neighbor to a kidney stone treatment center for an extracorporeal shock wave treatment. A 45 minute ride. He was in terrible pain, had difficulty getting in and out my car, ambulating and needed me to support him. I had to hold him up as we slowly made our way inside.

We had done all the paperwork online that morning so they took us straight to a changing room, and then into another with a tv and VCR where we had to watch a tape about the procedure. The room was freezing cold.

We watched the 5 minute video and waited and waited and waited - and waited. Twenty minutes. My neighbor was in indescribable pain so I went to ask what the delay was.

“We’re on lunch,” the technician said, “someone should be with you soon.” I told my neighbor and he said, “I’d ask you to take me home but I really don’t think I can move.”

They took him in ten minutes later. He walked out 30 minutes later looking and feeling like a new man.
 

MaddHollander said:
“We’re out to lunch!”

One afternoon last summer I drove my neighbor to a kidney stone treatment center for an extracorporeal shock wave treatment. A 45 minute ride. He was in terrible pain, had difficulty getting in and out my car, ambulating and needed me to support him. I had to hold him up as we slowly made our way inside.

We had done all the paperwork online that morning so they took us straight to a changing room, and then into another with a tv and VCR where we had to watch a tape about the procedure. The room was freezing cold.

We watched the 5 minute video and waited and waited and waited - and waited. Twenty minutes. My neighbor was in indescribable pain so I went to ask what the delay was.

“We’re on lunch,” the technician said, “someone should be with you soon.” I told my neighbor and he said, “I’d ask you to take me home but I really don’t think I can move.”

They took him in ten minutes later. He walked out 30 minutes later looking and feeling like a new man.
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WOW. I am so glad he was finally able to get relief, I really worry about patients that have to go through things like this alone. I am so glad you were with your neighbor.
 
When the (new to me) dermatologist's office manager handed me a tablet and pretty much demanded that I key in my medical information, I handed it back to her and stated simply, "I do not put my medical information online. If this is your system, goodbye." She nodded, looking rather startled, and I turned around and walked out.
 
Agreed. I had been going to the same doctor for years. She and her father were in practice together and were very "old school". I liked the attention I got but she was usually an hour late in seeing me. She would talk to me about my pets and travel. She was a wonderful person.

However, I was working at the time and couldn't give up 2 hours out of my day. One day she was out and I had an appointment with her father. I sat in the exam room forever and heard him shooting the breeze with a patient in the next room. I got up, told the front desk my time was valuable and started to leave. Her assistant called me back into the room, apologized and asked if there was anything they could do to keep me as a patient. I told her I had waited for extended periods too many times and there was nothing that could be done.

I've now been going to a great doctor for many years. He is around my age, closer by and sees me promptly. We exchange a few pleasantries but he gets right to the point with the results of my exams. I'm in and out quickly. It is okay to "fire" your doctor!
 
I know someone who was on the gurney in the operating room to have surgery on her hand and just before the anesthesiologist started the stuff to put her under, the surgeon mentioned how this surgery was going to relieve the pain she'd been having, she said "Forget about the pain. You promised me this was going to give me dexterity back in that hand." He said "No I didn't, all I can do is relieve some of your pain." She said "Oh, no, no, you promised me. So forget it! I don't want surgery if I'm not going to be able to use my hand better." And she pulled the I.V. out, swung her legs over the side of the gurney and stalked out of there.
 
seadoug said:
Agreed. I had been going to the same doctor for years. She and her father were in practice together and were very "old school". I liked the attention I got but she was usually an hour late in seeing me. She would talk to me about my pets and travel. She was a wonderful person.

However, I was working at the time and couldn't give up 2 hours out of my day. One day she was out and I had an appointment with her father. I sat in the exam room forever and heard him shooting the breeze with a patient in the next room. I got up, told the front desk my time was valuable and started to leave. Her assistant called me back into the room, apologized and asked if there was anything they could do to keep me as a patient. I told her I had waited for extended periods too many times and there was nothing that could be done.

I've now been going to a great doctor for many years. He is around my age, closer by and sees me promptly. We exchange a few pleasantries but he gets right to the point with the results of my exams. I'm in and out quickly. It is okay to "fire" your doctor!
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It's not ok to fire your doctor here as the wait list is 2 years to get a GP here in BC, Canada. However, if my GP did something really terrible, yes, I would get another doctor.
 
I went to a local ENT to get a decades old deviated septum fixed, but he found a sinus tumor and sent me off to a university hospital to see a specialist.

After tests the specialist said he could remove the tumor through my nose. To do that he would have to break it, but once the tumor was out he would reset my nose; “When I’m done,” he said, “you will breathe much better. Look better too.”

He was only half right. No cure for ugly.
 
Eupher said:
When the (new to me) dermatologist's office manager handed me a tablet and pretty much demanded that I key in my medical information, I handed it back to her and stated simply, "I do not put my medical information online. If this is your system, goodbye." She nodded, looking rather startled, and I turned around and walked out.
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Well done!
 
I dated a doctor for several years before I met Ron, and his advice was to try for the first or close to the first appointment of the day. That even the most efficient clinics and staff will often run late, not from overbooking but just the random exigencies of dealing with patients. The earlier your appointment the less chance of some emergency before you that has caused the doc to run late.

The other thing he advised was if you were nervous about a visit for whatever reason make sure to bring a trusted advocate with you. If you’re nervous or concerned, or shocked by a finding, you’re less likely to ask all the questions or make an appropriate decision.

I do both these things always to a routinely positive result. I’m bringing my daughter with me to my pre-op eye appointment later this month because I’m nervous about the surgery and she will steady me and be very focused so that if I fail to ask appropriate questions she’ll pick up the slack.
 
In most of the cases I don't have to wait for long at my GPs office. But the specialists are different. Often neurologists let sit somebody for 4 (!) hours in the waiting room, only to see you for 5 to 10 minutes. A German joke is the 3-3-3 rule. 3 months for an appointment, 3 hours in the waiting room, 3 minutes with the doctor.

At my phlebologists office two years ago I waited for several hours in the evening to control if my 4th deep vein thrombosis had vanished. I was in the waiting room and half a dozen patients came later but could see the doctor always after some minutes. I told him this and he only answered that's all normal. He told me to come back for another control after 3 months, but I didn't.
 
My sister is a champ at this, she had an appointment and waited and waited .... time had been way past the appointment time and she got up got a small tablet out of her purse and wrote out a bill to the doctor office.
She told they an appointment is on BOTH parties agreement not just one way and they wasted an hour of her time and that is worth $X ...... she was seen immediately and never had to wait again.
It is not the patients fault if they overbooked or whatever most people understand if something emergent happens but a waiting room should be informed about a delay over 15 minutes from appointment time. They are working for you not the other way and once they know you will not put up with it they can decide to honor the appointment time.
 
I had this happen to me at a cardiologists office once. I had waited in the lobby waiting room for about an hour and a half...then called back in to a room for another 40mins. A nurse did tell me at one point that he doc was running behind. Actually, I think he was still out to lunch. Anyways, I left. Went up to the receptionist and told her I was leaving, I had waited long enough and wanted my co-payment back.

About a week after that happened they either called or wrote me? asking if something unprofessional had happened with this doc for me to leave like I did. Nothing had happened and I explained. Weird.

Then later in talking w/one of my long time gfriends, she tells me she's dating him! He took her to Mexico.
He's married. (n)
 
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If an appt is at 8:15 and at 8:30,still have not been taken to a room, I will ask the person up front how much longer will it be...I have another appt at ...within in 5 mintues I am taken to the back to be seen.
I know this for fact from a doctor or two- unless they are in a private practice, they must see as many patients as possible.
They are suppose to see patients in 10-15 minutes tops then move to another. Even doctors complain to is not always possible.Big business took over and as usual all about money ;)
 
RedAlert76 said:
If an appt is at 8:15 and at 8:30,still have not been taken to a room, I will ask the person up front how much longer will it be...I have another appt at ...within in 5 mintues I am taken to the back to be seen.
I know this for fact from a doctor or two- unless they are in a private practice, they must see as many patients as possible.
They are suppose to see patients in 10-15 minutes tops then move to another. Even doctors complain to is not always possible.Big business took over and as usual all about money ;)
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All true.
 
I had to have a capsulotomy done after cataract surgery my my ophthalmologists. The escort placed me in the room where it was done and left. I waited 15 minutes, 30 minutes and 1 hour. Nobody came in to preform the procedure. After about 90 minutes, someone walked by the room and asked what I was doing there. I told them I had been waiting an hour and half for a capsulotomy. They disappeared without a word.

After about another 15 minutes, the doctor came in and seemed rushed; he didn't even sit down to do the procedure. Just leaned over the machine and buzz, buzz, all done. I was seriously thinking of changing doctors, but he's local and easy to get to. Others are further away and in a more congested area I am not comfortable driving to.
 
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My DH , best friend ( now deceased ) would wait an hour in a GP clinic if he wasn’t seen to in that time period he’d go up to the counter and give them his phone number and say call me , when you’ve got time to fit me in ..cause I’m not waiting a minute longer
He threatened more than once to send them a bill for HIS “wasted time“ sitting in the waiting room.

As for us our GP of 37 years ( for me ) is in the city 2 hours drive from where we live ,so we make the first appointment of the day three months ahead at .8.30 am , we do that at the advice of the clinic then if we feel we don’t need the app we cancel it and make another~ 3 months latter then that one ….we have a app called Hot Docs we can make or cancel appointments in a few minutes with the doctor of our choice
 

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