Do you believe unconditional love is real?

outlander said:
There has been several threads that I started that ended up way over the top bordering on out of control, so I stopped responding.
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Makes sense Outlander. That can happen bordering on out of control. In those situations I too stop responding and of course with any ‘likes’. So I do as you do..

OR I might just post a sentence thanking every for their posts and thoughts. Actually I like to read threads and not post at all 😊
 

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If by unconditional love, you mean acceptance, I think it may be possible.
However, if by unconditional love you mean a deep affection, then no.
I think the only true test would be to see if it applies in a worst-case scenario, thus removing all conditions.

(Pardon the graphic nature used here) If you had a young daughter who was the light of your life, and someone tortured, raped and then chopped her up with an axe, I highly doubt you would feel deep affection for that person.

I think it's possible to accept others unconditionally if we are extremely broad minded, but having deep affection for them does have it's limits. JMO
 
bobcat said:
If you had a young daughter who was the light of your life, and someone tortured, raped and then chopped her up with an axe, I highly doubt you would feel deep affection for that person.
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As we know, there are many cases where one spouse in a marriage has done similar things to their own child. And the other spouse could still love them?

If it makes me a lesser person than some, I don't care. My love has conditions.
 

Ronni said:
I have unconditional love for my children. Towards anyone else I have a breaking point.
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Same. I know I would still love my son no matter what he did, but I don't think I have unconditional love for anyone else, although I know my threshold is high. I was the last person still talking to my older brother when he died and he couldn't believe I was still talking to my father after all the things he had said to me over his final 20 years.
 
i do.
As both Aunt Bea and Irish Eyes pointed out--you can love someone without giving acceptance of behavior you disapprove of in principle. You love someone even tho you leave them or distance yourself from them due to toxic behaviors on their part. This is easier with our children, but can occur with our parents, siblings and friends as well.

My best friend in High School and i grew apart when we were around 26 years old. i tried reaching out a couple of times but she never responded, even when i'd contacted her parents 12 yrs later just to assure myself she was alive and 'well'. Finally in the early 2000s she found me on FB, talked via messenger and on phone. It was almost as if no time had passed. As different as our lives had always been she had grown in ways (taking care of her parents as they aged likely helped) that gave us more common ground than just the abstract principles we'd shared in youth.

What is more people can feel that love even when you express your concerns. i believe i've mentioned before that when they went to a kind of educational summer camp in their teens--where lots of deep discussions were the standard--my sons bragged they could talk to me about anything. One of them even said--"If i committed a crime Mom would still love me. She would insist i make restitution if a property crime and if i wouldn't turn myself in, even if i did bodily harm to someone, she would turn me in--then maintain contact and be supportive even if i went to prison."

Ironically, he's the one who's much more politically conservative than me, his twin and their sister. He's also the least likely of us to commit so much as civil disobedience. But we all maintain civility when discussing politics and refuse to let our differing POVs to alienate us from one another. Because we love each other, even when we disagree.
 
George1959 said:
"No matter what". Now imagine that your son was a serial killer as Ted Bundy. Would you still love him after what he had done?
If you answer this with 'yes', I'd say this is in fact unconditional love.
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Or suppose he (or she) tried to kill one or both of his (her) own parents, and the only thing that stopped it was police intervention. In my case, this isn't hypothetical.
 
George didn't ask me but I would say "yes." I would feel terrible about what he did, search my memory for what I might have done wrong raising him, want him safely in prison so he could do no more harm, but still love him with my heart broken.

MACKTEXAS said:
Or suppose he (or she) tried to kill one or both of his (her) own parents, and the only thing that stopped it was police intervention. In my case, this isn't hypothetical.
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I'm so sorry Mack. Is she mentally ill or addicted to something? I'm sure I would be looking for excuses for her. I know you can fear your own child and still love them. I know you can call the police on them and still love them. I think you can be afraid to live in the same house with them and still love them.
 
Della said:
George didn't ask me but I would say "yes." I would feel terrible about what he did, search my memory for what I might have done wrong raising him, want him safely in prison so he could do no more harm, but still love him with my heart broken.

I'm so sorry Mack. Is she mentally ill or addicted to something? I'm sure I would be looking for excuses for her. I know you can fear your own child and still love them. I know you can call the police on them and still love them. I think you can be afraid to live in the same house with them and still love them.
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Thanks for your reply, Della. You meant well. We did all that and a lot more. It didn't work. A love based on fear and distrust doesn't mean much, and I'm not okay with answering those other questions and details in a public forum.
 
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My darling wife and I have been married for fifty seven years, yet it feels like only yesterday that we were starting our life's journey together. Others have intimated that there comes a point, well, not for me. Whether it was luck or simply compatibility, we are lovers and always have been. As well as my lover my wife has been my rock, my laughter, and my greatest comfort. Our love has grown stronger with each passing year, long may we always be there for one another.
 
Murrmurr said:
When someone whose intimate partner beats them says "But I love him (or her)," I guess that's unconditional love.

I have conditions, and I'm not gonna fall in love with a woman who doesn't.
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That's sort of turning things around, but I get your point.

It's possible to feel love for someone you don't trust or respect, but it's incomplete and unhealthy, lacking in emotional and / or physical safety, without fulfillment, and ultimately unsustainable.
 
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