Do you Consider this Reasonable?

hearlady

hearlady

Homebody
Location
N Carolina
We have two bathrooms. The one that we use needs new tiling.
The water was cut off and it has not been repaired for four years.
There have been some attempts and little progress.
I would do it if I could and am very willing to help.
The stalemate is he cannot physically finish but he won't hire anyone due to expense.
The work I did do was mostly redone because it wasn't perfect.
I have finally put my foot down but now I'm the nag.
This is someone who is very handy and can fix all kinds of things but this is coming between us.
We have another bathroom but the holidays means guests and although its family I don't like to share.
Now there is silence right at the worst time.
He hasn't asked for help from our son or SIL. He is very particular.
 

Can you hire someone yourself? I understand if you can't. When I lived with/was married to someone who paid all the bills, they decided what we could afford. I was fine with that.

So, I'd say either pay for it yourself or put up with sharing over the holidays.

Or, tell people you can't have visitors this year because of conditions in the house and/or your husband's health. You're getting older, they should understand.
 
I can share and I can wait until after the holidays.
I just don't want to wait another year and that's what will happen.
Yes, I will have to hire someone myself if something doesn't happen even though it will be poking the bear.
I like the bear when he's on my side!
I'm happy to let him handle the finances but this is ridiculous.
Guess I just am looking for someone to say I'm not crazy-4 years is unreasonable.
 
hearlady said:
I can share and I can wait until after the holidays.
I just don't want to wait another year and that's what will happen.
Yes, I will have to hire someone myself if something doesn't happen even though it will be poking the bear.
I like the bear when he's on my side!
I'm happy to let him handle the finances but this is ridiculous.
Guess I just am looking for someone to say I'm not crazy-4 years is unreasonable.
Click to expand...
You're not crazy, and, actually, he's not your boss.

He's your husband, so I get that you don't want to upset him, but HE'S being unreasonable. And you've been way too patient.
 
Doing a major reno just before Christmas is not something I would not want to tackle. Chances are something could go wrong. Major bathroom renos are not a DIY job. Can you just get the water back on and maybe spruce it up a bit, paint, new light fixtures. For now.

Ask hubby if after the holidays is a better time, see what he says. And discuss a budget. The budget almost always gets blown.
 
Ive realized it is so hard to comment on a situation without knowing the people involved and any background.
That being said I so appreciate the feedback and genuine interest.
I would never expect him to tackle this job before the new year. I wish I hadn't brought it up now but company coming brought it to my mind.
Yes, he's overwhelmed with this. He's 69 with a bad SI joint.
He usually tackles all home repairs and is quite handy. It is a huge deal to have to hire this expensive project out but I don't think we can afford not to.
Again, I picked the wrong time to confront it but the elephant in the room was in my way.
 
Bathrooms and Kitchens are huge projects ....or BECOME huge projects, as you begin to tackle them. They are, however, a priority! To make this work, I suggest trying to come up with a plan, together. Reading between your lines, it sounds like you are a good team! Marriages are made up of miracles as well a mysteries. Good luck!
 
You’re not crazy.

But yeah, I’d call a truce for now. ‘Tis the Season 🎄 and now isn’t the time to go to war, though I completely understand you wanting it fixed so you don’t have to share your bathroom!!
 
i dont think your crazy HD ..and i would not put up with it ...End Off......
can you not sort it out yourself
Get your Personal bathroom sorted ,
leave him to sort out his !!!

Has he always been like This ?
 
When the time comes to sell your house, the bathroom will need to be in working condition. Convince DH that you’ll make money by investing in repairing this bathroom. If you’re going to be in the house for several years, you could design it to accommodate you for possible physical issues.
 
Quote
"We have two bathrooms. The one that we use needs new tiling.
The water was cut off and it has not been repaired for four years."

As I understand your post. The water was cut off for the bathroom you don't use.

Then you post this.

Quote
"We have another bathroom but the holidays means guests and although its family I don't like to share."

That's a little confusing? Is that bathroom useable if the water is turned on?

If you have good communication then asking him to teach your SIL how to do what he can would be a solution. Explaining he wouldn't be needy but sharing his knowledge would help his daughter for future projects.
 
Oh, yes, I see the conclusion. It's the shower in the bath we use that's out of order.
We have to share the shower in the second (guest) bath.
Not a big deal...........but four years? That's the kicker.
It will be done this year one way or another.
 
hearlady said:
I can share and I can wait until after the holidays.
I just don't want to wait another year and that's what will happen.
Yes, I will have to hire someone myself if something doesn't happen even though it will be poking the bear.
I like the bear when he's on my side!
I'm happy to let him handle the finances but this is ridiculous.
Guess I just am looking for someone to say I'm not crazy-4 years is unreasonable.
Click to expand...
I am at a stage in my life where if he won't fix what needs fixing, I call in the 'expert'. It is not because he can't,but just has to show he is in charge, so pathetic.
 

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